I want more than this,
I want more than just a kiss,
more than momentary belonging,
more than texting here and there just for your quick fix!

You see I'm tired of succumbing to your needs,
when all I want and need from you is to see beyond my body,
I want to feel protected like packaged candy

I want to wake up next to you breathing,
kiss your lips, let you whisper into my ears, how you missed me while you were busy dreaming.

I guess it doesn't matter because at the end of the day your need is not my want.

It has been almost a month since we slept on the same bed, shared a meal on the same plate, forgotten about the pains and focused on the laughter's instead.

It has been almost a  month now since I felt the touch of your hand, massaged the back of you neck, uttered a word or two to you, how I miss making love to you...

I know these are simple words, but you and I both know that we created a world of our own, which has now fallen into an abyss of storms, lost souls wandering around wondering where did we go wrong?

There are so many words I can use to describe the love on its own, but nothing can compare to the profound experience we went through, the emotions, the thrill of it all.

All I can say is that I still miss you, I sometimes don't know what to do, but cry, weep or fall in a state of numbness, I guess it'll probably take another year or years to get over you.

How can you say we are soulmates,
yet the pain inside my heart is hard for you to comprehend.

I've been going through a long battle with my mind.
You see its so hard to wake up everyday with a visage, when everything seems to be boiling up inside.
I'm filled with so much anger yet I don't know why.
There's so much beauty in life and yet I struggle each day to see  through these clouds weighing down on me.
I feel like I can't breathe yet I'm trying so hard to stop myself from drowning.
These suicidal thoughts have a way of finding its path through these cracked scars in between my soul and heart,
an ongoing battle of self love to self hate.
I have never been this lonely in my life,
yet the very same man whose heart is mine and mine his,
doesn't see beyond this broken being.
I can't do it anymore.

Dear Friend,
Dear brother,
Dear sister,
Dear Mother
Dear Father
Dear son
Dear Daughter
Dear Grandmother
Dear Grandfather
Dear you whose compass has lead to this note,
This is no ordinary letter,
Its a word or two to encourage you.
I may have never danced in your world,
or laid beside you to capture the dreams that are good,
or simply those that brought you hurt.

I may have never gotten the chance to take a glance at this beauty in front of me,
nor crossed paths with your eyes,
which personally I adore the most, how they say so much yet the world knows little of what comes from that beautiful mind of yours.

You see I write this to you because, I love you
and to know that someone you do not know of loves you the way I do, is the best feeling ever, because no one else in the world deserves LOVE more than you do, never ever forget that.

I hope that your hand, your eyes, the words that creep out of your mouth and spreads its wings like butterflies may meet with this simple  poem of mine,
and hopefully you and I can help spread the word of love to someone else as amazing as you are to me,
To inspire and heal a broken heart,
To bring about a sense of warmth within the hearts
because nothing matters to me than seeing you simply happy,
so smile, take joy in life,
there's nothing more profound than the breath of a new morning. Its a way of telling you that you deserve to be alive, that there is purpose in your life.

I am my mothers eyes,
brown, soft, loving and kind.
With a thousand stories to tell, she would lay me down in my cocoon, when I was young and little, look up with those bold eyes, "God are you listening?" she would ask, then a stretch of a smile would brush the sadness in  her eyes.
Why does God lie?
Why can't he/she be honest sometimes?
These are questions I always ask myself when I'm in deep contemplation about life.
I cry sometimes you know, when she lies in bed helplessly, knowing that someday, she'll lie there, still in peace, there'll be no more breath in her lungs.
Yesterday I cried again,
Feeding the pain inflicting me,
She texted me back "I'm doing okay, don't worry about me okay?"
How can I stop worrying?
when its all I can do,
hold my phone to my hand in stagnation,
so grateful that the one technological piece in my hand, is as close as I can get to you mom.
I know what I did was wrong,
moving out especially at a time you needed me the most.
I left you with pain and suffering,
and now I cant undo it because its made its way to your stomach, its killing your insides,
and all I can do is blame myself.
They say you'll never understand someones pain until you step into their shoes.
I wish I could do that. I wish I could step into your shoes and heal this disease that's trying to take you away from me.
God please if you're reading this, take your time to please return the promise you gave to me, the one you told me when I allowed you into my life, when I said I'm all yours and you mine.
Please don't take my mother away from me.
Not yet,
not until I've given her the best life she deserves