affection has an expiration date.
becomes affliction,
turns sour like 4 month old whole milk.

love is always past due.
thrown away fresh out the oven,
now hogged during family dinner.

take what can only be given.
nothing can be given.
only take. it expires.

place your bets.
I gallop on a hamster wheel
only I know where I go.

silence is my worst punishment.
put me on death row
i’ll give you everything
put on a show.

sit beside me, lie still
let the emptiness fill
and I just might die.

silence is my worst punishment.
why am I rewarded for it?

cry to be heard.
shout to be silent.

I never thought
the words you’d say
would be someone else’s

your smiles, lies
open ended promises,
love turned disguises,
heartache and prizes.

last words said too late.
new ones said so early.

i’m beginning to think
your love for me was
just you in a hurry—

destination: her.
me, nothing but her seat warmer.

my blood
consists of notes and tones
lyrics and bones
crushed up metals and nodes

my blood circulates,
in and out of my headphones.
looses control with a let go.
“let go” the song yells, “let go”.

i know what i have to do
but let me just
hold on—
to stories that play out.
tip toe on the lyrics.
dance to the bass.
drown in the synth.
clash to the symbols.
trap myself within the strings.

my blood plays red.
the songs circulate blood to my head.

songs put together—
made
to bring my heart home.
you see,
she’s lost.

she’s lost in my mind.
songs take her home,
takes her back to the past
of something that did not last.

doors open when the words ring
bring her, bring
her back to me.

I no longer want to feel
incomplete.