our lips will never meet
nor our fingers intertwine
and so bless my dreams
for indulging what's not mine

tell me why I dream of you
is it because at that same moment
you are dreaming of me too?
is it because energy doesn't lie?
whatever was between us
just doesn't want to die

she never wanted to say
"these are your flaws."
she had always preferred
"but these are your features!"
and she never quite understood
why the people we're closest to
are the most critical creatures.

a wick to a flame, I will light up
and meet the energy I'm given

is my candle burning from both ends?
is my true form an unlit candle
or a pile of melted wax?

The sky cries in fresh water
and my eyes write letters from the sea.

It's like we’re playing chess.
Moving strategically, testing boundaries,
all while watching each other’s expression.

We all know how this games ends…
The queen destroys you and steals your heart.

Love spills out from me in the form of words and tears and laughter.

I want to touch you and hold you and kiss you and love you so tenderly and with such softness that one wrong step could crush me.

Put me in your mouth and chew me up.
Take a bite out of my ripe, tender skin.
All you’ll find in this flesh, is love love love. Sweet and soft and juicy the way a peach bleeds.

A heavy hand, a heavier heart
full of every burden one can carry.
Made of earth, and stone, and stars
falling from the heavens, landing
with feet planted firmly in the ground.

You are so beautiful
that I would move mountains
just to get a better view.

Old and stained,
ragged and worn,
with holes and even
unraveled and torn.
Love is like your favorite sweater,
well used and seen all kinds of weather.
After a few years
and several loose threads,
there may be holes that need mending.
Don't get too worried my dear,
as long as the time that you're spending
is carefully piecing the threads back together.
Love is like your favorite sweater.

if it were up to me
we would meet at the edge
of the earth and the sea
in the space between
dreams and reality
and that's where we'd stay
for eternity

an August rich with wanting
in September my leaves changed colors
and I fell into madness.

I have a garden growing
entangled in my chest
the earth is overflowing
making quite a mess
pushing daisies from my ribcage
roses blooming in my heart
my lungs are filled with ivy
so I don't fall apart
each day the roots grow deeper
filling in the holes
I have a garden growing
deep within my soul.

dinner
prepared so carefully for you
curled up on your plate
next to the other sides

and you take your fork
and you take your knife

and you cut me open
and you take a bite

the sheer force of gravity
when two galaxies collide

their arms become entangled
like two lovers holding hands

and the laws of physics are certain
by design they were destined to meet

this moment was
quite literally
written in the stars

a strong silent power,
rising steady and certain.
putting in the honest work,
day in and day out.
our feminine nature
is the kind of persistent presence
that withstands, and outlasts
life's constant challenges.
eternally exceeding expectations,
we overcome, we succeed,
we grow.

Septembers remind us
that change, while inevitable
is always beautiful.
That each season of life
brings different weather.
The flowers don't have to
be blooming year round
for our surroundings
to be full of color.
Transformation
does not have to be
growth to be necessary.

I once had
a beautiful voice
and you asked me
why I no longer sing.
I turned to you
and quietly replied
"because I was a bird,
and you clipped my wings."

We are but a breath
in the lungs of the universe,
a beat in the heart of life,
a blink in the eyes of our ancestors,
a shooting star in the darkness of night.

I've grown a new layer of skin
in just less than two months
I now have an exterior shell
protecting me from reminders
of the pain that lies underneath
protecting others from the discomfort
of witnessing a mental breakdown
Now it's harder to feel
and when a crack begins to spread
I'm quick to patch it up
because it's easier to swallow my words
than to speak them through tears.

Every day at nightfall
the sun sets herself on fire
in an immaculate public display of affection.
Vibrantly glowing in shades of vermillion
before vanishing beyond the horizon,
surrendering the day to the darkness of night.

Her departure, a self sacrifice,
generously offering her light so that
the moon may shine so brightly.

I lit myself on fire
burned my life to the ground
and overnight it vanished
without making a sound.

Could you be a vehicle?
To take me from once in the past, to right here
right now.
A vehicle,
to take me on an adventure
waking me up, making me feel alive.
Stir the soul within me, who has been sleeping
restlessly, at least…
Would you be the vehicle,
that transports me away from earth?
Because I’m tired of being grounded.
I want to live in the sky, with the stars
And look for miles, and see it all

as of late my dreams disturbed
by things unseen and things unheard
in waking life fears are suppressed
but as I sleep they all undress

poetry runs like blood through my veins
words strung together to emote beauty
or pain, a beautiful necklace wrapped
tightly around my throat, the things
I'm dying to say dripping from
the tip of my tongue. Honey or poison,
both sticking to my gritted teeth,
unable to escape and create
the beautiful poetry
bleeding on the page

No matter the expression
across my lonely face
know that underneath
I feel out of place.
There's an ocean of lava
crashing against my shell
boiling up inside
this small version of hell
caught within my lungs
so I can hardly breathe
afraid if any leaks
you'll turn around and leave.

I woke up
a year ago today
innocent
unknowing
And went to bed
broken and heavy as stone.
They say that when
you lose someone
that day is forever
the end of your old life
and the beginning of the new one,
the life without.
Each day learning
how to cope with
the gaping hole
that was once filled with her.

in waking life we are well fabricated lies,
personas perfectly tailored to the world's expectations.
it is when we sleep that we know our true selves;
our innermost fears and desires, the intricate complexities
of our daily lives woven into an elaborate metaphor
left for us to decipher. these cinematic masterpieces of the mind
often leave us with more questions than answers.
but every now and then, the subconscious realm leaves us a crystal clear message impossible to ignore.

