under construction
this new thing
that we’ve built
covered by
a hovering
obstruction
of guilt

the last time
i felt anything
even close to this
was
never

i want to squish
those bratty lips
into a pucker
like a fish
and give you
an awkward,
but hilarious
kiss
and even though
we’ve not yet
touched
it’s your face
and smile
and voice
that i always miss

this heart
in my chest
says that it
likes you best
and who am i to argue?
why should i
try to protest?
i must confess
that my life
and my mind
are a constant mess
i don’t know if
i’m a damsel
but i’m
most certainly
in distress

****, i really like you
i really want you
i crave
to feel your embrace
to look into your eyes
and rub my face
against your face
to bite your lip
and give you
a taste
i promise not to let
a single
drop
of your
worth
go
to waste

i actually want to live
because
there’s so much
i want to give
there’s so much
i want to share
with you
and the world
when it feels
like just yesterday
i didn’t ******* care
i didn’t think
i could go anywhere
but down
and kept hoping
to soon
end up
in the ground

but here i am singing
and smiling
and doing what i love
with you in my mind
and my heart
giving me
something to dream of

*******, you *******

i love you

I can’t reach you, you far off,
you unborn, you yet to come.
I can’t reach you, touch you.
converse and engage you.
I can’t reach you, embrace you,
you beholders beyond my borders.
But my love invested,
my ripples,
in time, just might.

Reaching out for great things
Even when they are far
Your hands might be small
But your mind has no bar

Seeking out rare things
May be bright as a star
Your eyes may be keen
But it might be better afar.

Who paid me to read Dostoyevsky?
Who paid me to read Solzhen-itsyn?
-no one, and then me, I paid me,
for having some idea,
should ever cause such a time as this:

Synch, Long Now, novel actuality,
down in the epi-stem logic, init
function
enough,

breathe and fret not next breath,
rest assured,
professional care has been taken,
we all become ready to make peace,

previously unthinkable, rights, made
possible whole otherwise, other tongues,

essential utterances eventually all blend,
and we believe the algorythms rhyme truth,
I'll go rhythms tug your muse,

mojo,
samesame gnosishit gnosisnot,
spirit breathes,

spit it out,
feel it being, said as good as done,
once,
upon a certain time,
and in this certain place, we come

hear wholey all she wrote, she wrote
on the wall at Delphi junction,
know:
your scale, measure, worth, weight, whole self.
your appetites are yours to hold true to good.
your owned certainties are your maddest bits.

~
So where did you go?
Where in daydream tarnation are we?
     If only you could see my exodus
     and relent

Where are you now?
Matters of blood and connection
forming at the mouth
we are the fabrication
      --an image apart from ourselves

To break is something sacred
in the Morse code of brake lights
     through time stained windows
     through a thousand contractions
the dead are getting younger

If only you could see me
walk into the blackness
not to build a fire
       but melt, wander, disappear
       and relent
       relent
       relent
~