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Man 2d
Dreams that torment -
Between my chest
Is still her lance,
Driven squarely through my heart.
That circumstances were unfortunate,
I should wish for death absent my love.
Things ruined for myself
What!? You say you're tired of living,
well, I think I know what you mean
as I also don't regard myself being
particularly, at all now, very keen.

The last couple of years have taken their toll on me
so much so that its become obvious for any to see.
The affairs of this world are just one thing I've considered
but what are the things I've done which haven't delivered?
________
Written in 2023.
A reflection on my current health condition and well being.
Where is it you long to be
To be heard, seen, or loved
Or to be unnoticed, a sight no one sees
Hiding away, nestled far in some coved

What is it you hope to find
An answer or a reason
Doesn’t it mess with your mind
Or is it mundane as such another season

Who are you still clinging to
For a fool can be loyal as well
Do they even have a clue
Or are you too afraid to admit you fell

When will the time come
To the point where you don’t waste your life away
In your ears do you not hear the beat of the drum
Or have you run out of words to say

Is it a ramble or is it necessary
Look in the mirror is it me you see
Am I your adversary
Or am I what you could be
Each night I dream a deep blue sky
A place where only birds could fly
Each morn I lie awake
Wondering who else made that mistake

Many of men I’ve seen waste their dime
Trying to hold and buy back time
It’s a common misconception
Often laced with deception

For a wise man knows, it’s the foolish who ask
And it’s the blind who lead the mass
Many search and few find
But so is the many that falls behind

I myself have seen my eyes full of fire
Burning to know true desire
So where do I fit?
Yet who am I to question it

I could spend a lifetime is search of freedom
Only to be left with a sea full of conundrums
Of each problem to ever exist
And temptations I have to resist

So, I’ve become the fool at hand
While time slips through my fingers like sand
Now it's too late for me to understand
That it’s the devil that haunts a hungry man
Plans change,
It’s nothing strange.

People come,
Then they leave.

Like a carousel,
or a revolving door,

The ones we loved
come and go as
they please.

There’s no need
to worry, no need
to be torn.

It’s just that

We outgrew the
ones we thought
we knew,

And only holding on
to a select few.

It’s nothing we
did,

It’s not what we
chose.

It’s just the
realization

that part of
growing up

is finding who
we are too.
How long have you been here?
Not too long I suppose
I paused, looking up in a fear
And falling out of my hand, one red rose

I smiled back saying “long as the day”
The conversation went on
He soon left after we had nothing to say
Shortly after the sun was gone

The next day the same incident occurred
This time he need not bother to speak
For we both know for sure
Tis the fate of the weak

As I flew south, others went north
For me there was nothing left to stake
The others are still trying to find their worth
And I have nothing left but to wake
Today I lived
Not just once. But twice
Without knowledge to give

I felt many ways of pain
And seen twice the rainy days
So, what was there to gain

I climbed the mountain ranges
Sunk down to the ocean floor
But what was left to change

I grew up quick
For where I came from, you have to
So, I started my wall, brick by brick

Today I learned
Not everything works out
And so, my drive, continues to burn
Why am I here?
Why are you not?
Is that answer sincere?
It is and isn’t, just a thought

You may ask who is who, in this scenario
Well, I’m you and you’re me
Like audio on a stereo
I’m someone you’ll never see

I’m the answer to all
But the question to none
A slip in the crack as you may recall
Although my words weigh a ton

A question may appear for you to answer
Remember the right words
Or are you more of a free lancer
Don’t forget to catch every herd

Why am I here?
Why are you?
Was the answer sincere?
Or was it not true
Ghxstcxt Apr 2020
Can you feel it?
Can you feel the heat?
Can you feel the pressure in the atmosphere?
Or is that just me?
When did the calm disappear and my palms get sweaty?
****, I'm unsteady on my feet.
I've been flipped like a light switch.
Cool and collected I am no more.
The words I pitch to you are already formed without thought and will hit you full force.
Maybe I could've waited?
But anger's never procrastinated.
It's instant and ferocious.
I know this, you know this, we all know this.
But it doesn't help knowing in these briefest of moments.
A flash and its done, nobodys won.
Just two broken people with regrets of whats happened with a loved one.
What a shameful and painful time to be alive.
It almost hardens the heart,
It takes its toll on the inside.
It's something we can't plan for
We can only realise after the fact and apologise.
Even if the wound is still sore.
I'm sorry.
In that moment my mind was blinded.
Can you forgive me for that moment of unkindness?
Argument, anger, passion
The artwork a face
a mirror the frame
no portrait the same
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