I successfully washed away
The worst parts of myself
And built a new life
Completely clean

But even though
I'm only a year away from
Having an entire body that you've never touched
That I have tattoos your lips have never seen
I created a self that you don't know

I can't get rid of you

And this life
So perfect
So precious
Seems lacking without you in it

I can't let you go
And I don't know why
What's worse?
Seeing you every once in a blue moon?
Or obsessing about how you're missing from this

This thing that I built to finally rid myself of you

I'm sick.
You're the cure.

I don't trust myself around you
How can the cure also be the poison
A fire that always burns
That could destroy my everything

I miss you. Please call.
You terrify me. Please don't call.