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6.1k · Jun 2016
Waterhell
woolgather Jun 2016
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
In a sea of regrets and torture.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
The anchor's too heavy.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
Hold my hand and lift me up.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
Just save me from my seas.
Dispirited am I,
To be myself and embrace the world.
Cut the threads of reality from my veins,
I am not worthy of this.
I am empathetic yet heartless.
I am mad and saddened.
Feel my walls slowly crumble,
Feel the cold blood gush from my veins,
I am dead to myself.
I am dead to myself.
I am dead to myself.
Nothing contains the darkness anymore;
It reeks everywhere I am.
This madman's too crazy to say those four letters.
Hop, rabbit, for the clock ticks faster than ever before.
Endless worries will flood your head.
Loop in a spiral of insanity,
Play the broken tunes you hid for too long.
Toyed are you too much
That tears never fall from your eyes no more,
Yet you still feel the pain.
Turn back to reality,
See the crumbling of You.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning.
See my body float in your despair.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
See my frozen heart shatter.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
Drain the murky waters.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
See me in moss and algae.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
Hell never felt so cold.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
Evergreen is the anchor that pins me to havoc.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
Let the ocean floor eat me alive.
I'm drowning, I'm drowning,
*Plague all with the decay of my soul.
hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help hell help  hell help hell help hell help hell help
4.9k · Aug 2017
Cold Coffee
woolgather Aug 2017
I'm a no one;
Just a stranger that happened to pass by,
Who made a silly mistake,
Yet you talked like we were meant to.

Just a peculiar case;
Talking random things,
That seem to mean nothing,
Yet made its way to be remembered.

A cathartic mess;
Leaving a note that said I'll leave,
Trying to forget how much it'd hurt;
You told me to come back.

Comfort;
Words that made me hold on,
Coming from the most unexpected person;
Maladroit.

Ecstasy;
Dancing with what you've said,
Somehow excruciatingly sweet;
Bitter.

Waiting;
Exhausted with nothing more to say,
Though wanting to talk;
Cold coffee.
I miss you

Even if I know you don't remember me
2.6k · May 2016
Runner
woolgather May 2016
Get in your feet!
Pick up the pace!
Run, Runner! Run, Runner!
Run, Runner! Run, Runner!

Move your feet one towards the other!
Don't let yourself be slaughtered!
Run, Runner! Run, Runner!
Run, Runner! Run, Runner!

Run, with your numbed legs!
Run, with your shortened breaths!
Run, run while you still can!
Run, Runner! Run, Runner!

Don't trip or tumble over!
Or else it'll be over!
Look straight ahead! Don't look back!
Run, Runner! Run, Runner!

Oh no! He took his last breath!
Oh no! He tumbled down!
Oh no! He's coming! He's coming!
Run, Runner! Dead, Runner!

He took him by his legs!
He fell unconsciously!
Oh no! What will He do?
Dead, Runner! Dead Runner!

He took his head as an ornament;
He fed his carcass to the dogs;
He put his shoes as a souvenir;
*Dead, Runner. Dead, Runner.
Because why not
2.5k · Jun 2016
Perfectionist
woolgather Jun 2016
A **** perfectionist.
You're as old but isn't as wise as an abacist.
You fight for wrong, naive absolutist.
You think you're much of an academist,
**** dumb perfectionist.

Get crazy on other's tiny errors,
Then shrug off your own,
Say "nobody's perfect" as an excuse,
That's getting old, you're fooling nobody,
You **** dumb perfectionist.

Your two-faced mask is broken to bits and pieces,
Yet you still pretend you're the wise one.
Nobody's fooled by your feeble act!
At least, not me anymore,
You **** dumb perfectionist.

All you boast with is money!
Don't get me wrong,
I won't kneel and kiss your feet.
You blind others with cash and bling,
'Cause you can't live on your own.

You're supposed to be my role model
But what in you is close enough to be?
Procrastination? Foul mouth?
Wait— you already taught me to be worse than you,
You **** dumb perfectionist.

Clamor all you want,
I don't care anymore.
You can't blind me with what you have,
You can't turn me to what I'm not,
You **** dumb perfectionist!
What a genitalhead
1.8k · Nov 2017
I am a Coward.
woolgather Nov 2017
I am a coward,
But you wouldn't know that,
Because I am a coward.
Through my thoughts and words.

I am a coward,
Silent when I should've been loud;
I am a coward,
Doubtful when I should've been proud.

I shall bring shame to my family,
As some of them have brought mine;
I shall bring shame to those who surround me,
Those who said I shouldn't give up on the line.

I will be selfish,
I will be foolish,
I will be fiendish,
I will try to end it.

I have seen the ugly,
I have felt how ugly.
I have seen your sorrows;
Yet I have not faced mine.

Now I am a coward,
Keeping the things I should've said,
Nothing more than a coward,
A lost cause better dead.

Don't blame yourself,
When you come see my grave,
Put your fake face on the shelf,
For once don't be a knave.

For those I will leave grieving,
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough;
Maybe you did start caring,
Started caring but not enough.

I am a coward.
Put none on faith,
All alone, a *******,
Alone and lost and frail.

I am a coward,
To let myself be conquered,
By sickness and my thoughts,
By circumstance and words.

I am a coward,
Without saying why;
I am a coward,
To leave without saying goodbye.

I am a coward,
To end abruptly my own strife,
I wish you would forgive me,
For giving up my life.

To those who see these words,
May my omen bring you a sign;
Don't be alone, or at least try;
Don't repeat what mistake have I.

I am a coward.
It took me so long to let you know.
I am a coward.
Hopefully this goodbye isn't just for show.
I'm sorry but I'll try to **** myself tonight.

