I had poems
On the tip of my tongue
Then life
Piece by piece
Cut it off
And silenced me

My voice is
Frozen in the dark
Every day
Little by little
It'll get colder
Until it shatters me

Now
The thunderous joy subsides
And I am out of breath
Cheeks hurting
Do I wear this face of self
Everywhere i go?
Do they see?
The confliction in creases
The smallness
The largeness
Of things
The disproportionate
Incapacities
I am no sombre-eyed bird
They say I smile sweetly
But I do not like my teeth
I do not like my joy
I am stiffled by my
Beautiful
Self-acceptance show
It is terrifying to appear
To be seen, twisted
Moulded over and over
By the eyeless mind,
Ever unchanged and
Impossibly me
I am open
For all but myself to see
And how many faces
For how many watchers
Am I to wear them all?
By God, am I to become them

big pond
little pond
cardboard box

no fish
no frogs
one old sock

big street
little town
no one knocks

blacked out
windows
doors all locked

big lie
little man
walls that talk

cold sons
dark nights
eyes on the clock

dead winds
dying light
stars on a walk

big sky
little faith
clinging to a rock

The old fog and the new light
Meet and unite,
I am there in the dawn.

Only now do I truly contemplate
The questions brought up in time;
What do I do with what was built
Among the people I know?
What is it I see beyond sight,
Beyond the horizon?
Why do I see an opening?
A different life -
When it is here I gave birth to the sun?

I understand,
I am consciously learning.
I heard familiar words uttered when
The leaves of autumn fell and
I said:
"I am starting to tell
The difference between the cries
Of heaven and hell."

SHADOWS

Fantasies of a mermaid
on a cloistered island, candle lit
she emerges from the cold abyss
slithers to my naked torso
electrifies me
flesh to flesh
musing as one

An intense painting
comes to a life
abstractions of intimacy
patterns of flirtation
hues of iridescent bronze, cobalt blue
washes in white

Muted whispers
she forsakes
plunges into deep shadows

PIPE DREAM
Alone on a dark blue sea
I sit in my small wooden boat
ponder my being, my life, my demise
my sea life friends embrace me

Alone, I wonder if this emptiness
is real or a dream
I search for the moon’s smile
to lighten my mood
I fear the darkness

Alone, I wonder if some soul desires me
I scan the night skies
white, yellow stars blink
perchance some hope

Alone, tears roll down my weathered face
hawks and seagulls shroud me
attempt to absorb their concern
hear whispers nearby
to alter my fire
take a chance on one’s pipe dream

I ride the waves of sorrow
to join eternal bliss
I await a kindly person
to plant a gentle kiss

MEETING W.B. YEATS FOR THE FIRST TIME

curled up in a cuddle
fused into
the one telling the one listening

my big sister
recites Yeats
she whispers:

“Come away o human child...”
as the thunderstorm breaks outside
“...to the waters and the wild...”

as the night breaks open
over the poem
“...to a world more full of weeping...”

the lightning illuminates each line
“...than you will ever understand...”
I cry into her body great heaving sobs

and she says: “Shhh...shhh.. it’s alright! ”
and I only half believe her
her death etched

into my mind
in the coming soon-to-be
future