My heart aches.
I watch you walk away,
and I think,
This is it.
This is when I give up on love
forever.

I suppose I have always been the kind
to over-commit, to love too deeply.
I have always been the one left
after everyone else quits.
Always left standing alone in the rain
of my own tears.
Always.

I drive those I love away,
and destroy anything I hold dear.
Yet, it is not I, but the monster inside.
The monster is the real enemy,
but the monster is me so I suppose it is
I that am the monster.

Or maybe it is like you said;
We are just blaming the dark beast,
with no consideration of the fact that
we might be wrong for each other.
I don't buy that, though.
You are my best friend.
You are my only true friend.

I snap back to reality.
My thoughts, my perception returns,
and so do you.
You have not walked away, not yet.
I should know better.
I cannot trust my mind.

I try to imagine my life without you.
I try to imagine how alone I will be.
Maybe it is as alone as I am now,
but I'm certain it's more.
I'm certain I would be shaken to my center,
that I'd have my heart ripped from me.
I don't know if I can take it.

And just like that, my mind is made up.
If you must go, you must.
If I must be completely destroyed, fine.
But never again will I invest my heart in someone.
No matter what may happen,
I will never love again.
Never.

And forever and always
always
resolves to never.