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Atta Mar 2020
hey
i hope you're in good shape
i really hope so

it's been 23 months
i was not sure how many gallons of tear
i've been drowned by
i was not....
sure

i just...



it's been to long







i completely forget what you look like
and i am happy about that

but the fact that i couldn't erase everything related to you
from my mind
i despise that



midnight struck,
i decide to write
and i don't have enough love story
to be written

my dull brain just decided to remember
sometime in 2018
and you


oh dear,
oh dear....


how are you t?
help me from tearing myself away
by being gone forever from my mind
can you?


....
Atta Aug 2014
I'm all alone
00.23
I'm afraid
No words
Can explain it at all
Still, 00.23
I can't fall asleep
Now it's 00.24
I don't know what to do
Hungry
I'm hungry
00.25
O mom why are you there
With dad
Not with me
Im afraid
Im afraid
Im afraid
00.26
Still wide awake
Atta Aug 2017
Malam hari kau berteriak
'tolong'
dari matamu aku tahu kau butuh sesuatu
untuk kau jadikan alasan untuk terus berjuang

Malam hari itu, kau bungkam
kau memaksakan diri untuk tersenyum
tertawa
alunan suara tak pernah berbohong, sayang
matamu yang sayu itu menangis, sayang...

Ada apa?

Malam hari itu aku berpikir
Ada apa?
Ada apa?

Kamu tahu? Kesedihan seseorang yang disayang itu menular bak penyakit yang arogan mengerogoti badan?

Kamu tahu? Aku tertular?

Dan aku bahagia, setidaknya aku masih punya hati untuk merasakan duka bersama.
ya kalo ngerasa toh maafkan aku tidak sengaja... Kamu punya teman kamu punya keluarga yang bisa mendengarmu. Kamu harusnya lebih kuat. Kamu punya latar belakang yang bisa membuatmu berbuat seenaknya. Kamu menutup mata pun bisa bahagia.


Aku tidak.
Atta May 2019
i always thought something bad happened
in a midway of our journey
that sometimes i found myself with trembling hands

i have lover
i have friends
wealth
health
and everything
you might be dreamt of

but it never changed how timid i am
in every path, every direction
and i always found myself lost in blue
Atta Oct 2014
There were a boy
and a girl
they were happy to have each other

and?

There were me
and another of me
trying to collect my pieces of broken heart
just saw my crush with another girl even i know that they are not in a relationship. i can do nothing. but i hope for everything.
devastation.
Atta Sep 2014
I lost a soul
Beautiful soul
In a blue dawn
I lost you

I lost my love
Now I have to live
My life without
You
I lost my cat, 14-9-14
Atta Jun 2017
ever heard of broken poem?
when i trie d too hard
When tears ztreaming down my cheeks
When my kips stain is everywher when
My macsara is ruiend by tearz
When there iz knife waiting to be used
When i got 2 bottles//packs of pill
When i cryed so hard my stomach ache
When
And when
When
i start to thinj
To edn e erything?
And that's how i wrote my broken poen.
Atta Jan 2020
mungkin akan menjadi cerita ter-lusuh yang pernah aku tulis

-----

ingat ketika aku dan kamu di padang rumput yang menguning?
lalu kita sama-sama terpukau dengan pemandangan di depan mata
waktu itu kita sama-sama tidak berusaha memotretnya
karena masing-masing kita hanya fokus mencari ide untuk memulai percakapan


mungkin saat itu aku sudah terpikir sesuatu untuk aku mulai
tapi lucunya, malah kamu yang memulai percakapan
waktu itu kamu bertanya tentang kehidupanku semester ini
baik atau tidak baik
seperti biasa aku mengumpat, sungguh, tidak baik hidupku satu semester ini


kamu tertawa, entah menertawakan nasibku atau reaksiku
kamu tertawa seakan aku baru saja memberi lelucon terlucu abad ini
mungkin kalau kamu bukan kamu, aku sudah marah
tapi aku justru suka
dan jujur, aku bisa saja bersyukur mempunyai nasib seburuk itu hanya untuk mendengarkanmu tertawa


setelah itu giliranmu bercerita
aku sudah bisa menebak, ceritamu pasti seputar hal yang tidak penting
dan memang benar.....
tapi aku tetap mendengarkan, karena pupil matamu melebar
tanda kamu suka dengan hal yang kamu ceritakan
dan aku suka ketika kamu semangat dalam meceritakannya
aku mendengarkan


