You declare you care.
Still, you’re never really here.
I deserve better.

Sometimes I hate me.
Always my own worst critic.
Don’t forget, love you!

Nightmares are always there
Behind my eyes, everywhere.
They are not fictional;
Nor are they mystical.
They have no dungeon-lair.

Nightmares each time I sleep
In my mind, they lurk and creep.
Suffocatingly real;
Non-fiction ordeals.
Too much to bear, awake I weep.

Cold and distant are adjectives used to describe me.
Misunderstandings cause pain to myself and to others.
Others perceptions are impossible to adjust
while pleading my case simply results in mistrust.

Sensitive and boring always sound so negative.
Sensitivity contains my observations and drives my compassion.
Simplicity keeps me grounded and allows me to remain rock-solid.
This combination is pivotal in relationships
As my responsibility and reliability will not slip.

Pessimism and sarcasm are a double-edged sword.
My realistic outlook influences misconceptions about hope.
My humor allows self-sharing without fear of being hurt.
I understand events happen and life is hard
And even knowing this I get through unscarred.

Adoring and analytical are my preferred descriptors.
The word Loving falls short at capturing the depth of my heart for those close.
I cannot avoid analyzing people and my surroundings
But alas most find all this to be extremely confounding.

A disappointment;
I am a true annoyance.
I apologize.

Ice Queen, they call her for her heart is too far.
They search far and wide for evidence of her heart, all to no avail.
For Ice Queen is her name and breaking hearts is her game.

“Why, oh why, my dear Queen must you throw up walls?” They puzzle forlorn.
The Ice Queen hastily explains,
“The jagged ice spikes keep out all the mild and meek.
Those lacking strength are sure to freeze under winters thumb!”