stubborn old man

stuck in your ways

only a set number of days

still,

your crudeness

your harsh ways

I'd rather that

than see you

succumbing to your age

I say there's something there

She says the stars wouldn't agree

But the stars are only there for us to see

still, I humor her

she hurts me good

because she knows that she should

if she don't

it gets too real

love's the last thing she wants to feel

so let her live

and let her go

there's nothing you can say

she doesn't already know

getting under someone else

is the solution

so she says

it isn't something

she says with her chest

still,

she goes on

and does what she needs to do

and so I will too.

we hang out at bars

and drink and
laugh and
cry and
fight

the conversations I have with myself

to make sure I'm able

to do these things with you guys

I set aside the red inside

because if I bare my sleeve

what will that do

but inconvenience the simplicity of it all

so I talk it through

and pretend it's you I'm talking to

catharsis is a feeling I am familiar with

even if it is a feeling I feel on my own

if I told you that I feel

then it would all get too real

we congregate to escape

I get that

but then when I am alone

it feels like a trap

and I can't escape that

I'd cut my veins open

and swim in the pool of my own blood

if it meant that I was getting better at
being who I am

you worry that I'll drown

you can't save me from myself

but if I came out to dry

fully realized

would you be the one to hand me the towel

or would you have already gone

oh my love

how you tore my heart in two

served on a plate for yourself

and for someone I never knew.

funny how they both were you.

and now i sit still

the reach of your hand

i avoid

for it is a sickness

that turns me to a boy.

i don't need you i don't need you

but i wish you wanted me to.

you saw right through me, like a flame to a thin sheet of paper

you got close,
and I was afraid to catch fire

but your flames only ever served to bring me warmth

you saw me for who I was,
and refused to believe in the monster I convinced myself to be.

I see now,
love is a fragrant flame that only ever burns when you get too close

a cool breeze can make it stronger,
and a strong wind will put it out

I ask that we weather the winds together,
and put our hands over the flame when it gets too much

and if we should burn,

I ask that we burn together

and let our ashes go with the winds that seek to strengthen what we had.

My little moon rose

You go when the moon goes

Will you think of me?

When you're blooming and not?

Only a night's worth of thoughts

I hope that you think of me

Oh, if I had a moon rose for every moment

I thought of you

I would only ever have one

You are all I've ever loved

And so when the moon goes, I will too in my own way

You are all I've ever loved

And I think that is enough