-//-


waktu berjalan, obrolan kami mulai masuk dalam topik yang rumit
tentang penciptaan, tentang dunia, tentang alasan kami hidup
biasanya otakku mulai memanas ketika membicarakan hal ini
dengan lawan bicara yang lain
tapi denganmu, aku mengidamkan lebih
seperti perpustakaan yang disinari lampu kuning hangat
dan kutu buku yang tersenyum membaca tumpukan buku harum


setelahnya...
ini bersambung ya udh mlm ngantuk bye
kepo kan syp xixixiix
Atta Feb 2016
For not letting go
is a sin
January 3rd, 2016.
I lost my cat, Bobo.
2007-2016
A great loss i can't believe
i can't live with him
only sins that i have
Atta Apr 2020
ini sudah malam
matahari sudah tidak nampak
jalanan sudah sepi
burung pun kembali ke sarangnya

ini sudah larut
aku sudah berada di kasurku
kamu pun juga di kasurmu
diantara kita, masih sama-sama diam

aku sudah lelah
setelah menunggumu semalaman
sampai hatiku merintih menyesal
tapi tak ada lagi sapaan darimu malam ini

aku terlelap
setelah semalaman menangis
menyesal, kenapa aku tidak memaafkanmu
menyesal, kenapa aku tidak memintamu kembali

kalau bulan bisa memberi tahu
harusnya aku yang memulai
-
namun malam ini aku diam
kamu pun, diam
dari aku yang waktu itu diam saja. yang hanya bisa mengharapkanmu memulai lagi.
Atta Mar 2016
Small talks as we walk to the church
Future, life and hobbies are the topics
I am happy by the time you tell me
Everything in your life
I am happy to be with you

Holding your hand so tight
Afraid to lose you
Your right hand is pale
Trembling and sweating
You are nervous and sad
"Why?"
You ask me

Now we walk in silent
It's raining, the sky is crying
I am crying for help
We can not hold any longer
Your eyes meet mine
We are not in real bond yet
And kissing is a sin for now
But I kiss you goodbye
And it tastes good
We both trembling and sweating
Afraid of the sin we made
God, forgive me
Out relationship is a sin

We arrive at the church
I do remember that day I kissed you
I touched you
I hugged you
So do you
You look sad
You look pale
But you are what you are
Do not change

"Goodbye," I smile, "take care."
You wave your hand
And smile at me
The sadness we both feel
Vapor in the blue air

I am heading back to the mosque
I can not change
Atta Jan 2019
terjebak dalam difraksi momen
menatap segala hirauanmu
yang kuanggap sebuah petuah

aku berdiri dalam kesunyian
diacuhkan dalam situasi
yang kuharap segera berlalu
e\\
Atta Jun 2017
e\\
After a desperate night and thoughtful day I decided to re-write several facts about my crush!

First of all, chill. I know my crush won't see this because of lack signal or lack of love idk. Both reasons are acceptable.

Here, several unworthy facts about my crush that you ****** hoomans gave no **** about:
1. He is taller than me. Like 15-20 cm taller. I'm not talking about gigantic monster and won't date one, but if I have to date one it's okay lol. I have friend that tall like Eiffel tower and big as **** and tbh I'm afraid of him. I'm sorry bro you remind me of troll even though you're fine. Ehe.
I agree that tall guys are hot, but with my body like smurf and boy like troll can't even imagine what our future be like if we were together. So, bye bye Eiffel tower.
Anyway I'm 155cm so he'll be like 170-175 cm.
And I just realized that he is tall too ***.

2. He is deadass Einstein with attitude like Hannah Baker. He is-in fact-weirdest mothafaka I've ever met. One day he'll be like 'oh I'll invent flying shoes' and one day he'll be like 'do you guys see my motivation to live?'.

3. He is innocent. Nuff said.

3.5. His phone is the most private phone I've ever seen. One day I was too curious to know what's​ hidden in his phone and deadass found nothing. I think it's normal for boy to have porns or naked women etc and expected to found at least one and ya I found nothing.
((Found picture of me though))

3.51. His browser history is clean.

4. He loves anime tittiez.

5. We love to spoil each other

6. I ONCE ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED HIS ***-*** **** IT. Not disappointed TEEHEE.

7. Same thing happened to me. He accidentally touched my boo-boo. He didn't recognize tho. But there I was standing still, stiff, wanted to die.