The pain's so much to bear

A dumb decision but one I stand by

Goodbye.
1.3k · Aug 2018
Misplaced Euphoria
woolgather Aug 2018
You struck me like how old gods would
Without a fervent touch
Yet still you got me

You were grand to me
As you thought you won't be
But I still loved you

And I know
You weren't built in a day
Much like how I felt lasted

More than enough
Much more painful
But it's fine now

What's left of you
Is stone
But you're still so beautiful
r
1.2k · Apr 2016
Untitled
1.1k · Jul 2016
Catcalling Terror
woolgather Jul 2016
Rest upon your chamber,
Fall down to haunting slumber;
Rise not to see the light of day,
But the last moments before the darkness'd decay.

A cold enough to freeze me whole,
Yet not rival the breeze of the winter Fool,
Chill me down to my spine,
Take from me what's near but never mine.

The icy winds won't soon fade,
Yet one can best it, the heat that I've made;
The heat of brethren's fissures and turmoil,
A fight within the mother soil .

What is he is never I,
What his damnation is far from my madness by;
He sought to give justice that he is a Father,
He can't even calm a raging child and a crying mother.

These words aren't meant to be spoken,
If it was, then it wouldn't have been written;
Alas, a naive child retires again,
*With his horns half kept and his words half spoken.
A lone flower in a bed of thorns and bodies
1.1k · May 2016
When I Rot
woolgather May 2016
When I rot,
Will you tend to me?
Will you comfort me?
Will you stay, even at my worst?
When I rot,
Will you hold my hand?
Will you tell me everything's fine,
Even if it wasn't, and never will?
When I rot,
Would you make me feel alright?
Would you lay beside my casket,
And hum my favorite tune?
When I rot,
Would I still be your love?
Would you still be patient,
Enough to see me dwindle to nothing?
When I rot,
Will you still see me as me?
Would you not change for me?
Would you still find the good that's long not within me?
Oh—that's right;
You never felt real;
You weren't even here to begin with.
A prequel to the ramble I shouldn't have written
woolgather Jun 2016
Words can be rotten, indeed,
Tugging you in every step,
Since they released the hold on those hellhounds,
"You're an awful person".
Letters may they only be,
Yet they can still be as sinister,
As a wolf creeping behind a rabbit.
Yet, this being truth,
It is a two-way mirror.
They build us up or break our walls.
They can be your rise,
They can be your downfall.
Words spoken may be all that powerful,
But words can also best them, as well.
See them as their insecurities,
Not yours.
Pity not yourself, not them, not anyone.
Understand that they cannot understand you;
They may have a reason not to?
Please, don't lose yourself,
In the blur of the letters and words they threw.
Let the Demons in you be tamed,
They can be freed for another time.
Letters and words these may all be,
Yet I hope what I want to say, you see.
You are not alone.
**We are not alone.
I hope you could read this, Pauline Russell.

Cheers from somewhere in the world.
1.0k · Jun 2018
Because I'm Never
woolgather Jun 2018
You look into my eyes
and I allow;
Although I know through it
you look at yours;
I'm nothing but an object:
Something to get what you want.
Never the one desired.
At a loss for words,
Beaten up by distractions.
I'm tired but I can't yield;
The world never cared
for unannounced rejects
like me.
The only way I can escape
is to die.
And I can't change my mind.
I'm sorry.
...the one needed.
999 · Sep 2016
Waves
woolgather Sep 2016
I'll say it time and time again,

I love you.
Iloveyo
Ilovey
Ilove
Ilov
Ilo
Il
­I;

Until I become alone and dead again.

I;
In
Ine
Inee
Ineed
Ineedy
In­eedyo
I need you.

Your presence gives me desperation.

I love you.
Iloveyo
Ilovey
Ilove
Ilov
Ilo
Il
­I;

Even though I know you don't think of me;
I know that "I love you" for you would be;

I;
Id
Ido
Idon
Idont
Idontn
Idontne
­Idontnee
Idontneed
Idontneedy
Idontneedyo
*I don't need you.
It comes back stronger than before
983 · Mar 2017
Humane Grace and Cyberspace
woolgather Mar 2017
"Look up from your phone, shut down that display,
stop watching this video, live life the real way."
These I've heard from someone, from somewhere I have seen,
Which is ironic, as I got them from my phone and my computer screen.

I have lots of online friends and I feel less lonely,
I also have real friends but they tend to leave me abruptly;
Without gadgets, we have to talk whilst making more than a glance,
With them, we talk even whatever the circumstance.

We talk to face to face, make mistakes, say sorry;
Type with a keyboard, pick your words, less worry.
Error isn't bad, I'm just saying it's embarrassing,
Especially when it's your error that'll make them go laughing,
With social media, I can have a second chance,
Unlike talking nonstop and talking without plans.
Though, frankly saying, still do be careful,
To what you type, what you post, it can be a handful.

They say with the internet, we cause quite a commotion,
With a status or a tweet that's emotional yet without emotion,
In the cyberspace, we are who we want ourselves to be,
In the cyberspace they hate, You can be you, I can be me.

Codes and programs aptly created,
Becoming a vessel, both beloved and hated;
Social media, a platform, where one can rehearse,
Social media, an enigma, both a blessing and a curse.

Born of the era of the neos we have witnessed,
When letters were once written, now they're typed and addressed;
When once we had to know where they're at,
Now we could just dial up online, just sit down and chat!

But as time flew by, faster and faster,
From its real aim, we grow farther and farther,
Once used to connect those who haven't been actualised,
Now also to those who can now make them compromised;
Those in front of you, or even just a block away,
Because of social media, you think they are in lightyears astray.

