Thou art my creator
Not to mention, my first teacher
From you, have I learned so much
That it has made me rich
Not in terms of wealth
But in terms of character
Always, have you kept me in good health
And assuaged my doubts and fears
To the greatest extent possible
Thanks to you, do I really believe nothing is impossible!

Thou art my creator
There is so much you have to bear
In order to keep me happy
While I often get snappy
Certainly, have I not been the best son
However, rarely have you been wrong
Always, have you been there for me
Constantly coaxing and cajoling
Scolding and admonishing
And finally
Encouraging and praising!!

Thou art my creator
To me, are you extremely dear
The perfect example of unconditional love
However, at the same time
Rarely have you treated me with kid gloves
Many a time, have you taken the blame
For mistakes I have made
Nevertheless, you are the main reason
For me having a strong sense of right and wrong
You are my moral compass
And whenever there is something amiss
You point me in the right direction
Equally important, are your words of caution!!

Thou art my creator
Not just a mother
But also a friend for life
And my strongest companion in times of strife
With me, have you sometimes been patient to the extreme
You are the beam
Of light that surrounds me from all sides
And ensures I never fade
Often, have you been a mixture of strict and lenient
Sometimes, downright blunt
But you can also be exceedingly sweet
All in all, as a parent
Quite hard are you, to beat!!

Thou art my creator
And quite a colourful character
You are the most precious person
In my entire life
From you, have I learned the most important lessons
Thanks to you, have I been able to ride the rough
And ultimately emerge successful
Finally, I love you above one and all
May God bless you
With loads of love, happiness and peace!!

I grew up in a house of closed doors and retreating footsteps, so light I wondered if anyone was even there. A house of ghosts, defined by a thick layer of dust on the couches, and doorbells that were never answered.

I grew up in a house of silence, the only signs of life: coffee mugs in the sink, and leftover crumbs on the kitchen counter. Silence so palpable it wraps itself around my throat until it becomes comforting. The microwave cannot reach zero here.

Birds chirp incessantly on Sunday mornings, and the weight of their music sits heavily on my chest. Plants reach for a slab of sunlight trickling between dusty window shades. I can hear their leaves straining, and I want to tell them to stop.

A patch of sunlight reaches the floor, and my cat purrs loudly and unforgivably in it's warmth. Sitting at the edge of my bed, there are hushed footsteps down the hallway, a door softly shuts, the silence is broken.

My throat tightens, and I shrink away from the light. To be unseen and unheard here is to be safe. There are five ghosts in this house, and I am one of them.

The biggest taboo

is of course, ouch, your parents' --


sexuality.

Family demands

obedience, love isn't --


invulnerable.

Will I then remain

a child, showing my parents --


my abilities?

Peter (my bf) had to fly,
was that just last night?
I have attachment issues.
I hate saying goodbye
- it always makes me cry
an embarrassing tear or two.

Holidays go so fast
relativity’s been proven at last!
Fourteen days of leisure
of sordid intertwined pleasures
on days free of study pressures.

This morning i was in despair
splayed out on an uncomfortable chair
with tangled, unbrushed hair
wearing faded PowerPuff underwear
bored, and wishing Peter was there.

I blame my parents for being afraid
for teaching me every sharp edge of the world
and learning I might never be safe

I blame my parents for being lonely
for missing people I never had
and I know will never hold me

I blame my parents for the sleepless nights
for wondering if I will ever get it right
or one day wish I could go back in time

I blame my parents
because they are my parents
and I can blame them
for who I turned out to be

But when they are gone
and all I have are memories
I’ll just blame them
for leaving me.

These are confessions I can never send.
Because they blatantly won't understand
and that is something I need to get,
They don't care for me enough to accept the ways they hurt me and say sorry.

They are hypocrites,
Because they want me to stay weary.
They want me to always let go and cry alone.
They don't care if around them I'm woeful.

Mom,
You always said I was in the wrong,
Cleaning and chores were our only "bond"
You never chose me unless you could brag.

Dad,
You broke my heart,
You'd catch me when I'd fall
But never stuck up for me in the end.  

Mom chooses to make me a villain,
All I wanted was her acceptance
but she sees me as a sinner who's selfish,
I should put my pain aside and pretend I'm good.

I will be left to wonder forever,
Why my pain doesn't matter
In comparison to my sister,
Why am I less accepted when I'm in pain?

Dad loves me because he sees himself in me.
I look like him, we share a hobby
but growing up I believed that was the only thing he loved about me
Because one moment he'd be there, but would runaway when I needed him most.

Alone, he would listen,
He would say he'd help me
But in front my mom he was different.
Suddenly, what we said in the car was insignificant.

I'm an adult who doesn't know her needs, wants, and likes
Because I spent my life trying to be accepted.
No one taught me how to accept myself,
Or how to know what I need or want.

If someone cared unconditionally,
I clinged to them.
I hoped they'd never leave,
because I never got that from my family.

Now I'm in therapy, crying in every session
That I'm hurt again because of them,
Or hurt by myself because
I don't know who I am.

You’re right—
I’m just making excuses.
Why am I so 𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥
All of the time?

“You get more sleep
Than 99 percent
Of your friends,”
You said.

So doesn’t that mean
I am supposed to be
Happy?

“Be happy,”
I say to myself
In my head.

I am supposed to be
Fine.

But I am not,
And all I have left
Is excuses.

And yet,
Why do I look for more?

I want somebody
To tell me
That you are not right.

But I know you are.