8. He is afraid of God. Sins ain't myth, sins are real.

9. He didn't know Lana del Rey.
D I S S A P O I N T E D.
Soon boi, I'll let you go deep in my world and meet my astral mama.

10. He isn't a fan of Paramore. Super disappointed :).

11. He lives far away from me.

Last,

12. He is one of the finest art God ever made and I love him to death.

Boi, i think i have to end this unworthy facts about you.
I'm afraid.



to cry.






I thought after I wrote this I'll be laughing or smiling etc.
But.....




e//
In the end,
I love you.

You'll find someone better than me smh.
Don't choose me.
Ehehegeheheheheheh.
I've got several more reasons to love you and some of it
Hurts me
So this is the end.
You'll always be my number one boy'friend.
Haaagt:(
Atta Jul 2015
i was born
to know
a fact that
youre not mine
Atta Jun 2017
I WROTE 6 PARAGRAPHS OF MY LOVE LIFE AND HELLOPOETRY DELETED IT.
Well it wasn't saved to draft by hellopoetry (accidentally or whatsoever) and it's not fully their fault. It's okay im suicidal human being it's all my fault it's okay.
hai
Atta May 2017
hai
jujur, selama ini
orang yang senyumnya
mencerminkan nusantara
mencerminkan wawasan
mencerminkan kecintaan
cuma kamu

jujur, selama itu
aku yang memperhatikanmu
dengan anggun merias suasana
dengan elok menceritakan segalanya
dengan indah membias di matamu
hanya aku
#bahasa
Atta Mar 2017
Jangan kegeeran
Siapa tau lo nyari nama gue di hellopoetry
Bukan apa-apa
Semua puisi yang pernah gue tulis
Bukan buat lo
Tapi buat gue sendiri
Gue emang pengecut cuma bisa nyampein disini
Yakali juga gue bilang ke lo
Sadar
Lo juga pengecut
Cuma bisa ngira
Gue mikirin lo suka lo dll
Mau tahu orang yang beneran gue sayang?
Yang beneran gue suka?
Yang udah mandiri
Yang udah bisa mikir masa depan
Yang gak manja ke mama papanya.
Orang kaya gitu ada
And i fell in love with him
Not with you *******.
-tertanda, cewek yang cuma nganggep lo gak lebih dari seorang pecundang.
Atta Mar 2015
if you read this, i want you to know that i love you so much. i dont care if you are with another girl, or you already build a family or youre there thinking of me. thinking how stupid i am. thinking how much time youve spent not to think of me. you are busy, i know. you are in love, i really know it. you are not in love with me, i know. i cried, the night i wrote this. the night i saw you with your dream girl. the night i had to pretend that i was being in good mood. i had to pretend i didnt know you. to pretend that you werent there. to pretend that i never knew you. i was tired that night. tired to hold the tears, so i decided to go home early. and funny thing was, i didnt cry. crying is for *******, so i decide to 'cut' my feeling. it hurt, a lot. but i didnt care. i lied. i cried. i care about you till now.

dear you, the luckiest girl ever, please hug him for me. take care of him. love him.
iloveyou mr red
(sorry for such broken english.) ah nvm he wouldnt know that i wrote this fot him
Atta Aug 2018
Hmmm....
Lagi ingin berkata tanpa nada puitis
ingin bercerita tentang dia
si anjing jalanan.

Kabarnya, dia masih di ambang temaram
merindu tentram.

Sedengarku, dia mengejar
tanpa berlari
lalu terjatuh.

Pantang menyerah seyakinku,
namun rapuh sejadinya.

Aku tidak pernah melihatnya
bersama anjing lainnya.
Mungkin, dia ingin sendiri.
Atau dia bisa sendiri.
Atau terbiasa sendiri?

Aah, aku hanya menunggu waktu menjawabnya
...

Seperti biasa.
Anjing anjing
Atta Jul 2017
We are not dating
and
I don't like you.
You are one of my friends, and I love you as friend.

I saw your brown eyes in many ways:
when they're blue, I set your mood to red.
Setting fire so we could burn the whole blue horizon.

When they're grey, I laughed a lil bit because your idea of everything.
Listening to our dream and dancing till the day comes.

When they're brown, we went to our own world.
You were the king and i was the queen, ruling our kingdom and executing our sadness.

man, those were the days we looked at each others and said some *******.

then, the day came and we took different paths.

soon, I'll see you sit beside me, cheering the moment from our thrones.