Type your "****", your " LOL", your "*** XD",
Type what you want, but does that mean you're really happy?
Go ahead and put that colon and parenthesis,
Make exaggeration of your nonexistent catharsis.

They say they're amazing, they say that a lot,
But sometimes what they are is something they are not.
I know in this space, that we're free as we would have ever been,
Thanks to the brains and the alloys far more than aluminum and tin,
Still remember that it's also a human sitting at the other side of your screen,
Just think about your actions; if you were them, what would it mean?

Don't fall to your own damnation, don't ruin the plot,
Don't let a digital presence degrade you and rot;
If it won't do you good, just stop where you should,
Or ask a real person to help you if you never understood.

Life does confuse us, life *****, sometimes,
When everyone around seems painted in crimes,
I get that you'd seek help to someone that'll differ,
But is that someone understanding you deeper?

Chatting with someone miles away won't be a recluse,
'Cause after all, what is even there left to lose?
It feels nice even from far away to feel loved, accepted,
But wouldn't it be so much better if they were to hold you, comforted?

Sometimes a wild guess has nothing to lose yet too much to risk,
Sometimes it's better to just move by yourself and start to frisk.
Before searching the ocean of people far and wide, of those good to preach,
Try looking around you, they might be just upon your reach.

They may say words that make you feel less blue,
But make sure those words are words thay stay true.
Because letters may be harmless, words can be blunt,
But when sharpened enough become a ****** stunt.

Phones and computers are ever-easy to use,
But make sure that with it, you fall to abuse;
It makes them addicting, I'll admit,
But we also have to know they have a limit.

Try to close that screen, try to look in front,
Try and talk to one another, no plans, no punt,
We're not a generation of idiots: smart phones, dumb people,
We're a generation of breakthroughs: smart phones, smarter people.

Sometimes we become too rash and get too rushed,
We use them too much then we become brainwashed,
But it's alright if we fall and abject,
After all, no one's made humanly perfect.

It's a paradox, truly, it really is,
That when you’re too busy looking down, you don’t see the chances you miss.
But for the chances you miss, the inevitability you take,
For the new chances that you're ought to make.

Maybe you'll still make, the girl of your dreams come true,
Get married, buy a house, accept each other's peaks and waterloo,
Love and then hate, then sail through this test,
Experience happy and sad and exciting and scary things, up until you rest.

It's okay to look down and type what you feel
Just don't forget to go out and experience everything real,
I still have a thousand words that I want to say,
But all of them point you to living your life in your real way.
Too long, I know
966 · Jun 2017
Happy?
woolgather Jun 2017
My life is so perfect!
I'm so happy to have this many friends;
Sunshine fills my every day!
Everyone greets me with a smile;
Roads and singing cars,
All the things I see are beautiful!
But the most thrilling part is,
Love fills me up!
Everything in my world is joyous!
Read between the lines ******
947 · Jun 2016
Rotten
woolgather Jun 2016
I let my demon speak for me,
****, ****, ****!
I care not of what you would say,
****, ****, ****!
I care not of what you would do,
****, ****, ****!
Cut my tongue off!
Chop my dirtied hands for this!
**** me if you want!
I have been silent for too long!
I have been playing blind for ages!
Do as you wish!
Silence my music!
Prove to them all wrong!
The truth will always be with me!
Silence my monster, if you dare!
*****, ****, ****!
A message to a someone
916 · Jul 2016
Slam
woolgather Jul 2016
I've known of the man called Freedom,
His eyes pristine and his hands of good gesture,
He gave to all he ever saw,
Even those who wished he'd be dead.
You see, Freedom is a nice man,
He had given us the chance to be one,
Yet some see him as a hindrance,
That he'd be the one to cut the bridge to their horrid ambition.
It's true Hell's already empty,
The Devils are already here!
And they'd tied Freedom to the podium!
And they'd ready their  flames and *****!
"Witness! As this hell of a saint be exposed before your very eyes!"
The Demons wailed and shouted.
"Light the flames! Expose his treacheries!"
As the demons hissed and the ***** lighted.













Freedom speaks.











Friends, my brothers, people of all brethren,
Ramble not, for I shall tell you truth.
Ebb is the fierceness you encounter,
End is the beginning of your hate.
Dawned to me, you have lost your innocence,
On the edge of light and darkness;
Mourning am I to you all.

Never the same are your reasons to fight,
Earnest are you to your reasons,
Vague, yet, are your answers.
Earthbound will be your rationality,
Revolving in wrong, your right.

Demonstrate not crudeness, but kindness,
Ice the hatred and let the good burn within you.
Enough of the foul that has come to be,
Sing the words that are your harmony.













All is silenced.

















Freedom opens his eyes.
The flames, gone.
The hissing, deafened.





















Freedom, is you.
The shots have been fired. Liberation will not be silenced.
908 · Jul 2016
Revert (For Ronin Okami)
woolgather Jul 2016
If you'd look down on your body
And see only bruises and scars
You're not alone, don't worry,
You're not the only shooting star.

I've not painted myself,
With things as black as yours;
But, mind you, I've been as dark as thyself,
And I've been in too many horrors.

I've not blame you for the blade you've held,
But I feel your grief, and this I'd tell;
I've felt it before, your feelings compelled,
In a sea of regret, from cloud 9 you fell.

I've tried many times to drown my sorrow,
And watch blood of innocence drip through unwelcome wound,
And rise, another day, not as hollow,
And plaster a smile as if I'm not doomed.

Today, I regret ever letting my demons run
Even though they'd pushed me to write;
I'd say to you "Be strong! Bask another sun!"
And let your demons help you in the fight!

