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With my mind, I find I think I know,
and ask my assisting intelligence,

please, if my visualizing is aural,
for seeing ways through lightless
non reflective introspection,

if no para-metrics, sidereal influences,
put me and men and ment and mental
as letters letting contrasts form words,
at the point, dead center,
where will intends

this or that, and luck is not a factor, I know

how or why or when or where, here, as it were,
extending a will
to feel used, just, as justice,
reason excuse accepted balanced valence,

time used, chance taken, outcome aimed at hit.
Death, done at the end of life, is painless.
A unique friend put off this mortal coil today, his most used word, as a preacher, at a true little country church, his most used word was plethora,
and he left me with a plethora of good memories.
I wish I knew how to live
How to trust and to forgive
I wish I knew how to speak my mind
Maybe then some peace I’d find.
Open your eyes, and
Come out from the darkness. 
12 years have passed,
I’ve forgotten you from long ago.
I am sorry for dismissing you, 
Now, I want to put you on show.
12 years, since the coma,
Wake up, and
Live.
Now. Go,
Breathe.
You can do it,
The journey is not over,
It's only begun.
Each new day is a new life,
You can now sleep, knowing there’s more to come.
On this day, 12 years ago, I woke up from a 40-day coma, after a stroke during a brain aneurysm operation. 12 years has been a long time, and I've regained a lot of function but complete healing still hasn't happened, yet. Still hoping.
I'd rather feel icy touch
Than absence of your fingers
Despair
Disappointment clutched
Fear
Traces linger
Fatigue
Constant stress
And everything else we despised
I'd rather feel these than nothing I guess
Pain better than desolation disguised
You dragged me down darkened road
Threat of danger was a low-pitched hum
Senses burning seared and slowed
Rather feel the fire than be numb
Perceiving nerves stretch with agony
All I do is survive
Prefer ache over dull monotony
It proves that I'm still alive
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Jeremy Betts May 5
Please know that;
I
Don't want to live
But I
Don't want to die
So I
Become a captive
Deny
My modus operandi
The lie
Is naturally aggressive
Can I
Adapt on the fly
Can't I
Be illusive
'Till I
Can answer the why
So I
Will try objective
A good guy
Give it a collage try
Then I
Become reactive
This stye
Permanently in each eye
I try
But the mole hill's massive
And I
Still have no answers to why
I cry
That's all I have left to give
Still I
Knew better than to be believe in somethin' like an eye for an eye
But who am I?

©2024
VERSE ONE:
You know me truer than I know myself
Lately I've been turning into someone else
Thoughts I place upon a shelf
Hidden cause I won't ask for help
An honest woman most the time
Except when saying I am fine
I ask the universe why I'm alive
Born to live
Live to die
A fool
Will not try to deny
Already accepted I won't make it in life
Every moment you break me it hurts a little more
Worth it feeling butterflies in my core
Were once best friends but not anymore
After the pain I guess you got bored
Would bring flowers to your front door
It wouldn't make you feel the way you did before

HOOK:
To make something happen we had a chance
Just have to remember that homecoming dance
Believe it is special
Love we share
Can you sincerely say that deep down you don't still care?

VERSE TWO:
This worse than I ever feared
Fall of everything once held dear
This where the face that used to be near
Becomes distant memory
And unclear
Built by us when we first arrived here
The smiles
Secrets
And tears
As they tug heartstrings
Feelings flooding back
Standing on piles of perseverance I lack
Through mess it's difficult to make out what's real
Can't tell if infatuation or animosity I feel
Pinned against walls that close in and seal
Inside our souls so we don't heal
Meet shadows as we bend and kneel
Wonder from the floor why the world is so surreal
Your noose hanging from a beam of steel
Your death is a choice fate may steal

(HOOK)
Title is the name of the instrumental I looked up on YouTube to write this to
Bekah Halle Apr 1
She passes faster than we can grasp,
We try to capture her, firm in our clasp.
But she runs right through us,
Savouring, she becomes our mistress,
She rules indiscriminately,
Sometimes, not always, distressingly.

Oh, mistress Time, full of beauty,
Admired, best in present, free and fruity.
If we don't, we mourn,
And if only despaired, she will scorn.
But now, she comes alive,
Invigorated, we thrive.

Face to face, she tells tales,
Of the dreams; places we’ll sail.
Future fantasy, we indulge,
Temptress Time, let us divulge,
Our secrets,
Worn down, we slip; more regrets.
el Mar 20
death will tap your shoulder
seven times a lifetime
that’s what i’ve learnt
but when you whip your head around
death will have been long gone
and i suppose it’s fun to think about
that maybe death came and stood behind me for an entire week
but that’s not how death works
death will come to greet you  at even intervals
perhaps once when you are fourteen
and again when you are twenty one
and then when you are thirty nine

i am twenty now
and death scares me just as much as when i was a child
not the thought of dying,
but the thought of leaving things unfinished.
i am now 21, actually
The desire to pick up
Run
Escape the earth I walk upon
Everything else has disappeared
Fate
Faith
Life
Love
Still carry on
Some things in this world are eternal
Maybe I am where I need to be
The reason presently I can't see
Leaves with flourish spring from tree branches
Try to stay above these mental avalanches
Inside I am frozen
Hopeless
Blue
Outside I pretend it isn't true
Written 2-22-21
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