Discovering all of the holes in my boat
changing channels, moving remote
wonder how far my legs can take me
ponder where i hid my hope
clinging then climbing
stimming then silent
i have anxiety that i wear like a backpack
i have meds that keep my grey train on track
tired of wildfires and thunderstorms
they say its natural you know?
that my autonomy is second hand
to the chemistry
its factual you know?
the cocktail of chemicals that ruminate
dispelling a flesh body’s gloomy state