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Nina Aug 2019
Talk to me when you're drunk again
That's the only time i have your attention
You called me your girl
You held me by the hand
You tried to kiss me
You kept trying to get my attention

You were drunk
You were unaware of what you were doing
But I didn't care that night

Be drunk again
So i can experience it once more
Because out of all the girls that were there that night
I was the only one you did that to

So be drunk
Be mine
Now that you're sober
You don't remember me anymore
Nina Jun 2019
I was called egoistic
For wanting you
I was called egoistic
For putting my feelings first
But am i really egoistic?
When it's hurting me
Instead of pleasing me
Nina Jun 2019
with you gone
my bed's a feels a little bigger now
my phone's really silent now
and my heart
is empty
again
Nina Dec 2019
Everyone leaves
And i wondered
Why wasn't i enough
Then i realised
I was too much
For them to handle
I was more than enough
Nina May 2019
I didn't like him at first
But something about him made me love him
Something about him made me want him
We got so close
And I thought I could finally call him mine
But as the time past by
The closer we got,
The more distant I feel we have become
And that's when I fear,
Him leaving me,
When I thought I could fall in love
But end up falling in isolation
Nina Feb 2020
We went on fake dates
We were fake couples
And yet
The only thing that wasn't fake
Was my feelings for him
Nina Jul 2019
I've moved on
And I'm happier now






















Sorry i lied.
Truth is,
I miss you so much,
And I'm not okay without you here.
Nina Jul 2019
I will keep on falling
Falling in love with you
Despite knowing how painful the fall will be
I will still fall
If it's for you
Nina May 2021
I fantasise
About you and i

Because that's the only way
I can dream happy
The only way
I wont get hurt
Nina May 2020
I dream of you
Everytime i close my eyes
In a world where i can control
The story
Of you and me
A love
That could never be found
In reality

In my dreams
Is where i could fantasise
About you
Nina May 2019
I was a risk,
He didnt dare to take
Nina Oct 2018
Whenever you feel like giving up,
Stop what you're doing and think.
Think carefully and look for a reason.
A reason to move forward
To keep on going

It's not the end
If you look hard enough,
You'll find the reason and will to stay.
Even if it's for a short while,
It's still a reason
Nina Sep 2018
I thought you cared
Thought you loved me
But you never did

You made me smile
You made me laugh
You made me feel important
For a while

You tried your hardest
And i fell for you
Yet you left me hanging
Without a clue

Sadly
I'm such a fool
To fall for you
Nina Mar 2020
I fell in love with a customer
Something about him
Attracted me
I wasn't interested in anyone else
Other than him

We got along
We hang out often
He came down whenever i end my shift early

We were like couples
But we weren't
I fell deeply for him
But he wasnt keen on being with me
Why , i wonder.
Is it because im a waitress?
And he's a customer?
Why was my love not strong enough
To make him stay?
If he liked me,
Why did he chose someone else?
Maybe im just foolish
To think
A waitress
Could end up with a customer

Maybe i was the only one
That believed in this foolish love
Nina May 2019
We were both broken
Damaged
And afraid to love again
But we were a perfect fit
A perfect match
To make our hearts whole again

But we forced ourselves too soon
Colliding our hearts together too fast
That it shattered into pieces

Instead of taking it slow
We only broke it further
Nina Feb 2020
It is wrong
To be 19
But already looking for someone
To have a future with?
To plan marriage and children?
Somehow,
Every guy i came across with
Walks away
Because of what i want
Maybe  I'm too young to think of the future
But last night
I met you
And you told me
How you're looking for someone
To start a future with
You laughed it off
And said how you're too young to be thinking about it
And yet you were
I didn't know
Id find
Someone who is as freaky as me
To be wanting a future with someone
At such a young age
I think
He's the one
I hope he is
Nina Jul 2019
He was my entire world
But i was just his friend
Nina Sep 2019
We hug
We kiss
We cuddle
In bed

We were just friends
We made out
To him
We were having ***
To me
We were making love
I was his friends with benefits
But he was my lover
Nina May 2020
All they wanted to do
Was get under your pants
And once they got in
They'll leave as it nothing had happened

Just another pit-stop
For their ***** ***
Nina Jul 2019
My heart is broken,
Yet all the shattered pieces,
Love you endlessly.
Nina Jun 2019
Like a shining star
He glowed brightly in the dark
Outshining the rest

