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I have a special interest in telling about my colonoscopy.
The doc cheerful, secure in his specialty, colon cancer being
the second leading cause of cancer death after lung tumors.
They can snip the precancerous polyps right out of you during the test.
At first the doc gave me the statistics but having paid 25 bucks for this
      interview
I decided to make him explain the science. He was most comfortable
describing the physical architecture of adenomatous v. hyperplastic
      polyps
but what about cell structure I said. He was vague about genes and
      hormones,
I could have been chatting with an Electrolux salesman.
I wasn’t worried although my *** was burning.
Everybody dies, everybody, even Whitman and Emerson, so I browse
      models for dying—
mine are middlebrow, saddlebow—John Wayne in The Shootist, Paul
      Newman in Hombre—or hagiography
Plath her head stuck in an oven, Hemingway who ate his shotgun.
Anyway I was upbeat flirting with the nurse, a muse who has seen it all
      before,
acting tough, which isn’t actually an act
you do your prep and say your prayers.
I thought I’d be in and out **** as you probably already know
the prep for this procedure is worthy of Gandhi. A day of fasting,
clear fluids only, and constant voiding.
You arrive at the hospital one spiritual chicken.
I reflected it can’t hurt, lose a little weight, remember who you are
without so much **** and flesh between you and the natural world.
Snipping polyps is like taking electrons to a lower quantum energy level,
      nearer the nucleus, with fasting and ****** abstinence.
The art of total presence and abstinence, dependence on the Other for
      future existence.
Silence is a weird thing
Too much can make a man crazy
Too little could do the same

Yet here I sit in silence
Dreading the past
And forgetting the present

But what about the future you ask?
Why worry of what’s next
Why plan a next step

To live is to die
I accept the moment for what is
Which is grateful for what was

I have no code to myself
Just a rule or two
Mostly rewritten

So go ahead and cry today
Save your energy for what may
And try to save your pity
Jellyfish Apr 16
I have value
It comes from within,
I know it's enough
I feel it under my skin.

It vibrates from me,
The power I hold
I'm special,
I'm something to behold.

I know I'm sensitive
It's something I used to hate
But now I'm embracing it,
There's a reason I'm this way.

So I stick to my routine,
I don't want to give up
I may fall down at times,
But I will not get stuck.
Glenn Currier Mar 25
When I stop
I notice your unwavering presence
your persistence surprises me
because I neglect you.
Lovers don’t do that.

In my dreams you are there
passing through my imagination
like a genie yearning to gift me.
Your stories teach me about your desire
to interrupt my ordinary.
I even remember a few of your tales
and try to figure out what they mean
for my dull self.

I know. You don’t like me discounting my self
because when I do so
I discount you my precious one
and the awesome power of your love.

Inspire me today
a day of needed and neglected work.

You are here my love
in every fiber of my body
every impulse of my mind.

I will dive into the river of your compassion
and be refreshed by it.
Jeremy Betts Feb 7
There's a darkness in me
I mean, probably only figuratively
We'll have to wait and see
Seven masks of sin but one entity
All splitting a single fractured personality
Head spins wildly
I've searched quietly
I've asked loudly
I've had to cry and scream internally
Keeping it caged and locked inside has caused me to break down repeatedly
No outcome that I've found is a guarantee
So, I guess it's a guaranteed mystery
Of course it is, fuuck me...
Something that quite possibly will only make sense to me in a different plane of reality
...uh...that doesn't help at all actually
Hopeless is often a stand-in for the elusive positivity
It comes along so rarely one could hardly be blamed for questioning the authenticity
Then there's this two way brutality
It devours not because it's hungry but because it's so god daamn greedy
I'm not suppose to let it out of me
I'm told this as I feel it under my skin ripping up the already dilapidated basic human anatomy
This is a one man operation so it breaks out occasionally
But the goal though, if it were to ever be left up to me, my preferred destiny
The socially dreaded monotony
I embrace it knowing it will never be enough to right such a severe mental instability
Didn't think it was destined to be a doomed mission but maybe it was done vainly
It's not easily put into words but it feels like thievery
It's stolen chunks of life from me and didn't have the decency to even leave me a silver hair sliver of a memory
Turned me into a mockery of Jeremy
Right back to the old me
My own worst enemy
A part I've played so absolute I almost destroyed me
I've explained it to me slowly
Barley made it this far and the next 40,
They're looking to be just as iffy
Half devils reject, half whatever you see
Sprinkle in a little lie here and there as a preserve for longevity
Worry about it later, only if it bites me
100% broken but realistically only maybe half evil so, you know, 333

©2024
I don't believe you when you say
that your hands are tied.

I don't believe you when you say
that your hands don't have holes in them.

That the sand doesn't slowly pour out through the cracks between your fingers.

...

𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯...

when you asked me
to hand you my soul,

that the depths of its love,
your hands, 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱.

...

▪︎ mica light ▪︎
Carlo C Gomez Dec 2023
windowless day,
particles of strange salt on his brow,
generator man
on the coil,
double-sided,
a love for radioactive honey:
a storm in a teacup...

but for some reason
could not reciprocate
due to the metallic taste in his mouth,
and so he seemed driven
to build his electrical dream,
and took comfort from his pigeons,
the “lightning machine,”
the hair on his head bristled
as he discovered his purpose
in rings of glory that died
as flags of dust...
Fallout from nuclear bomb tests in the 1950s and '60s is still showing up in U.S. honey, according to a study in 2021. Although the levels of radioactivity aren't dangerous, they may have been much higher in the 1970s and '80s, researchers say.
Nyx Dec 2023
Deep within the pit
Front and centre to the stage
Music blasting around you
Your mind starts to engage

Time slows around you
Forgetting your in a crowd
You feel your heart pumping in your chest
The surroundings no longer loud

Feeling like your soul is being lifted
higher up and up into the sky
The colours flooding your atmosphere
You feel as if you can fly

Sweat beading in your hands
Temperature on your skin is rising
hands wrapped around your waist
Spirits are energizing

You tune into the music there
Surrounding you with its soul
I never realized it before
How the rhythm can make you feel so whole

The exhilarating feeling
the rush that it entails
Hooked on this version of me
That is free to go off the rails

Run Free, Be Free
Everything in my soul is Free.
The taste of being this new untamed version,
The Freedom of being truly me

Euphoric
Nobody Nov 2023
The whole worlds a stage
the whole world as your prey
and there you’ll watch
and there you sit and wait.

Go back to the hell where you came
you’ll never take it
you can’t have this flame.

But you can try
you can try
and blind their eyes
and watch their back
and rip em apart
and make yourself laugh.

Set em on fire
force the air so cold
smile while they burn
smile while they freeze
wanna watch em fold
wanna watch em bleed
wanna hear em cry
wanna see their spirit die.

But you won't
you won't have it.
Go back to the hell where you came
you’ll never take it
you'll never take this flame.
This is written as a song probably.
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