Your the reason happy family's make me cry
You had no love for me
It was all laced with poison and lies
Making me rethink any happy memories
Realizing how fake they were
You filled my childhood with lies and hatred
Only made me feel sadness and despair
Made me believe I was nothing
Just a disappointment
Not someone worth loving
Someone who would never be good enough
That deserved to be beat
I remember you bragging about it
You were laughing and telling your friends
how you put me in my place
Like it was an accomplishment
The fact you chased me when I tried to run
Pinned me down
And just kept swinging
Till I could barely breathe
I still remember the screaming
How much my head pounded after 
I could barely stand as I dragged myself to my room
Everything stayed spinning
I was nauseous for days
But my hair was so thick you couldn't see the bruises
And the blood washed away 
I think it was summer so no one could have noticed
I tried telling family, they just said it was discipline
I should quit winning, it's not like I was actually beat....
One one who did believe me told me to shut up
At least I was lucky to still have a mother....

I feel the bones
cracking in my toes
every thing aches
the joints are stiff and sore
hurts so much it's hard to ignore
I just want to curl up on the floor
just stop the cold from creeping in
I feel the icy chill on my skin
my bones ache
my skin is flushed
as the cold seeps in
nipping at my warmth
draining my energy
why did you have to set so soon
it to early for these low numbers
too early to freeze
but you're never ready
no matter how much you prepare
the cold will always bite
and slowly eat you away

Something has been eating me alive
and it's coming from within
when did it truly begin
when did it start eating away
what's the cause of this decay
my insides are in disarray
out of place
some things missing
slowly filling with the void
an empty replacement
fulling with darkness
it won't stop spreading
is it truly from within
or did you infect me
pierce me with your toxin
to slowly eat away
making me useless
so I can't fight your words
your toxic hate
breaking me down
piece by piece
destroying who I was
and what I could be
but your gone
I have begun to heal
but it's hard to replace what you've taken
what you destroyed
sometimes I can still taste your poison
I know ill never forget
what you did
the pain I felt
but I can be better
I WILL be better
I can make it out alive
I can heal
no matter how hard you tried
I'm still alive

Jeepers Creepers
heading your way
I may not drive
but i'll hunt your soul anyway
a delicious treat
worth the run
can't wait for the rush
it's going to be so fun
darlin you're not prepared
for what I'm going to do
It will be worth not making it out
Alive at least
cuz I know you'll be missing something
and it's going to be mine
so what will you give up
what will you trade for me
because honey I'm going to take it all
last thing you'll remember is the fall
surrounded by feeling
surrounded by something
why don't you come find out
cuz I'm going to leave you guessing
the suspense almost palatable
you will know what you truly desire
but who knows if I'll give it
but I will take something
whether you like it or not
the question is
are you brave enough
to face the unknown

There was once a weak little sparrow. She has yet to learn to fly, so she fell out of the nest. Little did she know it would keep her alive. In a small stream she drifted on by as the other creatures burned alive, a fire engulfed the forest she once called home. It nipped the edges of the stream burning her wings, as time went by the fire died leaving the entire forest in ash. A lone witch searched the forest with tears in her eyes for any signs of life.
Only to find a lone little bird, barely clinging to life, desperate to survive. So the little witch took the little sparrow home, trying to save its life. Her wings were badly burned, and she would never be able to fly. The witch did what she could and kept the bird alive, but as time went by the sparrow grew sad. Knowing everything was gone, and she was alone as she looked at the burned forest.
Then the little witch had an idea, to try and turn the sparrow human, so they wouldn't feel so alone anymore. She didn't see the agony that would cause the sparrow, and never expected the burn scars would stay. So the little sparrow was turned human, well mostly. The witch has to teach her how to be human, which took many years. Eventually they lived comfortably, enjoying each other's company, but good things never last.
Someone from the nearby village saw the little witch and her small hut. They were suspicious of her, hating anything different from them. They looked disgusted by the other one, the sparrow didn't look like them. Not only that, but they hated the witch and chained the sparrow, forcing her to watch as they burned the witch. They studied the odd girl, wanting to know what she was, why she was different. The torture seemed to never stop, till she finally broke, harnessing the witches power and the life of the ancient forest that was burned. The ancient forest where she was born was burned by the villagers and the magic went into the little sparrow, hoping she would survive.
She went into a fury, slaughtering the village, leaving nothing left of the ones who tortured her, burned her only family alive and destroyed her home. She when she finally calmed, she was on the mountain overlooking the dead forest and decimated village, realizing she was truly alone.

baby, there's no need to go outside
let the rain keep you in my arms tonight
baby please
can't you see
just how happy you make me
hold me in your arms tight
let me dance around ya
grab a few drinks with me darlin
take a walk in the moonlight
goin down to the ocean
let's go enjoy the sights in the dead of night
feel the sand beneath your feet
hear the ocean around us
let me take your hand
while we start dancing in the sand
the sea breeze cooling our flushed cheeks
the moon reflecting in your eyes
as we enjoy the night
finding peace in each other's company