Just know that one even from across the oceans,
Would like to see you stand;
Would like to see you trump your omens
And lend a helping hand.

If you'd be switched over,
I'd help you back up again.
Even if I can't go sooner or later,
At least with the words that came from my pen.

I hope you'd read this,
Even out of the boon,
Even if you'd not find bliss,
**Together, let's sing our battle tune!
I hope you couldread this, Ronin Okami. Stay strong, dude
woolgather Apr 2016
He was born of the grandiosity,
The pride of wolves,
The bravery of lions,
The wit of ravens;
He was born of a beast.

He had the might of the strongest,
He triumphed every strife.
He always had the victory,
Of the pleasures of life,
He was born of a beast, indeed;

Yet unlike the beasts akin;
He was not of ferocity,
A strange affliction, received;
Bravery of lions, he has, indeed,
Yet, he struggles with a foe.

The foe gave the toughest skirmish he had,
Sadly, he failed to vanquish it:
The sullen darkness, the specter,
The mist that did nothing but whisper;
Whisper tragedies over naught.

It filled him with guilt,
It filled him with fear;
It made the Beast weary,
To conceal the scars he sought in battle;
A battle far too explicit.

He, the beast, ventured endlessly,
Trying to hide his curse.
He tried to release himself from everyone;
His kinship, his gallantry,
His kin.

Then in his yonder, he met a wisp;
Lively, bright, pompous.
The wisp accompanied him in his bouts:
The bouts that hid his truths,
The bouts that pushed him away from his realities.

Alas, the Specter he encounters once more.
Again, it whispers his fears.
Amidst the pain he listens to, a faint voice enlightens him;
The wisp speaks his bravery;
The wisp speaks acceptance.

His eyes were unclouded,
It glowed like never before.
He had done something he thought he would've never done:
Vanquish the evil that haunts him;
Vanquish the Specter of Censures.

A day arose again.
He, the Beast awoke, listening to the hymn of the wisp;
It spoke that his battle was not of the specter's,
That his battle was within the Beast's self,
And with it, he slumbers, edified.

He awakens once again,
Realizing the truth that he is:
A flamboyant Faun,
Frolicking in the meadowy grasslands,
Basking the Sun's warmth.

Yet realizing this, he wears his mane once more,
As he is greeted again by his kin;
He fears not that hisself  be lost;
He fears that his all would be lost,
When they are darted by his Truth.

He, the Beast still walks upon his feet,
He still has the grandiosity of his birth,
Yet he forcefully clouds himself in lies,
To hide the reality he only can accept;
The Faun, hiding in the beast's mane.
I try to conceal a lifelong guilt, yet here I am, subtly shedding my worries.
896 · Jan 2017
Hadn't Been
woolgather Jan 2017
Lights on,
Lights off.
Stared in the mirror,
But could never see clearer.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Prayed for the burden to get lighter,
Got all but none to make it feel better.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Tried to lay it off my head,
Got too carried away by it, instead.
Should've plugged the headset when they started talking;
Should've left the words to rot when I knew where they were going;
Should've shrugged it off because it wasn't my business,
Now I can't accept anything but brash and reckless.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Should've done it,
Should've tossed it.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Had to put the lid,
But never did.
Lights on,
Lights off.
Never the path had been so light,
Lights on,
Lights off.
*I just haven't been myself tonight.
It wasn't the details but rather the distraught
885 · Apr 2016
Cogs and the Catalyst
woolgather Apr 2016
Into a spiral of words, we go once more
Into the head of a madman;
On the contrary, he is self-proclaimed,
None proves he is a madman, after all.
He sets his machine ablaze,
Sculpting words upon his hundred epitaphs,
Exclaiming he'll end his hell today,
And rise again, tomorrow.

He is but a tinker of words,
He is but a feeble being;
Unable to voice the change he desires,
Unable to converge in the norms.
His machine seems rusted,
Rusted, but not broken;
Spewing out nonsense in disguise,
Molding empty grandeur.

It is not his machine that needs repairs,
It is the Tinker who seeks soothe.
He toils upon his machine,
Only to find that none is wrong;
It still basked in ivory and gold,
It still made what it does.
Yet, why does the Tinker feel such incompleteness?
All was vague, until it, came;

It had a smile that rivaled the sunrise,
It gave the Tinker the eyes to see the truth,
It showed him the light, and umbra of life.
It guided the Tinker to the stars;
It made the Tinker feel new again.
Together, they tinkered the machine once more,
And together, they saw the marvel before their very eyes;
They were truly, a cog and a catalyst.

Yet all is not forever.
It vanished without a trace.
It left the Tinker lost.
With its departure,
It left wake of the darkness in his heart.
His eyes grew dimmer,
He saw his masterpiece again, as a loss,
A failure.

The Tinker left death to feed upon his happiness,
The Tinker felt incompleteness once more;
He gambled for it to stay,
Yet all gambles fail in the end.
Yet the Tinker never knew,
It never left him.
The Tinker was made a fool over nothing;
Art lest, just offer nonsense, in love's yonder.
If you find it confusing, then it works. It's literally how I feel every time.
806 · Dec 2016
Cold Hands, Cold Feet
woolgather Dec 2016
Stuck with a midnight crises,
Split to think about two people,
Split to hearing two voices in my head.
All while busy crying the time away.
Melancholic piano plays,
As the rainy night passes by;
My favorite night.
They'd not believe me when I'd tell them,
No one would believe tears from a boy's eye would be real.
And this cold ain't the best thing to feel with it.
So I'd have no choice but to sleep unfinished.
I'll just see them in my dreams,
With a song on repeat.
I might have a blanket,
But nothing would spare me from the cold truth;
That you'll never feel the same for me.





































