I couldn't compare
The way your light brown eyes
Light the whole totality in me
As if nothing the light couldnt touch
It's filling up the darkness in me

And stop giving me the smile
That stops the ticking clocks
No matter how i beg to be in your forever
As i couldn't resist the tempation to live and let die in your embrace

I wouldn't want to trade
Your chilly touch
With a burning ember
Or any comfort for change
Let the frostbites seal me in your arms so i can stay and please, just stay

Its the way you move
And the way you talk
That takes me on a joy ride on my mortality

This is how your beauty is immortalized
When it is no longer in existence
Or when it is forgotten
By me or by you
At the end of the day
It is not how the moonlight
touches your enthral scars
Your best beauty is
How it brings out the best of me
Within you

Differing sins bicker
Amongst each other
As to
Who shall Permanently
Shape me,
After their ways
And
Until the end of my days.

Nay!
Let your ways
Oh Yahweh
Become my second nature
That I may breeze
Through
Tempation with ease.

River rushing from left to right
with all its unstoppable might
The only stellar source for sustaining life
plants and photosynthisis
the way this life really is

The sound of water
and the link between
mother and father
The rise and fall of the moonlit tides
by the light of night the pedals shine

Digital noises penatrate the morning stillness
as the bacon and eggs sizzle behind us
Coffee and camping to connect the sexs again
back to basics and simplicity
avoid the tempation
to loose yourself in the city

Rivers loose their natural flow
****** and restricted
divided by fear and dought
The wanting of
more and better
to keep us going

We should be sitting quietly
with an innocent unknowingness
the tree sap drizzles
as the wind whistles

Sky blue
Just a hue
I'd like to see you
Move through you
become you,
Sometimes I hate you
Where are you?

I saw you in a past life, but not tonight
Around you my soul becomes a fright,
So I take flight into the night
No destination in sight
Eventually I'll be alright
It happens during the day as well, I fight within myself,
watching you as if you're sitting on a shelf.

I should stay away from your wicked ways
I fight
tempation
to stay
away
every
single
day

you say yes other factors make you want to say no
you want to grow up others don't know
you try to change but they view you the same
this is your life and not playing all the mind games
you want a career not trying to get married or have kids
i feel that's the easy way out not for me or settling for less
you want to be more be better than what is given
you grew up know the day of power will be yours and you have risen
you've made good and bad decisions but learn the lesson of life
be right do right always be loyal to yourself before you do anything else
you've altered your ego to be accepted
you altered it back because you hated yourself
for being someone your not or meant to be
the ego is a power struggle within battling you when faced with sin and tempation

Well,
Ive done it again .


I am my own worst enemy,
Like im my worst friend.

Its like i am my own demon.
Plauging my own name.

How do i defeat this demon.
If its in my own body i wake.

I am my own demon.
Causing my own hell.
I cannot see a reason,
Is what it tells me well.

Sometimes i lose my angels,
They have to keep a range.

Thats because this demon,
Is in control and playing games.

But these games are not safe.
There dangerous, they can cause pain.

After every tempation implyed,
The sin just brings my bane.

Sorry to all whom i hurt.
Says the real me;
Hidden inside, restrained in chains.
While this demon runs a muck.
Thats my true pain.

Its like i am my own demon.
I hurt, again and again.
But the real me just wants love.
To give and feel, in the end.

How do i defeat this demon,
If the mirror says its me.

Because killing this demon,
Would seal me to pain, worse,
Than this purgatory.

They say Gods alive,
And that the Father , He will talk.

If ive heard any thing, its that with
My angels i will walk.

But how from all That they can protect me from.
Can the save me from this demon.
From which i wish to run.

The answer i know not,
But still i must fight with what i got.

A broken heart, racing mind and body of sloath

Mind circles thoughts.
Heart feels lost,
Body is weak and my spirit,
Feels wroth.

Im sorry to those ive hurt.
Says the real me,
The real heart.

But i just might end up there again,
Even though i hate its end.
It doesnt make friends..

Enemies will be sent,
But it just cant be helped at times,
Says the demon of such a wretch.

How do i defeat once again in life,
The demon that comes around.
If the real me just wishes silently.
Making not a sound.


Well, ive done it again

My delicate pen has a mind of its own
your name pops up as if it belongs
each single letter entices my heart
as I scribbled it,  thousand of times, it cannot part~

My paper got crumpled dropped up and down
thrown on the wall and fallen to the floor
your name followed me where ever I would go
your name was my love I wouldn't let you know~

I could feel your breath needing down my spine
your lips running along my jaw... making me sweat is all I know
I crave the feelings that follow me ....I knew you were mine
when you would fall off my fingertips into my brow...

