i discovered you in a scroll
and during the beginning of my journey, too
and then the slow, slow crawl
to forgetting the warmth of your enveloping tune

so much has changed
i don't know my name, rediscovering earth
to my own principles, i'm estranged
but i never forgot my birth

how you nourished me in your melodic womb
and held me while i fought hydras and shapeshifters
how you leaving the room
never meant you never left a lasting fever

We hugged too early
Felt each others' scars
Promised us the stars
Held hands too firmly

Now we know each other barely
You seem so distant, so far
Like a dying star
No treating us fairly

do you remember when
all that mattered was
holding his hand

and smelling the sun
on his sunburnt skin
laid on sun-set sand

do you remember when
the only song you knew
was his second name

and now the only dance
your feet understand
is a stance with his toes

can you take me back
the night i cried
like how lampposts died

asking myself why
your moon only shines
when you speak of his smiles

could you take me back to sun-screened streets
where all that mattered were
our touching feet

Itim, malambing. Mga matang aking hambing
Nakatuon, nakatingin sa kanilang nakaw na sining
Isang ako, taimtim, mas tahimik pa sa gitling
Suot ang ngiting tila hiling akong ilibing

Ako't ako, nakatingin sa akin.
Takot akong tumingin sa akin.
Sangkot ako sa kaniyang adhikain
Kumakatok sa'king damdamin

Ilog ng luha, rumaragasa
ba't nga ba 'di mo na 'ko kilala?
Akong kasama mo mula simula
Ako't ako'y di ko na kilala.

I am cursed with a skin; I am the one to feel, the one to bleed.

There are days that I wish I instead become a hollow shell, a shelter for life that happens to seek me.
No nerves, no soul-just the rough dentures of nature. Trauma may scar but I would not feel it.
Some nights I wonder if this is all but karma I'm under.
Was I too greedy for emotion that I was given this soul bound with the mortal soil?
I long to be an actual shell, buried in the sand, somewhere in the ocean.
So that I would not have a place for sorrow about how I became so hollow.
I do not despise my skin, instead, I loathe the pain within and each feeling nerve that I have forsaken.
I am cursed with a skin; They make me want to cut myself, but it's not them that bleeds.

His lungs are heavy
each breath feels like a leap
off a steep, steep cliff
never too smart to foretell
how hurtful his next breath would be

The air is quiet
and the moon is swimming
ignorant of the raging winds
that are embracing each other
in his absence of motion

Had he been pretty or a little stronger
these thoughts, at night, come and wander
will this curse ever end, the curse of Between
it is hard to find footing without the extremes
he breathes dead air, when will he live?

joy is fleeting, an academic one,
like colors in words, or the flavor of summer.
a hushed lull, ever gentle breathing,
propeller of hopes, up, hovering over petals;
a floating kingdom of bones and abstraction.

loneliness is a place for moonlight dwellers:
risk takers, and ambitious,
like waddling feet hanging off a cliff
carry tales and stories and you won't find it.
but baring phantom bruises is a sure pass.

pride, a vertebral thing, essential to my being,
a path i chose.
honor, a glittering sun that i think is vital,
a path not taken, but inherited.
these are the bones that hold me together.

time will eventually catch up to me
only if i don't catch it first.
im always only seconds late,
but misses thousands of frames.
so doubt, after all, is inevitable.

i have to cut my hair shorter,
because i have that choice.
but why can't i paint my face
a nice, warm smile
when im possessive of my choices?

i build these blocks that always tumbles over
every time i get close to making it a reality
it's a winning game, until it isn't, until it is.
sheltered within the waves of procrastinated