I still remember.
The feeling of my heart exploding inside my chest with every thump.
I can remember my own emotions emptying into my body like acid
I just lay there and cry, ask “why”, moan and mump.
Never putting back together bits and pieces of my heart caused havoc
Emotional warfare. Back and forth.
She struck, I would strike.
So many half conscious actions to play her game when it too, degraded my worth
I was on a heart seek binge, for her love only, thinking, hoping one day it would be right
5 years later I decided to venture into my love-ridden heart and construct
Design a blueprint to reinvent my heart better than before
Even better than before all the scars, all the wrongs, all the obliteration
One that would convince my mind to make choices that were unconditional
If I’m to do it it’s because I would do it again and mean it each time
A heart that can be the guiding vessel I need everytime I’m losing course
Leading myself on a heart seek binge for my love only and a better love to come
I will remember