As friend.
Really *** is this. I do have boyfriend- and he's one of the sweetest ******* ever. Im so sorry if there were grammar errors becuase i gave no **** when i wrotr this lol.
Atta Jun 2015
I'm okay
I'm in love,
everything is so beautiful,
you are perfect.

I'm okay
I'm madly in love,
I'm happy to be with you,
don't go away.

I'm not okay
because I'm in love,
and I want to die.
You left me.
Atta May 2016
He is standing still.
For the world he had been betrayed by,
He had lost his grip on hope.

Dear,
Yang telah kau pegang erat itu
Hanya seutas tali
Seutas cerca.
Jangan kau harap tali lusuh itu
Membawamu maju
Tali itu kuat menarikmu
Mundur
Walau perlahan
Tak membuatmu maju

Betrayal is a gift, sometimes
Betrayal is a chance for you
To change what you've been given
To prove them that you are more than who you are
To be yourself, to find yourself

If betrayal is a living thing
You should smile to him sometime
Even if it hurts you
Because it is the worst way to hurt your enemy

Karena nanti kau tahu
Kau ditinggalkan
Untuk diberi kesempatan

Karena mungkin di antara kesempatan itu
Kau menemukanku
Atau yang lain
Yang lebih seiras denganmu

Almost a thosand years
You've been wandering
Finding goods
But only found the bads

I am standing still
Healing the world
So you can live here with me
Anjay tai.
Atta Jul 2017
Tick tock
The clock ticking, your heart aching
Knock​ knock
The time has arrived, your soul shaking
Dig dug
Heart beating faster than before
Klak klak
Eyes looking at beautiful creature
Snap snap
You lower your body, I'm confused
Will you?
Words come out from your mouth
I do
I say, crying.
IF ONLY YOU'RE HERE love:(
Atta Feb 2015
Ignore me
as long as the sun shines
So one day,
when I die
I'll blame my death on you
Feel guilty
as long as you hate me
Atta Jul 2015
i love you so much
you are my life
and world
and everything.
you are perfect to me.






















but you are not loving me back.



actually it hurts
a lot.



i'm waiting
for a long time.



still waiting.






i'm weak.
and weaker.
and today is the weakest of me.








congratulation.
long last.
it's your wedding.
you kiss her.




now i know i have to find someone
worth a life
and better than you.






(but i can't)






i'm dying.
i'm stranded
in loneliness.

it's ok to cry
it's ok to let go
it's ok to find someone better.



i'll find someone better than you
i promise.





(it's ok)
Atta Apr 22
i cherised ourselves in silence breeze
at every corner of crowd we've cultured together
and on every personalities i've dictaded
i've grown my trees on you

yet you put an end to my tree

i should had known you're my lumberjack behind me
brought axe sharpened behind my corner
you'd warmed me by the fireplace
branches by branches

from the trees i've nurtured on you

at least i still get warmth for a second
a milli if i could tell
at least i still get warmth

and i asked
and i asked you
for once
you said
you put effort on your tree
you cared too much for me
you've watered it down
with sweet sweat with sour tears
for me

but i still smell me on your fire
mahogany vanilla, fresh autumn
orangish purple, i could visioned

and i asked
and i asked you
million times
all you said was
it was your tree
your ******* tree
your tree that you couldn't named of
what was the wood what was the fruit
what was it? you didn't know
lame

i extinguished flame you engulfed
that only affected on us
your option was go and go away
some i couldnt choose
i let myself stranded in your tiny little miniature
of towns you've built over my anxiety
by words youve trashed down
on my feelings
if i stay, i'd soaked my soil with my ***** tempest
if i go, i 'd walked on invisible string gagged and blindfolded

i choose to stay
growing trees on anger
i bow down
if i stand up
i could see all direction
and i could see you watering down
your tree on your person
such a gardener you are
Atta Sep 2017
Namaku kepastian
aku hinggap di pikirannya
kamu selalu berdoa untuk mendapatkanku
tapi aku tidak pernah berpikir untuk meninggalkan inangku

Namaku kepastian
aku selalu mengintai malammu
aku tidak peduli berapa lembar tissue yang kau gunakan
karena aku akan terus mengintaimu dari ingangku

Namaku kepastian
aku selalu memperhatikan inangku
kadang dia berpikir untuk meninggalkanmu
mencari yang lebih darimu
tapi dia berpikir untuk bersamamu
karena kenyamanan yang dia dapat