Your **** eyes would tell me you want me now
but i was afraid to lick the sin from your lips... ohhh I would sigh
no matter how many times I pray to my God
your my tempation, I could never refuse~Oh My Oh My....

Your name was my only love, you kept coming up in my life
never followed the rules I knew, your a law I wanted to break
your my very sin, please come and help me give in
my muse is very much in love~with every single letter ....strife....

Your Name Was My Love...I dont want to win....
Please help me....I have to give in...

Debbie

Tempation, it is bitter
But so hard to resist;
If no one knows my own mind
But the Lord Almighty,
Then why is it so easy
For my worship to become a lie?

My family has endured me
My friends, they do not know me
And all in all, all I have
Is myself and Christ to help me.

I want to soar so badly
But my wings were clipped somehow;
My peers are all high in the trees,
While I'm down here on the ground.

It's a battle fought within me
Deep inside my soul;
A fight to the death,
The New Man fights the Old.

My dreams, they haunt and mock me
And the traits I want so badly--
Integrity, love, responsibility--
Somehow seem to evade me.

Temptation, it is bitter
And no one can resist.
We all know our own minds,
But then, so does the Lord.
Yet still, it is so easy,
For our worship to be a lie.

Crosshatched tower of black ropes
Spiral towards poofy marshmallow clouds
A tempation for each passing youth
To gather around in crowds
All together the creatures, they climb
Grasping rope and some stranger's limb
Bodies fall to the earth like potato sacks
No limits in order to win...

The voices of pain tourmenting him,

The voices of tempation destroying him inside and out,

The voices of his traumatised soul ripping his heart to shreds,

Images of the horrible situations of his past life,

The horrible voices of the ones who hurt him bouncing around his head

"Fight, Stay down, keep going, youre worthless, you never do anything right, youre strong, youre weak, youll never make it, save everyone, you cant even save yourself, stand strong, you will fall."

The voices that controverse eachother,

What should he follow,

Is he weak or is he strong,

Someone believes in him,

That voice of encouragement never fails him,

It always guides him right.

In a broad kindred of spirits collide,
Too each is each to own and then we reply.

For where art thou darker days? Tucked behind us, spread like paste. Beneath a new chapter is where it lays.

A folding eyelid above beholds.
Temperatures swell, tempation creeps, weather is cold.

Are we not our own or do we just do as we are told? Again into the fold, clouds gather ahead, I clinch tight to my soul.

It's just that Im really not a good person. But I keep following this glow. Into the dark again I go.

A strange connection between what you consider real or make belief.
A thin rope dangles above from the fall that balanced and centered me.

For all that I appreciate and sense to be. For life finally making sense to me. Im circled by Death, teaching me something I have yet to be.

Echo knows eternity. A perfect gift from me to you from the lights of which you were meant to be. You are to your ability, able to be. Deep within your reach is where your meant to be...

10:50 pm, another beer-holding sorority selfie on Instagram.
I shut my phone.  I clench my fist.
I look up to the man that tried to raise me
as he raises a shot class in front of my face-
then my brother continues after.
The lingering smell of liquor on my nose
makes it feel harder to live.
See, I like to tell myself I've never done hard drugs
but then I am reminded of the days I wanted to mask the pain.
Take a paintbrush over all the misery-
and the bottle seemed to be my muse.
& as the alcohol becomes the inspiration for this piece
my hands begin to shake and my jaw begins to clench
and I can feel my mouth yearning for the taste one more time-
people don't understand addiction.
They don't understand when the problem becomes their life
they don't understand how quickly it can ruin you.
I thought I was just having fun
everyone drinks right?
Until one night I was faced with someone
who said something backhanded to me
so I threw a metal bat at his head.
I missed.
Until one night I was throwing myself at people
who probably didn't even want me for me
but for what I had underneath-
Until one night I was face down in my pillow weeping
because I had no one to drink with-
weeping because the alcohol was nowhere to be found
panicking because the emotions that needed to be addressed
began ******* my insides and making the anxiety
creep it's way back into my mind and into my stomach
until panic attacks became routine for me night after night after night.
& not even two weeks after I had surgery
I tried to drown my pain in a bottle in a room full
of people I thought I loved because I couldn't wait.
I began to forget and the last thing I remember-
was being face to face with my toilet confessing my secrets
via projectile *****-
I didn't think this sickness could happen to me
because I was so "in control".
Three days after that I was still ******* hungover.
A week after that the temptation led in and I tried to drink
again and again and again and when I couldn't
the anger came abrupt and the anxiety took over
I was a basket case that took pride in my tolerance.
I was masking what I didn't want anyone to see-
Every time I drank my insides would turn sour
and the sickness would overcome my desire to drown.
& if it wasn't for the headaches and the hangovers
and the people telling me what I didn't want to hear
It would still probably be an issue-
I lost a lot those years, even myself.
The bottle made me a persona of a person
just a piece that interprets her surroundings
I was a walking metaphor in a world full of short stories-
and I made a sonnet out of my struggle
with 14 bottles and ten syllables of labels
I put on display so everyone could interpret me.
I'm 20 now and I've been sober for 5 months
and it's sad to me when I have to say
that's something I pride myself on
but I do and I am thankful.
Addiction can be anyone-
with anything.
You just have to watch because those hands of yours
can hold on tight to anything that makes you feel alive
like liquor or cigarettes or the **** rips to your lips
but nothing makes you feel more alive-
than actually dealing with life.
That's where I found myself-
in the corners of my mind I never wanted to reach
in the parts of my memory I didn't think I could touch-
I'm 20 now I finally feel like myself again for the first time
since I turned 13, since before all the memory.
There are times when tempation will lead me to the edge of sanity
and try to push me over so I fall back into the hole I dug for myself-
but I am no longer weak,
no longer clinging to the addictions in my mind
no longer clinging to the negativity that surrounds me.
I am a delicate flower and in the winter I may wither up
and want to die-
but in the spring you will see me re-sprout
this time I will let the rain wash over me
and realize it is needed for growth
and I will blossom.

