i used to think i was suffocating inside of a deep green forest where all i could see were pine trees, gloomy fogs and different paths to take.
sometimes i felt like i was in the bottom of an ocean suffocating and drowning in my sorrows as i let the water control my body.
other times i felt like i was suffocating in fire---in my childhood home that burned down.
i still feel like i'm suffocating now,
but i don't know whether it's the forest, the ocean, or the fire.
sometimes i believe i'm simply suffocating in the silence of my reality; who i am today, who i'm going to be tomorrow, and who i was yesterday.
i'm scared for what the future holds for me because the past took a part of my life that i will never forget and receive back.
i don't think i'm interested in living this life anymore because i barely survived the past, how will i survive the next?
i won't make it out this time.
i just know it.