Namaku kepastian
dan aku tidak akan pergi dari inangku.
Atta Jan 2018
Jadi kemaren gue rencananya kaya bikin puisi atau apalah gitu kan sebelum ganti tahun. tapi gue ketiduran. terus gue kaya pas bangun tuh gak nyesel amat sih tapi kaya ada satu beban aja gitu kalau belom post apa-apa disini. Jadi gue post aja deh first impression gue buat orang-orang yang aku sayang hehehe.
tapi karena maleaes, kapan-kapan aja deh bye.
Atta Apr 2015
i lost you
i lost my world
come back. please......
Atta Apr 2015
i have fear of not having you.
Atta Aug 2014
I have nobody
Even nobody wants me
If I was nobody
I don't want to be myself
I just want to be
Someone that is not
Nobody
Atta Apr 2015
i hated my father
a lot
i used to wish i was born fatherless
now i wish he lives longer
he is weak
fragile
but strong
he never cry
or leave me
but i did
now i regret everything
get well soon papa
Atta Aug 2017
Hening, pikirku
Aku sendiri di kerinduan malam
Bunyi kota malang melintang di pikiranku
Suara penyanyi jalanan memecah sunyi

Hening, pikirku
Aku sendiri di gelapnya ibu kota
Bunyi senyap pedagang memekik di telingaku
Suara hentakan kaki berirama melawan arus

Hening, kataku
Aku sendiri tanpa arah
Bunyi dentuman keras degup jantungku
dan
Suara muramnya hatiku memenuhi pikiran

Hening, ku terdiam
Bisingnya ibu kota malam ini
Itu semua untuk mengitung harapan
Seberapa besar kesempatanku untuk bersamamu
Sampai aku mengabaikan gemilangnya malam ini
Sampai aku melupakan kesempatan lainya

Bising, aku tersadar
you kno, when you're in love everything becomes blurry.
Atta Apr 2017
pfffttt
life is funny
one day i hope to live longer
one day i hope to die
pfffttt
i am funny
one day i prepared everything for school
one day i prepared a knife to **** myself
pfffttt
you are funny
one day you said you wouldn't leave me alone
now you leave me alone in the darkness
:( how to NOT have suicidal thought help
Atta May 2015
you hear me
by what i write
Atta Apr 2020
semua orang tersenyum
    semua orang bahagia
    itu yang nampak

    ketika langit gelap
    bintang bertaburan
    sepi sendiri

    semua orang menangis
    semua orang bersedih
    itu yang sesungguhnya
suatu luapan emosi tabu ditunjukkan di publik.
Atta Jan 2017
One day I saw you
pale skin, brown hair and everything's gold
brown eyes and blue sky matched well.

'Who is he?' I asked my self, bravely took a step forward to make sure you were a human being.
You were, indeed, a human being.

All the girls acted dumb and you were like a cactus erected deep to the really wet ground. Steady, dangerous but dying.
All the boys looking like you, jealous.
They were the plants grew on dry ground.
They need water for living.

and all the dumb girls
they wouldn't leave until the death of the steady cactus
money was all you have
and everything else i didn't really need
Kept watching your deathbed

I thought it'll be entertaining
Thinking you were like the others
dumb, and dumb, and dumb.

Oh no! I felt something on my cheeks
Wet and salt I taste and wet
Tears? Was it tears?
The lightning strucked to the center of my heart,
I didn't enjoy this.

Your deathbed was my deathbed
I was in terrible pain
But why?

And did you know?
The reason off the pain that i felt?
It's because
I fell in love with a dying cactus
Dying
Cactus.
1:03 am
P.s.:
Atta Feb 2015
i never want to know my future,
i know i am going to be a desperate woman
crying for help in past midnight
faking smile in front of everybody
looking at you from the distance
cutting myself in a red night
and for me,  every night
is red,
and red is your favorite color.

do you remember when i gave you a red smile?
you liked it, a lot.
and do you remember when i gave you all of my red heart?
you ignored me after that.

