Ladies and gentleman skinny and scout
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about
The admission is free so pay at the door
Now pull out a chair and sit on the floor

On one bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

The blind man came to see fair play
The mute man came to shout hooray
The deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to stop those two dead boys

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block
In a two story house on a vacant lot
A man with no legs came walking by
And kicked the lawman in his thigh

He crashed through a wall without making a sound
Into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned
A long black hearse came to cart him away
But he ran for his life and is still gone today

I watched from the corner of the table
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable
If you doubt my lies are true
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too

Rain water soaks us
Runny mascara, but you still think I'm beautiful
Lips so soft
Lips so sweet
We're pressed up against each other
Bare chest to bare chest
You on top
Me on bottom
Hips locked in place with the other
Warm soft sweet lips slowly caressing my body, my lips and my neck you **** on
Soft gentle hands caress my ******* thoughtfully
Finally, her lips reach my thighs, I, trembling with lust and fear
I was scared and she knew it
Her hands and lips touched me
*So softly, so gently

One more day
One more chance
Say the word and we'll have this dance

My confusion troubles me
My wondering depresses me
And my knowledge grows heavily
And the icing on that cake is everything I hate about me

Pure
             In it's
                        Physique.
Beauty is the same.


            Just
                       Like
                                    Me.

It's no real smile,
but it's better than a real frown

There are things that are forbidden
The small black box in the darkest corner of my mind is forbidden
Things, bad things are in that box
It's locked
And it must be for good reason
There could be a thousand lifetimes my soul has lived in that box
Or it could be old memories best forgotten
I don't know, and I may never know
All I know it that that box is forbidden
And I don't have the key
I don't know where it is or where to begin to look for it
*And my feelings tell me that the key is just as forbidden too

It was just a pronoun
It was just a mistake
I didn't mean to call you the gender people thought you to be
I'm still going through the change
I absolutely did not mean it
I meant to call you she
Not he
I know what you are now
You're a woman
Stuck in a man's body

It's hard to talk on the phone
Can't quite focus on what they're saying
Stuttering and stammering for words
At loss for what to say
Then you have the words again
You say the words you mean to say
They come out sounding weak and jagged,
Meek and lame
And you feel useless in the department of speaking
Your heart beats and jumps wildly at the attention you never wanted, the attention that seems to put an untold amount of pressure and judgement upon you
You never feel like talking again, except to maybe voice an opinion someone might actually care about
You panic when someone new talks to you
Heart thumping madly to get out of your chest, telling you to get out of this situation

This is not a cold, not the flu
Not something you can get over too

I'm afraid of myself because of what I might do
I am afraid of myself because of what I can't have
I am afraid of how I will do
And how I will do it too
*I am afraid of everything
I just won't let you see

Hands delve deep in damp shadows
Even in slumber you drive my body insane
My body remembers you well
It's kept all memories of you so clear in it's senses
It misses you so dearly
I do miss you too, clearly
All this wetness is unnecessary
And this need for you, and only you, to myself is oh so scary
You whisper it's me you want to marry...
I woke up out the dream
Wondering what was wrong with me
I was warm and full of need
All I could think about is how much I wanted her to come pamper this *****

Men so heartless ruled the earth for many years
And still today heartless and soulless men claim their hands are free of blood when it's on every inch of their body, and still they control us

Why do men so heartless hold the power with their pride?
Why do the weak have more heart than the strong and heartless?

*I have to be heartless to be strong
Or
Have the most heart and be weak

Hate is hate
It's a trap of fate
It's a thing that takes
And it takes everything
It corrupts the roots to the ends
It covers every thing with its hand
And it blatantly takes stand
Taking up every bit of light and love with its shadows of darkness

Sitting on the bathroom floor with a gun in your hand
Knees pulled up to your chest
Your head rests on your knees
Your shoulders shaking cause you're laughing and crying
Gun to the side of your head
"Are you gonna do it?"
Find the sweet release when the bullet leaves the barrel of the gun and enters your brain

Click

The gun's empty
I am not dying
The gun's unloaded
I do this every time
Never strong enough to take the bullet
And never strong enough to let anyone see me like this
Always weak enough to be messed up like this
*Always thinking, always wishing I put a bullet in

Corrupted thoughts and dreams turns whispers into screams
But reality
Oh how reality turns screams into whispers that corrupt and drain
Drain innocence left behind
Uses every bit of breath to corrupt good hearts, good minds, good starts
Screams to whispers
Whispers to screams
Corrupts our hearts
Corrupts our subconscious and dreams

Just breathe
If you can't do anything else
Just breathe
Even if I have to do it for you
Just breathe

I wonder how many times I have to say
*That I'm not you, okay?