Such a small being
Having big dreams that one day
He will shine brighter

Brighter than the moon
For he had wanted to be
The one she notices
Nina May 2020
He got his hands in his pants
obsessing about her
fantasizing her touching him

who wouldn't ?
she had a body of a goddess
tattooed brown skin
curvy body
with and average sized assets

he wanted to her
solely for ***
but he's no different from the rest
the queue of guys
lining up
with their hands in their pants
trying their best
to get their **** in her
Nina Jul 2019
Hate me
Hate me
I beg you to hate me
I just want you to hate me
Why , you ask.
So that when i die,
It wouldn't hurt you
Since you hated me from the start
Nina Jul 2019
Someone asked me why I chose a job that ends late at night
And all I could say was,
It's alright.
It's not like i could sleep early lately.
So i don't mind working late at night.

What i did not mention was that
I was too busy crying every night before I head to bed
The reason why sleeping is so hard
I wouldnt want them to know
That the reason I was lacking sleep
Was because of a guy
Of a memory
Not because of work
Nina Jun 2019
Have you ever look back at old pictures,
old conversations
and just smile at it
remembering all the little details
but at the same time
you cry
at how painful it is
to be living without it

to smile while you're crying
to be happy but hurting
Nina Aug 2019
He had pretty eyes
And seductive lips
He told me
That i turn him on
I just laugh it off
But little did he know
He had turn me on first
Nina Sep 2018
What a pity
She had a pretty smile
so pure
that it enlightens others
But she's been hurt far too many times that she fakes a smile
A hidden smile
Covered by layers of paint
Unable to be scraped off

Shes Drowning in the sea
Hoping to emerge from it
However she's chained up
Unable to proceed
Unable to safe herself
Nina Oct 2020
I was always seeking for you
And you would seek for me too
And when you hid
I'd come looking for you
But when i tried to hide
It didn't occur to you that i was missing
That's when i realised
I was the only one
Playing this little game of hide and seek
Nina May 2020
Can't stop thinking about him
Can't stop thinking of his ****

Do i really want him?
Or just his ****.
Nina Feb 2020
Honestly
I miss you alot
I still love you
I haven't gotten over you
And It *****
Because I'm no longer in your mind
And yet
I miss you
I still love you
And i don't plan on forgetting you
Nina Sep 2018
During her darkest day
He appeared before her eyes
Glowing so brightly
Overcoming the darkness
And that moment She knew
he's the one
That will make her life
Bright once again
Nina Jul 2019
I want to let go
And move on to someone new
But how can i do so?
When everything i do,
I look for you.
And everyone i see,
I see you.
Nina Sep 2019
I'm not sure how long more
I can pretend to be happy
How long more
I'd be able to put this fake smile on my face
Endure my panic attacks
Living the day hiding the pain

Everything is going down hill
Nothing is getting better

I dont know
How long more
I'd be able to endure
Before i do something bad
Once again
Nina Oct 2019
I knew that I'll lose you someday
And that day
Has already past
It's been 2 weeks
Since i last saw you
And it hurts to know
That we are back to being strangers
And yet
I still keep your photos on my phone
And still smile at them
Knowing how happy i was
During that day
When i was with you
I was so happy
But all i can afford to do now
Is to smile
At those memories
Even though
Its hurting me deeply inside
Nina May 2020
I won't deny
But it hurts to admit it
It hurts to say it
The words
Hanging in
Not wanting to go out

It hurts to say
That I'm still not over you
That i still think about you

I know you're happier now
It hurts me to say
But I'm glad you're happy with her

I'm sorry for not being  good enough
I'm glad you have her now

It hurts to say
But I'm happy for you.
Nina Oct 2020
I am a mess
I find happiness
In self pain
I find comfort
In heart breaks

It hurts to feel the pain
And yet
I am completely okay with it


I am a mess
I feel empty
And incompletely
Without the need
Of getting hurt
Nina Aug 2019
If i knew it would be our last goodbye
I would've end it in a nice way
If i knew it was the last time i could call you,
I would've let you talk the entire time
If i knew all of our text messages will be ignored,
I wouldn't have ended it with something rude
Instead
I would've said how much i loved you
How much i care
How much i need you
If i knew it was going to be the end
I would've prepared for a better ending
Nina Jul 2019
I finally knew why
His feelings for me has faded
The reason why
He wouldn't want me back
Why
He no longer wants me

It was because
He was able to get the one he wanted
The one he has been waiting for all this while
When I thought I could replace her,
I guess I was wrong
And now I knew why
There is no more us
But only him and her.
Nina Mar 2020
If you didn't love me
Then why did you pretend to?
Why did you text me everyday, hour, minute?
Why did you call me everyday?
Why did you pick me up from work?
Why did you always hug me when you know im not okay?