Both of you.
It's harder to hold on two hearts both closed
795 · Feb 2017
Uneven Hue
woolgather Feb 2017
You were red,
I was blue.
You turn lilac whenever I'm near,
Then red violet when you talk to me.
I turn teal when you smile,
Then uncertain as indigo when you call my name.
Then yellow came around,
You turned orange.
I turned green.
Whenever you're with me I turn you brown.
Now I disgust you.
Now I ***** you.
I strip myself of the hues I've made.
Now I'm just black.
Devoid of anything, of anyone.
Of us, of you.
Combinations aren't even right
777 · Apr 2016
Paradox of Affection
woolgather Apr 2016
Fate seemed to be dumbfounded,
Letting us cross our paths that day.
Since then, You never came off my head,
Such as a memory;
To good to pass off,
Yet too painful to be kept.

You were an enigma:
A close acquaintance,
But a mysterious person.
I wanted to know you better,
Yet my cowardice didn't let me.
Anonymity was made my only choice;
Here it is.

I have the slightest of clues,
Maybe, it's uncanny.
You struck me, in the calmest of storms.
You make my thoughts insane,
You set my heart ablaze.
You, made me feel, different.

I'm not so sure, however,
If I am to use that Word;
I am far too scared to,
And too weak to tell you.
It's ironic: you make me joyous,
And you also make me melancholic.

The clock will never stop ticking.
Time, yet again, I wasted on nothing.
But I digress;
This hollowness I feel, is fulfilling.
Alas, I'll say it now:
I dedicate this to you, my Someone...
I don't know why I started loving this person, and I think I'll never stop doing so...
767 · Nov 2016
Tantalizing Habit
woolgather Nov 2016
Slashing, dashing,
The blade through my arm.
Bleeding, bleeding,
I don't know why it works like a charm.

I wouldn't be surprised,
If they'd be  disgusted;
They'd want myself revised,
But I'm not just  maladjusted.

Wear that mask again,
That mask that hid your pain with fakes;
And try to clean the*  blood-red  stain;
And keep doing so until your sanity breaks.

I guess that words keep me intact,
Even just to reality, I hope.
Though, with my demons, I made a pact;
*It's no use; I can't seem to mope.
Blood spilled is blood spilled
729 · Apr 2016
Juggling Words
woolgather Apr 2016
Deafening brazen censures,
Putrid acts of "kindness",
Bloodied heart of vanity,
Painted to seem worthy,
Clamored to seem wordy,
A twist with words,
A kiss of pain,
Your words of rusted steel.

Disguising disgust in compliments?
Please, don't waste your breath!
I know of your festering conscience;
I know of your elusive plays.
Cherish your words, my darling;
Stop using them for naught;
What use to cover a rotten figure,
In terribly plastered shells?

Enough with your mentality!
Wake up to the truth of reality!
It's not society that's broken;
It's you who's horribly meek!
You think I'm being harsh?
Snap out of your fantasy!
Stop sewing faux pas,
If you can't cover the seams!

Everything is darker than it seems,
Yet, there is also a light to it;
You intend to mold the truth out of Luma,
When you know it's bare of pain,
You already lost, expectedly;
You may get your cravings,
But you will never get what you are worth;
You've soiled your own pride.
Alas, the jester reveals its horrible self.
woolgather May 2016
Close your eyes, my dear,
We shall lay upon clouds;
Close your eyes, my dear,
We shall hear the sounds;
Close your eyes, my dear,
We'll fall into evergreen;
Close your eyes, my dear,
Our thoughts will ean;
Close your eyes, my dear,
Let us venture as one;
Close your eyes, my dear,
Us will never be gone;
Close your eyes, my dear,
Let your dreams flow;
Close your eyes, my dear,
Wherever you want, we shall go;
Close your eyes, my dear,
Let us feel this bliss;
Close your eyes, my dear,
Feel there is nothing amiss.
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Open your eyes.
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See the treachery of Paradise.
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Open. Your. Eyes.
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See how the dream dies, as time flies.
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Close your eyes, my dear,
As I cower in my fear;
Closing my eyes, dear,
**Makes me remember that you'll never be here.
I'll still stay even if the torture gets worse.
708 · Jun 2017
I Won't Bleed
woolgather Jun 2017
I won't bleed
So don't worry about me;
I won't bleed
So it's fine if you hurt me

I won't feel
When you leave me
I won't see
The treacheries you'll be giving me

So let me rot
In my pedestal
Let them do what they want to me, it's fine
I don't bleed

I won't bleed
No point worrying about me;
I won't bleed
So hurt me

I won't bleed
My blood won't come gushing out
On the wounds and scars
You made for me

I won't bleed
So do as you please
I won't bleed
I'm already dead
It ran out a long time ago
659 · Mar 2018
A Poet Scared to Write
woolgather Mar 2018
It's been a while since I had to write;
Words that may be lies; words that may be right;
It's been a while since I let it out,
Emotions not of joy and not of spite.


Oh who am I ******* kidding
I can't write anymore
No matter how I try
I can't do it anymore
I ****** up big time. Literally.

But it's not like you'll understand.
Not like anyone would understand.
650 · Sep 2016
Vincible
woolgather Sep 2016
Ball and chain,
We've spent so much together,
Ball and chain,
We are one after the other.
Ball and chain,
You're a friend than of a lover,
Ball and chain,
You're the friend, I am the lover.

I carry the weight upon my shoulders,
You drag me forward.
I've always felt down;
You'd toss me up.
I follow you wherever you are,
A bond keeps us together,
I don't even know if you would rather;
See us as a ball and chain together.

