When you lay at night, I know you think of me. I know this because I think of you too
Or am I delusional?
Is the way you look at me fraud?
Do your eyes lie?
U know my truth, but yours is so hard to know
Your mask is frightening but natural and real-looking that I’m starting to believe I only thought it was in fact a mask
Is this a ball? Since we both know I wear a mask too
I explain mine to you though, why I wear it
but you stay silent and I stay confused
If you don’t truly love me, I should go
If it really is just a party, and this is not just a mask, I’ll remove mine  
If you don’t think of me at night or in the morning, if the way you look at me is fraud, if your eyes lie, then I’ll stop my front
But if you do, I’ll glue my mask on until we can finally reveal our faces and dance.

is it the radiation
why i have been set ablaze
how one feels so fortunate to be blinded
by the sun
for you to admire
from the first word that ever truly carried
any weight through your ear
summer boy
summer man
i want to hold your summer hands
and taste the winter in your skin
i’ll grow flowers from your skull
when you can no longer hold
all the blood and bone
oh to have eternity
bat her eyes at us
how fortunate can two beasts be
consecrating you to me
plucked with the gentlest touch
and may the black swan
never drink
from our waters

All my life i have been devoted to a god of lust
There’s red flowing all around me
Images in my head of a body, beaten and ******
Burning me up like flames of agony
Like falling through your thorns
To get to the roses
Oh how i adore the scent of copper and pollen
As you overtake me again

I wake up the next day,
With bruises and swollen cuts
Admire my marks
Among my fading scars
This forbidden love
Eats me up, then spits me out
And leaves me starving

Azure, it tried to be,
a pure blue, more than *****,
more than daily truths

Like a sky undecided
as if it was supposed to be vaulting
but its hem got caught

And the stumble was the same as always,
teeth clenched really tight
til the dark goes

There I stood.
There I ached.
There I cried.
There I hoped.

Must be a dream
Or a nightmare
Just far from reality.

Reminiscing the days,
Just you and me.
Not a glance of her,
Nor echo of her voice.

You were happy,
I was happy,
Both of us were happy.
Right?

I told you my love
You did the same.
Thrice.

Told me of going back time
I asked if you're willing.
Making the sacrifice.

What we have now
It should be enough.
Yet the feels of seeking more
keeps creeping in.

Thoughts of regrets
Not making the mistake.
Longingness and misses
Wouldn't have to exist.

I love you
But you have her.
And though you love her,
You love me still

Indeed difficult,
Letting go the emotions.
Yet holding on,
Bigger and deeper wounds,
More than to bare.

I love you
Yet you have her.
Her with your angels
Beautiful, soon to come out.

I'll be happy
You'll be happy
We'll both still be happy.
Won't we?

I never intended this to be about you
But you fit every poem and prose that I write
My allegory lies within my gestures, stares, and smiles
And I hope you wouldn't read between the lines,
'Cause that would be the end and I'll pay the price.

For I'd rather be an empty letter in your word
Than be a sinner in their eyes.


©kg