Thoughts
Simple but not
Each time my mind forms that image
The fluidity of the imagination
It became you
As each time you came to be
A thorn grows
It may be long,short, fine or thick
But its still a thorn
The more the feeling blossom
The more the thorns in my heart flourish
The line was drawn
But the forbidden tempation
Of loving
Never went away
My dear sheep all i could do now
Is watch as you find the other you
Each time I turn
To look at another you
Its not the same
If the pace was slower
Much much slower

Come back to me dear
Don't get lost in tempation
I know it's easy to lose yourself
In the midst of frustration
But now you've drifted too far
And your spirit has fallen
This interal battle
Is becoming way too common
I listen to you talk and
It's like you're a stranger
It's creating an obstacle and
It's putting us in danger
I just want to see that beautiful smile
Back on your face
Because when you're not okay,  
I'm not okay and in that time
We are words misplaced
Now we're both lost adrift
Wandering the same empty sea
And when you finally find yourself
That's when I'll find me

bnnCONTENT

Getting Priorities Right...................................................1
Words of Importance......................................................2­
Israel , God's Special Nation .........................................3
Three Men Crucified.......................................................4­
The parable of the Sower................................................5
The Tempation of Jesus...................................................6
The Man With Super Long Finger Nails......................7
Morning Manna,"CastYourBread..................................8
Heaven o Hell/Heaven Only a Prayer Away...............9
Where Are Thine Accusers? ..........................................10
Kept In His Holy Name..................................................11
In the Beginnng, God Created.......................................12
Four Men and a Blanket..................................................13
Danie­l's Prophecy.........................................................­....14
The Rider On the Black Horse........................................15
Jacob, A Prince With God................................................16
One Man -Rom.5:12-14.....................................................­17
Hosea, The Adultros Prophet..........................................18
Atheism, Agnosticism etc.................................................19
Make New Beginnings......................................................2­0
Love of Money-Root of All Evil.......................................21
Where Are the Nine?.........................................................22
­Father Forgive Them.........................................................23
W­hat Happened In the  Garden......................................24
The beliver's Body, 10 String Ivbnsrtament.......................25
Noah, God's Man of the Hour.....................................,,,,26
Grace............­.................................................................­......27
Last Words of Deacon Stephen.......................................28
Cain Went Out From the Presence of God....................29
God Knows All..............................................................­....30
Joshua and Caleb............................................................­...31
      What Is Faith?
Abraham and Issac liers....................................................32
Samso­n Oh Samson...........................................................­.34
The World System...........................................................­...35
The Healing of Captain Naaman..................................... 36
The Singing Duet In Prison................................................37
Mary Magdalene Seeking Jesus.........................................38
The Next World Wide Global Event.................................39
Bachler Bo Gets Married.....................................................40
Th­e Night Before Calvary...................................................41
    ­    A Name Known By the Wold
Five Kings Trapped In aCave............................................42
Peter Walking On Water..................................................... 43
      Peter, a Man Who Laughed At Fear
Philemon....................................................­............................44
The Prayer Ministry of the Holy Spirit..............................45
When God Laughs...........................................................­.....46
'Faith and Fear.............................................................­..........47
        It Is Appointed
Jesus Casts Out Demon.........................................................48
­Speaking In Tongues..........................................................­...49
Johnathan, Friend of David..................................................50
I Will Guide Thee.............................................................­......51