You drag me constantly,
Am I that much of a burden?
I know you want to release me,
But the lock is a mystery to open;
If you're pestered, then say it!
Why not just tell me to leave?
Why are you letting me ruin your life?
Why are you not giving me the truth?
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Oh — that's what I never realized;*
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You were chained to another.
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All those heartaches were real, after all;
To love someone who loves someone else;
Now I know why you never said the truth;
Because you never cared anymore.
I was trapped in a dream,
A dream that is far to happen;
I chose to stay in a hallucination so tame,
It's not all your fault — I am partly to blame.

Ball and chain,
I know it's not real,*
Ball and chain,
But still it hurts to let it go,
Ball and chain,
How fast it goes by,
Ball and chain,
*It's time to say goodbye.
Nagmahal. Nasaktan. Nagpapakatanga pa rin.
635 · May 2016
Asylum
woolgather May 2016
As the straps in your jacket tighten,
Soon your body will be dosing off pills,
Your mind will be played by "Doctors",
Lose all your sanity,
Uneasy pieces put together,
Make your head insane.
My words are like those of one mad: nothing makes sense
627 · Jun 2016
Bludgeoning Innocence
woolgather Jun 2016
My gates of insanity have opened.
I feel ice cold,
Whilst the heat of their gazes.
Educate me like a mindless child,
"Honesty is the best policy."*
Tell me, is honesty the best policy,
If the truth you know can slit your throat?
My nature has never been nice to me.
I am caged within myself.
I know not of salvation with embracing truth.
They keep asking me to tell the truth,
Whilst knowing that it would change them.
Tell me I'm terrible!
Tell me I'm horrid!
Tell me I've changed!
I have changed nothing!
My lips are dry,
My hands are exhausted.
Still, I'd never run.
I'd feel the sting and stay.
I'd take the blow and stand again.
I'd stand for what others think is wrong.
I am not you.
You are not me.
Cut me and tear me to shreds!
I'd still speak of what is-

false.
Truth won't always set you free
601 · Nov 2016
Three Lines; Thousand
woolgather Nov 2016
With all the letters telling me:

You can move on and be better!;

I wonder if they're just there to remind me of being stuck.
Because it keeps oozing out
598 · Aug 2015
My Epitomy of Grief
woolgather Aug 2015
Woe is the ballad that fills my soul
It completes my ruthless eternity;
Like a bird on a tree, the food on one's bowl
Among all the nonsense that there is to be;

Being a second option,
A scapegoat to all your problems;
An existence worth giving oblivion;
The black sheep of the perfect system.

Not tears, nor even happiness
Is a solution to my melancholy,
The darkness that lie within my heart;
A hatred that cannot be quenched by anybody.

My screams cannot be heard
My conscience has been sewn;
I am but the world's breakdown;
A creation unhewn.

In these words, entwined
Something to keep everyone reminded
A message for anyone to find
A being's life, tormented.
Please be considerate. It's my first try on writing a poem about what I really want to say. But feel free to give your comments. :)
595 · Apr 2017
Slice of Life I
woolgather Apr 2017
Born within a generational divide,
But some people will argue otherwise;
An affliction for movies of childhood,
*Like feeling the nostalgia I never got to experience.
I regret a lot
592 · Apr 2016
Distasteful Poetry
woolgather Apr 2016
Clicking and clacking, keypad strums,
Shouting every word it conjures,
From the mind of the insane,
To visions quite humane;
Unsettling ******* of words.

I serve not to your entertainment;
Sovereignty still reigns,
It is yours to spend a tad of time, or not,
I merely am placing my thoughts with words;
For it might explode if I bottle it in my brain.

Masterpiece would be an overstatement;
Nonsense would, truly, be an understatement,
Mediocrity seems to fit my anecdotes,
For what one sees in front of them,
May hide something much more hideous.

Wrap your thoughts in my words,
I implore you in your attention,
Yet, who am I to fend off nobody?
I may speak highly for myself,
But, honey, I try to sound like everybody else.

My ears buzz with white noises,
Words seem to fly off my head,
Like a flock of birds startled briskly,
Quite a description, I know, I've tried,
**But I just seem to be a distasteful poet.
A bloated philosophy.
586 · Mar 2017
Plot Twist
woolgather Mar 2017
Everything I do wrong feels uncannily right
(not really)
581 · Apr 2016
Sympathy to Recover
woolgather Apr 2016
From the eyes of a nobody,
Wits of  a deranged,
I speak reality, though not clearly,
That one like you be saved.

If sympathy is what you seek,
Seek not to strain your soul;
Though you do not feel at world's peak,
I will do nothing but condole.

I have been where you are today,
And, frankly, have never left;
I had mistaken that the right thing was to lead astray,
Now I missed Love's theft.

A cluster of words,
Seems meaningless to some;
I do not aim to be absurd,
I just wish to conjure a soothing hum.

I have never known you,
Nor have seen you, even once;
I merely tell that , even you are not my ou,
You're not alone in these wretched runs.

In time you will ease,
Even the darkest of your fears.
And you will earn peace,
After the myriad of tears.

I am but a stranger,
Yet I feel the same as you,
We will battle the Alleger,
We will battle like we all do.

Dear Fallen One, I hope you can read this,
And get what I transpire;
Don't worry if they won't stop the hiss,
Because one day, they will tire.
We have all been there, and some are still there, Fallen One. I hope this can give you even a little shine of light.

Cheers from somewhere in the world.
578 · Jul 2017
Latter
woolgather Jul 2017
You told your truth,

And lay bare your soul.