I won't sit down
I won't shut up
To be quite honest
I'm fed up.
I have a voice,
I will be heard
And when I speak,
you'll wait your turn.
I may be small,
but my thoughts are loud.
My words have power,
of that I'm proud.

I wear your heart
on my heart
and your pain
also belongs to me.
When you begin to cry,
look up at me
and I too will have tears
staining my cheeks.
When life feels too heavy
please know I will be there
to lift you up if you fall.

And when a smile
creeps across your face
and laughter escapes your lips,
you better believe
I'm wearing a grin to match.

She shook her box of puzzle pieces and said,
“There’s some missing. But I still put it together sometimes,
And pretend that it’s still all there.”

such a mixed up,
messed up soul
murky eyes full
of hearts she stole
with empty hands
she gives her all
seeking the climb
so she feels the fall

She’s not the only one, she knows there’s others out there
People like her
who have the ability to appear,
To come out of the woodwork, waiting just below the surface
for the perfect moment to
attack, to attach, get what they need…
While everyone else goes around calling them monsters,
so they live that way, it becomes a game.

two heavy feet
standing square
upon my chest
I can't breathe
I can't scream
that's what it's like
to be a doormat
to be a set of stairs
always helping
someone else
get to where they need to be
Never thought about
what was in it for me

There is a quiet, heavy feeling in the air.
A tension between us loaded with distrust and anger, selfishness and disappointment.
I begin to wonder if you feel it too...
the space between us growing wider.
Do you wonder if it's over? Or do you know that it's over, but are afraid to let go?
It's ok if you are, because I am too. I'm afraid.

There was always something between them
even if later they might say other wise.
From day one their souls forged a connection
and for years they would wander in and out
of each others lives, always disrupting
each time leaving a larger hole.
The last time they spoke, she severed ties
but to cut him out was to cut out a piece of herself
a large portion of her heart, and rib cage
her left shoulder and her trust in men.
He on the other hand, was left with no heart
because she had stolen it six years ago
and he never even noticed it was gone.

Very small and hardly seen
Fens are where you've always been
seeking sedges for you to eat
lay eggs, feed, metamorphosis, repeat.
Without care and conservation,
we will destroy fen feeding and breeding stations
and so we also lose the few
Mitchell's Satyr butterflies too

constant contradictions
harsh words with a gentle kiss
cold eyes with a playful touch
a short fuse with tender love
always in defense mode
ready to attack, to attach
to a tone or a word misspoken
and my skin is thin
and my heart easily broken
yet I build makeshift armor
and pretend to be a hero
while you build and destroy walls
and you swear that you
love, love, love me

a black hole has a gravitational pull
so strong, nothing can escape
the day your mother gave up on you
was the day half of your heart collapsed
sending yourself into a supernova
for a decade or so,
devouring everything in your path
destroying everything you couldn't have
becoming a stellar black hole yourself
and I was a light, a star to guide you home
the gravity that pulled me in
will now consume me
disappearing on the event horizon

Never had a chance to hold
to be held, or to be told
Never had a chance to say
and soon you will be far away
All the things I'll never know
I must find a way to let them go

I was made from the same batch
and everyone was cut into cookies
fun shapes, all different sizes
and the leftover pieces
took no shape at all
and so I didn't get to join them
in their journey to become
what they truly are.

I'm drowning
in a mass of asphalt
blinking lights and broken buildings
Monotone voices, mindless drivers
woken up only by perceived interference
in their trip from point A to point B
The trip they make everyday
a life that rips their cares away
one by one we all fall down
underneath the weight of expectation, obligation
pushed and squeezed into a tight little box
I won't let this be me
I won't let you take every last shred of hope within me
I may be sad, I may be angry
but I will not become the mindless robot
that has multiplied within the bounds of this city
This city cannot take me
It will not eat me alive

It hangs in the air. It’s stifling. We carry it in our hearts. It’s heavy.
We grieve the missing pieces, but also the empty spaces they belong to.
The parts of ourselves with muscle memories that no longer have a purpose. Parts of ourselves that become inaccessible, and try as we might, we can never enter that space again.

How do you hold a hand that isn’t there?

the soul inside of me
is growing far too big
for my body

I want a night with you, alone
no devices or distractions
full attention, nothing to preoccupy our minds,
our hearts entirely focused
just you and me
slow dancing in the dark.

They said my anger
was cold and distant
like a far reaching planet
I didn't understand
until I felt the heat
bubbling underneath
I felt it and I left it
and as time passed
the lava flow within
hardened into rock
cool, dark, volcanic rock
A permanent landmark
quietly intimidating
those who dare come close

I can paint my story
all colors, shapes, and hues
with sunny yellows, bleeding reds,
and most royal of the blues
These shades won't need explanation
each one speaking on it's own
Just watch my story unfold
and see how much I've grown.

If I pulled up a chair,
could I sit with myself?

twice now I've kissed you
deep within my dreams
and in that world it feels so real
but it's not all what it seems
I will replay those moments
in fear that they will fade
I will keep them like memories
that my heart has made

Saying goodbye to Holly
the best neighbor two kids trying
to move up in the world could have.

goodbye to four years
in the same house I spent
so much time in as a kid,
learning what life is
and what mistakes are.

goodbye to a neighborhood
I watched turn fear into love,
even though I still had
to lock my doors at night.

goodbye to the apartment
I came home to after
a full day of classes,
a long shift at the bar,
a session in the painting studio.

goodbye to a house
that belonged in it's place
since it was built over a century ago.

goodbye to a home
the home that comforted me
as I faced the toughest part of growing up
the home that nearly drove us apart
but in reality it had kept us together.