Don't be fooled by these **** offs that you're their gold.

"Go ahead be a snitch
You'll get more than one stitch
This time, *****."

How can you be king if no one is loyal to you?
How can you get loyalty if you don't give it.

Don't judge my outer shell
Don't judge the marks or scars on my skin
Don't judge the look in my eyes as you spit the words of sin
Don't sear your judgements in my brain
Yeah ok, you think I'm insane
I hope you know that this inner pain does it
The pain you cause and from many others
So don't judge the tears that stream down my face
Sad angels cry the most
An angel as sad as I deserves to let these tears fall
So don't judge my outer shell
Don't judge it at all
Don't say I'm mental and insane
You don't know what has happened to me or what I've been through
So don't judge my outer shell
Till you've looked within me
Maybe then you'd see why I'm like this
Maybe then this will shatter your killing spree

There will always be someone who's greedy
Who will do wrong just to fill it
Greed can never be filled, it can never be satisfied or sated
It will always be a gapping neverendding hole that demands to be filled with empty things
Greed will take anything
Money, drugs, ***, power
Anything
It won't ever be filled
No matter how much you give
It will always take up everything
*It will even take your soul

I watch and listen to you sing just to feel the harmony and see the feelings on your face when you sing

I'd rather be rude by staying silent
Than be rude by saying something

I'd rather be rude by telling the truth
Than to be rude by telling lies

I'd rather be rude by not giving you a hug
Than to be rude by punching you in the face

I'd rather be rude by cutting conversations with you
Than to be rude by telling what I really feel about you

I'd rather give out tight politeness
Than to be loosely rude

I'd rather be this,
don't you agree uncle?

I may be young, but I know what ******* is
I know what it looks like
I know what it sounds like
And I know what it smells like

Parents act like they've never been children
Just like teachers act like they've never been students.

You call me a stubborn child like it's a bad thing
But have you ever asked yourself where I got it from?
I probably got it from you
You're ******* stubborn too

I train my throat,
To take the smoke
But not to make these lyrics dope
Though I'm here to stay as I hoped
I'll smoke ya spirits and hope you choke

Once it's over it's easier to act like they never existed or even happened.

My life is a rollercoaster it keeps going down without ever going up
*My life is a ride to hell because of you

I support gay people
I am also pansexual
Won't you do the day of silence too?

I wish I had a life's moments eraser
To erase all the bad moments from others memories
But I would like to keep them in mine
They give me humility
They give me the charm and qualities I have now

I wish I were beautiful
So that I could not be so nervous when I talk to people

I wish I were a better writer
So that I could be famous for it

I wish I were a better vocalist and that I were musically talented
I can sing already I just want to be better

But I'm the exact opposite
I can't erase my bad moments
I'm not beautiful
And I'm an alright writer, I'm just not the best of them
I can sing good, but I'm just not great

*But I wish most of all to be able to have children someday

Now that I'm left unwanted again
I'm left wondering out of boredom
If a person really needs to be wanted

Wake me up before I die
Slap my face before I lie
When will you ever see
I could never be what you want me to be
Look through your own eyes
Seek through your dead lies
Say your last goodbyes
When you wake me before I die
And for the very last time tell me that you love me as I sigh my last breath of life

My thoughts invisible
My words invisible until I put ink to paper
And even then they're still invisible
They're invisible to the people who can't read the meaning between the lines and the space between the words and letters
Sometimes they're invisible to me
Until after I read it myself
I can feel what other people mean when they write a poem or a story
I can imagine the imaginary happenings of a poem or story
I can hear the silent screams and see the useless scratches and crawls
I can see the darkness or the brightness of everything imagined
Everything invisible
The words you really want to say invisible
The actions you really want to take invisible
Everything invisible
Everything you don't do invisible to everyone except you
Everything I won't write burned into my mind until it hits pen to paper
Until it visible to everyone
You will never forget the visible nothings you did
You will never forget the invisible somethings you should have done

