Back at it again holding pads
Went fishing doing all the things
I said had my life on hold due to health
Work was an escape to be distracted
Taking in the scenery the world intriguing
Smiled because things happen
Did what others said couldn't be done
Being extra and do more is rewarding
Strong in faith no time for hate
Trying to see and do it surp of the moment
Sometimes it better than imagine
Other times it's a work in progress
Before money was a limiting issue
Now time is a factor learning to manage better
Finding balance for everythingin life Neglecting things that matter saving up
Making things seem important
Getting less in return feeling cheated
You can change but some remain the same

Sometimes is normal but shouldn't be
You respect it but disagree breaking free
Changing the old way make it better
Losing yourself in the process
Adding some ***** to the persona
Being yourself and caring more than most
A good guy turned seen as a heel
Asking questions trying to understand
Having an opinion standing on moral ground

Pondering ideas letting them go
Asking why can't that be me?
Does it matter does anyone care?
The to do list grew and full
Started seeing it and making it a reality
Make it fun heart all in or nothing
Trying to make something outta nothing
Sharing fun stories to make people laugh
Storytelling getting lost in the moment
Reliving the story from the past
Triggering old emotions and feelings

Hard to move on something new
Looking back is the worse
Anxious to go back to what was known
Time apart dealing with the pain
Able to move on and grow
Coping with emotions that are pent up
Feelings overwhelmed not going numb
Broken heart emploding within
Failed love drank some ***
Feeling like a **** over this loss
Moving on to new something fresh
Healing from transplant surgery
Speeding through to recovery
Old friends in the heart like family
Memories and thoughts looping
Collected to escape tragic loathing
New ones easier to depart from m
More lessons gained  from a loss
Wins and victories lived for a short time
Onto the next causing more struggle
Not sure what to do next clear the mind
Wandering such a process to de-stress

The people that hurt you
Made you stronger head up
Protect your heart stay truthful
All the betrayal ended it all
Kept you loyal to yourself
Tears wiped away healing
The emotionless cold stare
Recovery is a processes
Setting goals to achieve
Back to grind find a way

Obsessed with work it broke this heart
Showing up do the job and going home
Getting a life outside of this old building
Reaching out to old friends  
Should meet new people to befriend
Most have kids or married
Hated being the third wheel
Doing my own thing always mattered
Being my own person on the go
No one speaks on my behalf
I don't belong to anyone rolling solo
Sometimes it feels right filled with doubt
Once it goes wrong ready to escape
It all fades away miss what was
Not caring about what it has become
A failed mess Obsessed with the best
Stuck settling for the worse getting less

The day it all came out All the anger
You loved the job but all the bs rules
Contradicting double standard was infuriating
Respect for the older gentlemen but those rules trapped in your mind
Never good enough maximum effort no emotions
Giving your all your everything all heart no glory
Determined to win a rigged game
Trying to be perfect stopped by flaws
Never complimented or given props
Always reminded the mistake the mistake always pointed out
Every flaw noticed made all the effort lose value
Stopped looking for a approval tool charge
The only one doing the work going strong blocking out the bs from the lazy