I got it on my mind
what could I have done
back when I was young
what caused you to throw your love away
made your heart ache when you saw my face
how could I have made you love me
how could I escape the fighting
you hated when I started writing
you said
I wasn't allowed to feel that way
made me lose my heart
my will to live
my feelings slowly dissipated
left with nothing but an empty shell
I just couldn't feel anymore
couldn't see a future for me
my made living feel pointless
like my worth was nothing
what was that
to make a child feel
how was that right
how could you take that way from me
you didn't deserve me
you didn't have the right to do what you did
and I hope you one day live with that
live with the regret of what you did to me
knowing your only daughter will never forgive you
you will never see me again
not even at your funeral
because i have no good memories of you
you made sure of that

I had a dream
that one day
that I could just fly away
cause baby your not making me stay
sitting like a stagnant river
making my heart dampen
and shiver
feeling like I'm drowning
stuck in these feelings
please let me go
let me fly away
let me be free
so we can both live
and be happy in our lives
together we will drown
I'm tired of bringing each other down
slowly sinking to the bottom
let go before we break
please
we can come back up
you have to let go
before the oxygen goes
this isn't worth drowning for
I'm not worth drowning for
darling, please let go

when the sun loves the moon
the chase never stops
forever apart
the golden light
and the silver shine
never side by side
forever making colors dance in the sky
the warmth burns
and the cool chills
the world pulled between
forever in symphony
the never-ending love
will never fade or dull
but will never touch
forever longing for the inbetweens
where they are closer than they seem

a kiss from a siren
gonna make me drown
I can feel my heart waver
and start to drag me down
I feel you taking my breath away
leaving me with no hopes of escape
your lovely lips are keeping me sane
as the light starts to fade to grey
a lovely voice with such temptation
who cares if it leads to damnation
the kiss of death would be worth it
as long as I can feel your love

Migraines are killing me now
they killed me then
and all over again
There is nothing for me to gain
just pain
I'm goin insane
over and over again
that's all the same
it becomes so mundane
part of my daily routine is nothing else going on with me
you're just causing my chronic pain and migraines

Won't you save me
Let this be the last goodbye
I'm tired of breaking down
Please just leave me
I don't need to hear how you feel
Or the stories you fabricate
Stop filling my life with so much hate
It's not what I need
please just leave
You never loved me
Only caused me agony

I'm falling apart
breaking into pieces
so tired of these lies
walking on thin ice
living off distractions
always scared of your reactions
making me flinch at every action
It's too late now
no chance of redemption
anxious every time you're mentioned
I just wanna live my life
where you are not in sight
so I can have peace of mind
but the memories stay
more than I can handle
so until they fade
please stay away
It's too late now
no telling how
but ill make it out
somehow

hold me tight
for just a moment
let me feel whole again
putting back the missing pieces
that has been broken
I feel so cold
to the point of shivering
could you have me
could you save me
from this misery
this loneliness
just keep me warm
till the morning end
and the down begins
hold me tight where is no light
won't be my sunlight
to keep me safe
from that darkness
that dwells inside
and strikes at night
I'm tired of fighting on my own
you make me feel
like I'm not alone
so please stay by my side
even if it's just
one more night

They called you up
You let them in
They betrayed your trust
So never again
Will you let them in
Your walls stand tall
Above them all
You won't let them be
broken again
They broke you down once or twice
But never more
That's enough to shove them out the door
They aren't worth breaking for

Once they leave your life
they never quite leave your memory
like peter pan
never quite changing
or older
never quite coming home
lost in the neverland of memories
never to be seen again
just like a ghost

*******, mom and dad
You don't mean **** to me
All you cause is misery
You messed up bad
you lost the one chance you had
You lost your only child
Cause of you I never got attached
There's no coming back
I used to always walk on eggshells
Now there will be no heartache
If you go down with a heart attack
You were a handful
Always throwing tantrums
Make sure you always won
*******, mom and dad
You don't mean **** to me
All you cause is misery
You messed up bad
you lost the one chance you had
You lost your only child
Cause of you I never got attached
There's no coming back
I used to always walk on eggshells
Now there will be no heartache
If you go down with a heart attack
You were a handful
Always throwing tantrums
Make sure you always won
Don't compare me to you
I'm better than you will ever be