You speak the words you say,

As those who hear feel your turbulent catharsis;

Or maybe it was just me.

As if when you speak you asked for pity,

You weren't right to feel remorse.

You told your truth,

As you were about to shed tears.

But I never saw even glistening in your eyes;

Or heard remorse in your tone.

I can only make either of two things true:

you lie.

or;

you are brave.

Brave enough to put your heart at ease,

When the tides come crashing down your ship;

Brave enough to say that you're fine,

When really your walls are about to crumble.

I adore you;

For I feel the bravery you try to emanate;









And the wailing hope you try holding together




I am but a stranger at crossroads;

*I happen to hear your voice
I'm very new to this way of thinking

Please do understand
568 · Oct 2017
Weakened
woolgather Oct 2017
I write this with little force,

Autocorrect guiding my words;

Inhalers keeping this curse at bay,

Blades making blood flow.

I think of now with little hope,

Without a saving grace;

I think of now, a pitch-black room

With no one there but my demons.

Flurry of words seem to gush out of me,

As I hyperventilate;

Grief grows larger as they don't notice,

As these fingers grow numb.

I don't know how much I'll last,

Might as well collapse,

No matter how much I say I'll die,

I'll just live some time again.

But now it's worse.
.. .heoollp mded
556 · Apr 2016
Rubber Pain
woolgather Apr 2016
I thought I'd take the leave,
Release the grasp of my love,
My love that never shone through;
Yet I stumble upon a piece or two,
Reminiscing the song of words,
Painful, yes, but touching, as well.

I would admit, some of my rambles
Spew out of my mind when I see you;
A picture, a message, a thought of you, even,
You set my mind fuzzy, yet you make it best me;
Knowing that our hearts can never beat as one,
It fills me with bereavement.

I know time will come that I'll forget you,
Make your existence feeble in my world,
I wished this time would soon come;
Yet, I wish to savor your company,
Even if you don't feel the same for me;
Even if I am feeble to your world.

It's repeating like a broken tune;
The voices in my head,
They speak of you and me,
Of how you would symmetrize my derangements,
And send my flow gushing endlessly;
Of how you make me feel so happy, yet sad.

"I can't make you love me, if you don't",
"I can't make you mine, if I'm nothing",
"I can't be the one to make you happy",
And I won't force you to be.
I'm lost and I can't find my way;
Maybe it's better to be lost; to be deafened by truth.
Well, **** it. I'll always feel the same for you, _____.
555 · Nov 2016
Threat
woolgather Nov 2016
Scream, then silence.
Move, then stop.
Think, then get lost;
Cut your soul in half.

Drowning in my own sorrow,
I find myself breathing;
Nonparallel to what I thought; *

Parallel to what I'm thinking.*

See not the light of the world;
For only then you will see how darkened it really is;
It's better to see in the darkness;
At least it's the reality that you'll witness.
Don't be
554 · Mar 2017
Lost Will
woolgather Mar 2017
I lost the pen that writes,
The thoughts I can't speak upon;
The punctuations that told me when
To go or continue or stop
tHe SaNiTy Of ThE wOrdS i CoNjUrE
aND mAYBE aLSO tHE sENSE i oUGHT tO tELL yOU
***** LaUnDrY
mESSED uP fEELINGS
sWiMmInG bIrDs
fLyInG fIsHeS
uNSPOKEN nOISE
mIcRoWaVe
*MaYbE i JuSt LoSt mY wILL tO uNDERSTAND
In thoughts blurred by confusion

One may find abstract sense
550 · May 2016
121 Words
woolgather May 2016
Once,
I thought.
Then it grew,
Becoming affectionate towards you.
I began writing for you,
Though I know you never knew,
Or, at least, in a million years.
I know this is real love, not infatuation,
And so I would hope you could read this.
I guess it would not matter if you feel differently,
Because, from the bottom of my heart, I love you unconditionally.
You might see this as a joke, or a blasphemy,
But dear, believe me, all of this is real;
Though you would not see, dear, please understand:
I may not be that one, destined,
Or the one making you smile,
I love you, whatever comes,
And no matter what,
Love is careless,
Truly unbound,
*Blind.
Because I love so much that I love impossible people.
539 · Apr 2016
Flee
woolgather Apr 2016
He chirps his last voice,
Clinging onto limbo,
Awaiting his judgement;
The caged.

Shackled by his thoughts,
Bound to torture by choice,
Sulking on putrid grace,
A monstrous mongrel, indeed!

"He is but but a wasted chronicle!",
"Letting himself be battered!";
"Why is he so weak?!",
"Why does he strive to live then?"

They cannot see,
They cannot understand,
The imbecility he does,
Has a grim reason behind it.

His demons cackle in his head:
"Die, you oaf! Lay lifeless in your cowardice!"
He struggles to become whole;
He struggles to be fine.

He screams silently:
"Help me end this sadness!",
He cyphers his voice over vision,
He cyphers his voice over words.

He reaches his hand out,
Hoping someone to answer;
He is beaten black and blue,
Yet he tries to plea.

As his voice begins to fade,
As his body lies down, helplessly,
As his mind goes blank with darkness,
As his hope is violently eradicated.




















*Please. Help. Me.
I just can't anymore.
531 · Nov 2016
Open Scars
woolgather Nov 2016
Got the knife and vandalized some skin;
Though scared I was to begin;
Bled, and bled, the pristine red;
Slid down my hands like a sled;
Felt the pain and enjoyed it;
Still hesitating, I continued to slit.
Now the wound seemed to itch.
Make the wound; make a hitch.
Painful yet not painful enough for a stitch;
*At least now I know not only karma's a *****.
No one would believe
524 · May 2016
Unwritten Letter
woolgather May 2016
To the people that made me who I was,
To  the people who loved me dearly,
Yet hurt me harder.
To the people who made me broken,
This is for you.