I wish I could drink my pain away(alcohol)
I wish I could inhale the happiness by smoking this plant (marijuana)
I wish I had a bottle of pills to **** all my pain(painkillers)
I wish I could let you rock my world till it's insane(Amazing *** ~)
I wish I knew who to blame
I keep wishing for the same thing
I thought if I wished and hoped hard enough the pain could just go away(I tried I tried to make it go away)
But honestly everyone should be wishing for a reason for me to stay

"I can't take it anymore" I said
"I hear the voices, I hear them scream"
"What voices?" he said
"There aren't any voices. Only you and I are here."
I look up
"The voices are too much for me." I said

Next thing I know I'm in an asylum
"What are the voices saying?" they ask
"They're saying everything." I whisper
Then they scream and I fall to my knees and scream with them
The screaming voices are my silent screams

I realized the only place I was looking for beauty was in the mirror
I looked in my heart and saw I was ugly there too
I saw something just as bad in my heart
**A mirror...

I mean a lot to people, but I don't mean a lot to me....

I'm sitting at the edge of the cliff
Just watching
Just waiting
I'm sitting as the ocean throws itself against the rocks, spraying me
I wait
I wait for something
No
I wait for nothing

I'm sitting on the edge of the cliff
Sliding off the edge I'm gonna let this small nothing happen
I'm gonna have this small nothing be gone in a whisper*
*Just never miss me
Just never whimper

Stay a little longer
You can cry and wrap your arms around me as I hold you in mine
After you're done tell me your life's story under the night's stars
And wait for the earth to turn the day's sun towards us again
You can't stay forever
But you can stay a little longer
You can be away from your troubles,
your insecurities,
your pain,
your everything
And just be comfortable being you with me
Let me into the real you
Just for a little longer
In your heart and in your soul
Just let me stay a little longer
And I'll let you stay in mines a little longer too

A meek and drake thing?
Honey please, don't make me laugh too hard
That little chuckle was great
My newfound confidence came from the single life baby
My life is better without you
Your life is better without mine
Need to stop bickering before we get fined
I know I ain't gotta love you
And in all honesty, you didn't teach me anything I didn't already know
But, look at the positive note,
I did say that you were the most effective teacher though

I think you're beautiful
Your curvy body
The body I want to touch so gently
You hate your curves
The curves I love so much

I love your face
Even with all the blemishes
Your face is so beautiful
But you hate your face because of the blemishes

I love your **** and hips
Because they're a part of you
You hate them, but I don't know why
Sometimes I wish I could hug and kiss you so much that you wouldn't hate yourself anymore

Where you hate yourself I love
Where you love yourself I love even more

I see your beauty
Why can't you?

I guess I am the beholder of your beauty

You are the beauty in my eye of the beholder

I have all this music in my head,
With no knowledge on how to get it out of my mind.

I can barely move
I can barely talk
I can't breathe when I'm this way
It's gotten worse
And it happens more often
I'm paralyzed in a nightmarish dream and I come out gasping
I smile in the beginnings
because it tries to pull me under and can't
But after a while it wins and pulls me under
I fight
I try to move, but all I get is a bit of shaking
And I try to talk or scream, but all I get is a short puffed out breath
I try to breathe more, but I hyperventilate
I half wake up from it to try to get free, but it pulls me under and smiles at me

Remind me of the beauty you had
You're not the girl I tried to convince myself to love
Yeah, *****, you getting terrible
I like it, and I love it
But I hate it and dislike it
I expected you to be a better person

But, you know
You said your purpose was to disappoint

When we meet
I want to look beautiful
When we meet I want it to be perfect
When we meet
I want to stay up all night watching movies and talk all night, and I want to fall asleep in your arms
When we meet
I want to fall in love all over again
When we meet I'm hoping to be more confident
*When we meet
I'm hoping I will come alive again
I'm hoping I'll be all you want and need

The sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe

Tear stained face
Blood shot eyes
Blood stained arms and legs

Destroying yourself is so easy it hurts

Hands are too slippery for the razor you try to hold
Blood turns brown as it dries
Trying to clean up the bathroom floor and sink so it's not so obvious
Nothing works
The razor can only make it better as it eats into your skin

*My legs are dangling off the edge, stomach full of pills that didn't work again.
Gone too far, yeah I'm gone again. It's gone on too long, I'll tell you how it ends. I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends. One's a bottle of pills and one's a bottle of gin. My frienemy's behind me, and his name is sin.