You said you don't love me
And yet
You're doing things to make me love You
You became so important to me
And i wonder what i did wrong
To make you leave

So why?
Tell me why.
If you didn't love me,
Why did you make me love you?
Nina Aug 2019
Don't close your heart
because of your Eyes.
Believe me,
you won't even find love
if you're just gonna rely on the ideal person you want.
Beauty doesnt last forever.
Stop being ignorant
Nina Sep 2019
I've already fallen for you
I swore I wouldn't
But i just couldn't stop falling
I know
You've warned me from the start
You're not interested in commitment
And i understood that
You're not ready
Not now
But I've already fallen for you
So that's okay
Use me
If it makes you happy
By all means
Make use of me
It makes no difference
I've already fallen for you
And that already hurts
So use me as your one night stand
It's the same
As one sided love
Either way
I will still get hurt
Because I'm already attach to you

So that's okay
I love you either way
Nina May 2019
I miss you
Everyday
Every hour
Every minute
Every second
I miss you so much
That it hurts
There's nothing I can do
Other than missing you
Nina Sep 2018
I'm sorry im not pretty enough to be the one you admire
I'm sorry for not being feminine enough to be called cute
I'm sorry for not being the one you look forward to texting
I'm sorry for being annoying when i kept asking you how your day went
I'm sorry for not being the one you like
Im sorry for loving you
Nina May 2019
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for loving you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for missing you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for needing you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for wanting you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for clinging onto you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for wishing you were mine
I'm sorry
I guess all i can say is I'm sorry
Because all i ever was,
Was a nuisance to you.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for everything
For being alive
Nina Sep 2019
I'm tired
I'm tired of faking my smiles
pretending to be happy
lying that I'm fine
I'm tired of being a disappointment
Being a mess
Being useless
I'm tired of dealing with toxic people
With a broken family
I'm tired of panic attacks
I'm tired of crying
I'm tired of everything
Nina Feb 2020
And yet again
I've fallen for another Irish man
And got my heart broken once again
Nina Dec 2019
I've never thought
I'd fall for an Irish man
Never have i ever
Considered falling for one
And yet
I did
I fell too deep
For a man i barely knew
And yet
I wanted to have a future with him
I wanted to learn  more about him

The first irish man
To ever made me fallen so deep
The one that taught me how to long myself
To accept me for who i am
Ive fallen for him too deeply
For he is the first man
To teach me so many things
To love myself
To accept myself
He was the first man
The first irish man
I'd fallen for
And  would always be in my heart
He was the first irish man
I want to have a future with
Nina Aug 2019
I met a guy
At a pub
He was way beyond tall
With pretty blue eyes
And long eyelashes

I couldn't help myself
But to stare into his eyes
And when he stares at me
Oh gosh I can't help it
But to smile at him
And seeing his smile
Makes me fall in love a little more

He was an Irish man
I never knew
I'd fall for an Irish man
I thought,maybe, he was british.
But i was wrong
But that didn't matter
I don't care that he was irish
For all it matters,
I was in love with an irish man

But sad news
He isn't looking for love
He was just looking for fun
But thats alright

I hope maybe
Someday
We can meet again
And maybe
By that time
I would have Irish Babies with him

He was the first irish man
I'd fallen for
And i hope
He's the only irish man I'd love
My story of meeting an irish man and falling for him
Nina Sep 2018
Do you ever just sit there and realize that you mean nothing to anyone
you start feeling lost,
alone,
unloved,
and truly unwanted.
But there's nothing you can do about it.
So you just bury it inside of yourself
Nina Oct 2019
It hurts me deeply
Knowing that we are nothing
When i thought
We could've been something
It hurts me a lot
Know that you don't miss me at all
When I'm here dying to talk to you again
It hurts
Having to live each day
Without talking to you
Without waking up to your face
Feeling your warmth during those cold days

But that doesn't hurt as much as
When i still see you in person
But you don't talk to me
Nor look at me
It's as if I'm invisible to you
And the sad part is
I have to do the same
Pretend you're not there
And I can't smile when i look at you anymore
Instead
I'm holding my tears
And pretending to be fine
With you gone forever
It hurts
To be this way
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