please try to change yourself,
and me.
**i don't want to be a desperate woman.
hahahaa :)
Atta Dec 2018
teruntuk kamu yang harumnya sudah hilang dari sisiku
yang jalannya sudah bukan aku yang mendampingi
yang tidurnya sudah bukan aku yang dimimpikan

tuan, apakah kamu pernah sesekali memikirkanku setelah sejenak pergi?
aku letih mencari sendiri jawaban dari semua pertanyaan
aku letih mencari kesalahanku dari semua amarahmu

untuk satu senja di bulan desember
selamat menikmati purnaku dalam bayanganmu
jadi puisinya berima aa aa dan ab ab heu sadar ga :(
Atta Nov 2014
If I die tomorrow,
will you attend my funeral?
Random thought hahaha.
Atta Apr 2020
everything that will happen tomorrow
is a blueprint of yesterday's ignorance
help the one in needs by stay at home and do physical distancing
Atta Mar 2017
I went outside
I saw the stars gazing
I saw the lights glowing
I saw my muddy path
and jumped and hoped and jumped
Avoided getting *****

I went to the airport
'What should I do?'
I asked myself when i was at the airport
Walked to the other corner
Stared at the people
Then walked
After that I decided to go home

I walked my way to the exit
I mean to the parking lot
I stopped breathing
when I saw you
a stranger
with nice hair
brown eyes
pale face
and a-little-to-pale lips
We stared at each other for a long time
but not enough time to fall in love

Awkward?
Yes. Of course.
Then what should I do?
because we attracted to each other
and nothing we could do
so we kept walking
in different directions

Hoping one of us had ***** to say hi.

Well too bad, I don't have any.

Dear stranger at the airport
If God gives us second chance
Will we recognize each other?
Will we say hi to each other?
Will we
fall in love? Eh?
[sorry for the bad grammar HEHEHEHE im so sleepy smh]
Atta Feb 2017
Jadi, bukan puisi atau lantunan ayat yang ingin ku tuliskan.
Hanya hal biasa yang mungkin kau lupa eksistesinya.

Kamu lupa berterima kasih dengan segala sesuatu yang kamu lewati. Kamu pernah berjanji ingin berubah (apaan anjing omdo).
Kamu pernah mengingkari dan selalu aku yang memaafkan. Kukatakan itu wajar.
Tapi melebihi batas wajar itu, kamu terus acuh dan acuh.
Brengsek.
Cacian saja sudah puas aku lontarkan?
Aku butuh lebih dari ini, bukan hanya kata-kata pedas yang kamu butuhkan.
Kamu butuh mati.
Kamu butuh mati rasa.
bodo amat bye.
Indonesian.
Atta Feb 2018
buat apa bermimpi
pada akhirnya terperosok jauh

buat apa mengkhayal
pada akhirnya tersesat dalam ilusi

mungkin itu cara Tuhan
untuk mengajarkan kita
cara untuk berusaha

atau mungkin itu cara Tuhan
untuk menjauhkan kita
dari kesenangan yang fana
dan keterpurukan yang nyata

terima kasih Tuhan









tapi aku sudah larut dalam keterpurukan itu, Tuhan.
menyalahkan Tuhannya ketika dia jatuh dan membenarkan dirinya, egois.
Atta Apr 2018
namamu akan terus mengalir dalam nadiku
bayang tentang dirimu berjalan mengiringiku
aku terus berharap kamu disini

pancaran matahari mengalahkan denyut nadiku
yang semakin lama kian memudar
mungkin aku melemah
tapi sosokmu yang berjuang di teluk sana
membangkitkan semangatku

kamulah permulaan dari pagi
aku yang di barat selalu menantikan mentarimu
ketika senja merona di langit
aku terhanyut dalam suasana bersamamu
terikat hangat di pelukanmu
:)
Atta Jul 2017
lol i survive
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you!
Atta May 2017
All of my poems are not about you.
Chill
Atta May 2017
Yogyakarta, 18 May 2017.
I lay in my be
my minds wandering around starbucks somewhere somehow.
I picture you come to my table, half run half walk "sorry, my flight was delayed for an hour."
You sat and took my right hand, look at my eyes deeply-even though i was looking at my cup of coffee​, sometime stared at you for couple times-then start to kiss my right hand like it was your precious thing.
It was, for you.
"It's alright" you stopped kissing my hand.
I know you were going to say how much you love me, wanting to say sorry for zillion times and...
Then i stop picturing us together.
It's my birthday, you know it.
Isn't it great when you say a simple 'happy birthday'?
It's simple, but beautiful and make me happy.
Make me want to continue my life.
Make me want to throw away my pain, my knife, my worst feelings.
It's my birthday, everybody knows it.
They wished me all the best and **** and **** and ****.
And you, i know you read my ****** poems.
please, im begging you, love,
Wish from you is all i need right now.
Happy birthday myseld wish me all the beat
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