those rainy day, gloomy doom moods still hit me,
the adrenaline of chasing a high even if it’s no good still gets me,
I still crave those moments of breaking the barrier and pushing limits,
self sabotage for the fun of it, to be reckless just because we’re here on this planet once,
as far as we know

the Wild in me still has legs that want to run
to feel and taste freedom like I can have whatever I want,
these days she’s just in bed by 8:30 having wild dreams instead

Dare I say,
Take me back to sweeter days.
No worries
To fight,
Nor sorrows
To woe.
Just waiting
For sun
And the fall of snow.
These little joys
Replenished my soul.
And now,
I yearn,
For thoughts of old.

'You will be okay'.
Four words that seem so fake.

To hear it,
Is common.
But to feel it,
Is rare.

Yet the ones that tell you,
Are the ones that care.

For the hope they hold will always be there.

My body,
Is here.
Yet my mind,
Is lost.
My soul,
Frozen,
Covered in frost.
And though joy exists,
I simply do not.
My brain
In a mist,
As my heart does rot.

In my world,
There is black and white.
Lots of fights,
Continuous cries.

But that's okay.

I get my paints,
And color the greys.
Turn white to yellow,

And finally create.

Put me in the shade in the middle of the day
Because I don't like the way the light hits my face
But in a light breeze when things aren't so hot
And there are clouds overhead in little white spots
Thats when I feel like I'm living the most
Because life is mostly sunny with a hint of the cold

I wounded myself
With what cuts you
To see if you would notice, that
You're not alone.
To see the world through your view, that
I might better understand you,
I lost myself
To see how to make it
Back onto the path.
What I saw;
No person was too far gone
That made love their epitaph.

Why?.
A question so repetitive,
It stifles my mind.

As the more I think,
The less I hide.

The more I speak,
The less I lie.

The more I feel,
The less I disguise.

For the more I live,

The less I am alive.

My truest darling,
I plucked a flower for you.
Vibrant,
And fragile,
Just like us two.

You were soft,
And supple,
Like these pretty petals.
I hold it closely,
Away from nettles.

I will water it daily,
On your behalf.
No matter if this breath,
Shall be my last.

And although you're beneath
The soil and sands,

This flower,
My angel,
Shall never leave my hand.