i dream of
an awkward
first kiss
that starts
at my forehead
and gravitates
to my lips

i can see
a shared smile
and hear
a childish
chuckle
echoing between us
as we say
“**** the universe”
and we throw away
all the past things
we’d rehearsed
because, let’s face it
the us we’ve been
has been cursed
and the world around us
has been pointing
to
so many signs
trying to lead us
to each other
but somehow
we’ve still never touched
never kissed
never licked
never ******
maybe deep down
we know it’d
be too much
and we’d both
just melt
into puddles
and remain
as mush

but whenever
i tell my heart
to hush
it talks back
all sassy
like a teen girl
to her mother
saying “idgaf”
and like
girl, i get it
i am it
i live it
but
what
the
****?

why do i try
and then run
out of luck?

*******
hockey puck

something
something

i’m a frog
and i am
too afraid
to strut my stuff

I've started feeling you even in my writings
You've invaded my mental space
You've squizzed your way through my heart
You have made me a prisoner to desires
Ones I'm not ready to face
Adventures I'm not willing to partake
Unruly passions weave their web in my soul
Do you know what is worse than unrequited love
Forbidden passions that have been reciprocated
I've never been a daredevil and for you
Still, I will not
I have loved and I still love
Attraction is just child's play an illusion

To love you
In secret
burns through me.

I can not hear the birds
Singing to me.
Your song echos

Touch me
I want to be devoured by you

From within, I cry out to you
but my surroundings paralyze us

We cannot say it.
Like salt statues of lovers
I freeze when I turn to you

Why, then, do you wait for me?

I am stone, I am still, I will never catch up.

She pleaded, "Love me,"
Clasped in my arms, in the void of my desolation
I implored her, "Let not your fragrance linger on my sheets, should you forsake me"
I'm a shadow, not the soul you see
In the depths of my heart, a love like no other blooms,
Yet, no hands have ever offered solace
But yours, Amaka, they've graced me
No others have brushed my soul
The gods and the princes swept away my kin
The ancient spirits and council stripped my autonomy
The divine forces and masses shattered my tranquility
The gods and my oppressors pilfered my joy.

Amaka, I beg you to listen to my tale, as I bared my truth to you
In bliss, my brother and I once thrived, a happiness profound
My sisters and I once reveled, a laughter shared
How I wish you glimpsed my parents, their faith profound, they rejoiced in the divine
Then, one fateful day, our people were swallowed by the land, the gods' decree
The great king sleeps eternal, lives sacrificed for fate's designs
One somber day, our clan fell, as the elders ordained
The great king sleeps eternal, his passage eased by the companions he brings
One mournful day, our tribe crumbled, a sacrifice to appease the multitude's desire
The great king sleeps eternal, a new reign awakens, adorned with offerings.

Buried alive were our brethren, at the gods' command, their lives entwined
And for chattel to journey alongside the great ruler, destinies yielded to abyssal Depths.

Amaka, daughter of the great king, whispered,
"Love me,"
Enveloped in my arms, in the absence of all
I implored her, "Let not your fragrance linger on my sheets, should you forsake me"
I'm a shade, not the figure you perceive
From the slave caste, I emerged
A love as boundless as the heavens blossoms within me,
No hands have journeyed through my existence, except yours, Amaka
None have touched my being as you do,
Thus,
I vow to defy the deities, the new ruler, the princes, the council, and the multitude
So we might flourish, unshackled, in our affection's embrace.

Yet, if fate compels your departure,
Then entomb me under the earth, as the gods did my kin,
For you are all I possess, all I fight for, all I cherish in this world of woe.