You ******* idiot
you ******* coward
you ******* gambler
you aren't going anywhere
this path will only lead you to despair
As you burn yourself right to the ground
It's your own **** habits that keep you this far down
You better stop before you dig yourself deeper
You've already taken and lost everything
You abandoned me, yourself, and your peers
Chasing your own selfish desires
What did you expect to hear?
I told you the truth
If you kept this up everyone would disappear
I thought that's what your ******* feared
I sure as hell know I didn't deserve it
what made you think any of that was okay or acceptable
nothing would make the **** you did worth it
did you lose your self-respect and manners
your not the person I remembered you to be
Maybe if you just listened to me
We would have avoided this ******* misery

How was I supposed to know
That you were hurting me so
You were the only one I had
you knew that I had nobody else
yet you still ripped my heart out
after so many years I gave you everything I could
I gave you my time my money and even my heart and yet you just threw it away
I just realized now that you're gone and you did nothing for me
I was just way too **** desperate for companionship so I let you walk all over me
and I thought it was genuine I thought you really cared
I didn't realize that you were never there
when I needed you what was I supposed to do I felt all alone then you got mad when I was sad and said how your stuff mattered more than me
I put aside everything for you
I would cancel my plans if you called I would do anything at the drop of a hat just so I can make you stay I put all of my own things out of the way I put you above myself because I had nobody else
I did everything I could how was I supposed to know that you would throw me away like that
That one day you would just drop me like a rock in the ocean just drift away like I was nothing
one day we were hanging out and having fun then the next day you blocked me I don't know what I did or what happened
but you have no idea how much it hurt
You said you wouldn't be like everybody else
You said you would stay you said I was important to you you said I meant something to you
But I guess that all was a lie
you weren't even there when I almost died
It was then I realized I'm truly disposable and replaceable
That no matter what I'll do I'll never be good enough I'll never have the right stuff to stand by someone's side

You don't gotta tell me twice cuz I was hypnotized
I just know when I looked into your eyes
I see the light brought into my life
you still make me happy even though it was temporary cuz one thing I am certain you won't cause me misery
Even though it's temporary you can remember the happy times we had cuz I might not be the one for you but it was nice while it lasted and that's okay I accept my face so everyone can just move on with it

its been a rough patch this year
so much has happened
but I wasn't prepared for you to disappear
it was so hard to hear
so hard to see
that you wanted nothing to do with me
were you full of glee
now that you got rid of me
what am I supposed to do
I thought I meant something to you
all the years that passed by
meant everything to me
but nothing to you apparently
you left me with nothing
not even a text goodbye
you have no idea how hard I wanted to cry
did it mean nothing when you were by my side
when I almost died
I thought we talked it out
going through the ups and downs
you said I meant something
you said I was important
was that all a lie
just the thought makes me die inside
even now I wanna cry
but I know I'm going to make it out alive
just know you won't be there to see me thrive
ill go back to living my own life
all alone and by my own
it seems to be set in stone

it's raining, it's pouring
it's four in the morning
the thunder rings as the man is snoring
it wakes him up and out of bed
till he slips and hits his head
there was no real warning
when he falls and the sheets turn red
it won't be long and he'll soon be dead
his family will be in mourning
but for now, they won't see
that he has gone missing
how long will his body wait
will it begin to dissipate
all we know is it's too late
to say those final goodbyes
no matter how hard they try
they can not turn back time

its been a rough patch this year
so much has happened
but I wasn't prepared
for you to disappear
it was so hard to hear
so hard to see
that you wanted nothing to do with me
were you full of glee
now that you got rid of me
what am I supposed to do
I thought I meant something to you
all the years that passed by
meant everything to me
but nothing to you
you left me with nothing
not even a text goodbye
you have no idea how hard I wanted to cry
did it mean nothing when you were by my side
when I almost died
I thought we talked it out
going through the ups and downs
you said I meant something
you said I was important
was that all a lie
just the thought makes me die inside
even now I wanna cry
but I know I'm going to make it out alive
just know you won't be there to see me thrive
ill go back to living my own life
all alone and by my own
it seems to be set in stone
all that I have known

I was raised in a loveless silence
Many days filled with violence
With no on by my side
I grew up wide eyed
In the shadow I couldn't see
What was truly missing
Not knowing what was supposed to be normal
Not knowing love
Or affection
Just being alone
All on her own
That little girl
That was forgotten by the world
And raised herself in the dark
Not knowing the true light
Not knowing love
She couldn't trust anyone
Not even herself
The things she saw
What she heard
Would break any child
And she lived believing it
It was normal to be broken
By the ones supposed to protect her
And help her grow
She couldn't get away
Until the one day she ran away

just trying to stop all the thoughts running through my head
they all seem to want me dead
I just want the silence
the peace and quiet
I feel like I'm going insane I can't keep it under control
I'm starting to lose myself my soul I can't keep my thoughts under control
I wanna die
I wonder if ever will stop
the pain inside
where it all hides
all the thoughts reside
can I please just run an hide
can I drink it all away
to finally feel okay
to hush the voices inside my head
I see their lies and they still hurt me
I don't know anymore so just please let me die