I know you are not aware of what I try to say,
I would know because, I'd never want you to.
But waking up 9 o'clock past breakfast,
Waking up to the sight of emptiness,
Made me feel about to burst.

I know you have inspired me to be better.
I know you have inspired me to skyrocket my way.
Yet I also know what you did;
I knew of your words,
I knew of your actions.

I first thought you saw me as a star;
Bright, and soaring,
Now, flashing back the things that happened before,
I felt you saw me as luggage:
Nothing but something to spend hundreds on.

I know I let you down,
But it isn't my fault my lungs can't breathe the same air,
I know I give you burden,
That I annoy you a hundredfold rather than make you feel loved,
Rather than make you feel proud of me.

I'm sorry I fell down on my absolute lows,
I'm sorry if I have always kept what truth I have,
I'm sorry I let the opportunities slip by my fingers,
I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do.

I want to go back where my world wasn't shrouded,
I want to go back where I gave you smiles and not pain,
I want to find myself again,
But I just can't, you can't understand;
But I just can't, you can't understand.
It's so hard to feel what's right when the ones who keep holding you down are the ones who made you better before
515 · May 2016
Midnight Routines
woolgather May 2016
Taking a sip of that bitter coffee,
Tiring my eyes with a sleepless night, again;
My mind running circles, setting its path ablaze with thoughts,
Listening to sappy love songs that don't really matter;
Another midnight awake for me.

Lyrics greet me as if they'd expect me to listen;
Then get distracted by my drunk father's sleeptalking;
Hear the dripping of the faucet, seemingly making a rhythm;
Making a song up for my non-lover, then get lost in thought, again;
Yet, another midnight awake for me.

Occasionally, I'd think of that person and smile like a ****,
Then burst out crying for a love that can never be real;
Then watch BuzzFeed for someone-knows-what reason,
Then laugh and cry like an idiot, yet again;
Conjuring myself a midnight wake.

I'd rather not get bored with the latter,
I'd not have much to do;
"How 'bout sleeping already, *******?"
I could try that, in all honesty,
But closing my eyes makes me more and more awake.

I would like to write this longer if I had the patience,
But I'm fed up googling words that sound fancy but talk the ordinary;
I guess this is it for me.
Another midnight awake,
Another day to cringe again.
If I had someone to talk to, that'd be grand. But instead, I binge watch. What a basic ***.
514 · Nov 2016
Again
woolgather Nov 2016
Again, I lost it.
Got my hopes up;
As usual.
Iterated my disarray,
Nothing but rejection was their reaction.

Again, I thought of it.
Grew to an acquaintance,
Assorted into bleakness;
Intrinsic I was not,
Null was I.

Again, I felt it.
Glaring at me;
Anger and disgust.
Inside of me,
Apprehensions try to rip me apart.

Again, I've hurt myself.
Guilt ensues over me;
Again, I've hurt them, as well.
Insensible as I were;
Not as insensible as I am now.

Again, I've fallen.
Gutted down to nothing.
Assaulted beyond me.
Inherently living in me;
None other than perpetrators, such as myself.
Repeated
510 · Mar 2017
Coffee and Tea
woolgather Mar 2017
Thought it would make me feel better,
Ended up making me feel worse.
Thought the pain would now be lesser,
Ended up more of a curse.
Thought the words would fade,
Ended up sharpening like blades.
Thought the cards had been laid,
Thought the final blow was made;
Thought my heart was already at ease,
Turns out I was never in peace.
Lengthy lines come out of the dormant,
Some intentional, some half-thought and made,
Some of it just plain,
Some of it just awry,
But all I wanted to say is, I'm sorry.
I've never cut out of my shell,
And I may never be able to be.
Depressed, Demoted, Oppressed,
I've never seen the world for myself:
The world I'm already living in.
I never meant to lash out,
I never meant to make you feel ******,
I never meant to tell you what things I should've never told anyone,
I never meant to compare our lives,
I never meant to upset you.
I never wanted your world to know who I am,
I'd understand if you wouldn't understand,
After all, we've never known each other.
And yet, I seem to feel you close to me;
Like you were beside me.
Now I've made a stupid decision and I don't know how to fix everything.
I have a thousand words to say to you,
But I feel like you wouldn't listen,
And that's fine.
This ain't poetry, this is an apology.
*I'm sorry.
Hi Jason, it's Nes.

I know we never know each other

If we wouldn't talk to each other again, at least read this

I don't know if you have a burden you've been carrying like I do, so I'm sorry I should've been more sensible

I wish I could've done something
504 · Oct 2016
Sedated
woolgather Oct 2016
In the midst of oppression;
The buzzing of truth finds hard to flutter.
In a carousel of corpses;
Such is a truth to stay awake.
In the lines of fuzzy minds;
How uncanny it is to find a thought;
Of a head with a travel far from reality;
His pen the anchor to mundaneness.

Strum the song that nobody ever knows,
Strum the song nobody would ever know;
Sing of the words that words cannot understand,
Let those knocking whisper their voices.
Sulk upon the sounds of trembling thunders;
Let the rain deafen you whole.
Blind your eyes from the truth with distortion;
Your pain the anchor to reality.

Let the pendulum swing;
Let the smoke turn you vague;
Let the scorn that darkness brings;
Let the sedation leave you enraged.
Let the twisted remain as they are;
Perhaps they were twisted for a reason;
Turn numb with all unconnected words;
*Confusion the anchor to the earth.
The pain is what I deserved
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