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Kayla Feb 2020
Medications
If I take the medications
That the doctors say will fix me
Will they actually fix me
Or will they just **** me up more
Make me more insane
Than I already am
#medication #****** #insane #help
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Retro Dec 2018
Untitled
My breath hitched as I let go of her hand.

I let her go.
She looked back and all I could do is walk away.
...she didn’t care.
She never did.

And guess whose fault it is to think she did?
#sad #depressed #depression #sadness #suicide #suicidal #******
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Cana Dec 2018
Plans
I got lost in a slew of plans.
Let's go here, let's do that.
You can come too, wait you can't.
Ok fine, i'm sure it'll be ok

It wasn't
Too many plans.
Overlapping
#socialising #friends #plans #******
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Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Dungeon
I am feeling lower than ever before
In my head I hold leaden weights
Think I need professional help
Emotions ignored become hard to navigate

Push down pain a little longer
Numb wounds for awhile
Gulp lumps of uneasiness
Conceal misery with a phony smile

Heart broken and bleeding
Hidden from all who look
I have mastered the art of composure
Face an unreadable book

Quiet night is tense and dim
Begging me to sneak off and play
Think I might cave in this one time
I'm scared I won't be able to get away

Under covers I hide in bed
Hoping I will not be found
By weakness and uncertainty
I lay motionless without sound

Trying to sort my issues
Organization isn't really my thing
Prefer to shove difficult subjects in a box
Lock out of sight so I can avoid the sting

Discovered something dull inside me
I found a tool sharper for out
Condemned the skin once considered home
It is easier to not think about

I'm told intensity only worsens with time
A smile hideously glued
Energetic as dying muscles will allow
Wild heart now meek and subdued

Memories will not depart
Echoes of voices loved then lost
Brighter still, rotating faces
Seasons changing sunlight to frost

My head has become a dark dungeon
Trapped there with my dirtiest sins
Watching mistakes as they rattle rusted bars
Capturing worst thoughts caged within
Sometimes my head is a quiet empty house painted white and others it is a crowded prison, dimly lit, dingy, filthy and loud.
#life #brain #jail #addiction #****** #thoughts #dungeon #head #dark
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mitus Feb 2018
Just a Kiss
Just a kiss, buttercup
Remember not to **** me up.
Maybe it’d be best, to promise
Just one kiss.

Strangers after all don’t have business with each other.
That’s what mother
Said.
It will always wander in my head.

But little by little
My hands would fiddle
Every single **** time I saw you.
But knowing you’d never be able to come through.

Our promise broke and one kiss led to two.
Then three.
And so forth.
God, I shouldn’t have trusted myself with you.

The last time our lips felt each other
Was when your girlfriend caught us under your covers.

She came by with a surprise
But left with numerous lies and sobbing eyes.

You yell at me.
“Stupid ***** couldn’t keep her mouth shut.” Yell he.

I too, left with sobbing eyes.
Then despise.
And a part of me dies.

Ever since we stopped this secret
My weakness
Is you.
But I can’t do this,
I have to stop thinking about your kiss.
The thoughts continue to spew.

This is wrong.
I should have realized sooner you were just playing a puppet’s song.
#kiss #****** #strangers #sob #weak #secret
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Lexi Nov 2017
Untitled
YOUR A **** UP

Disappointed.
Failure.
Hatred.
Unlovable.
Stupid.
Immature.
D­isgraceful.
**** UP.

There isn't any way around it. You are such a **** UP.
You ruined everything. Nothing is savable.
Where did you go so wrong?
How did you get caught?
******* it you stupid girl. Wake Up.
YOUR NOTHING.
You ****** up, now you must pay the consequences.
Whatever they may be.
#****** #disappointed #failure #unlovable #stupid #disgraceful #immature #nothing
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Emily Rene Nov 2017
Sixty Nine . Read Me
I miss how we used to be,
So vibrant, so honest, so wild & free

I miss the way you would understand,
Listen carefully, & be there when I needed a hand

I miss our long, random talks at night,
Our private conversations, our silly little fights

I miss the way you could read my mind,
Know what to say, when words are hard to find

I miss the way you could brighten my day,
Make me forget the mistakes, make the pain go away

I miss how you made me laugh,
I hate how you make me cry

Loved how you said you'd always be there & so did I,
But to you, everything that I say is just a lie
I ****** up, but what's new?
#love #broken #lost #****** #memories #wishing #praying #hoping #longing
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Sofia Emma Aug 2017
What color are your eyes?
You said you had the song "***** Little Secret" stuck in your head all day. It's been in mine now, too, for two days. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We're friends now. Friends again. Of COURSE I never stopped loving you but it was six years ago I've moved on! I really have though. I'll always love you, but I have moved on. We're friends now! It's just a couple drinks and then you go home. A drink among two friends who used to be in love. We've seen each other over the years since then! It was fiiiine! ... in a bar surrounded by ten of my friends... why wouldn't it be fiiiine!... to have a couple drinks with your ex while his girlfriend is out of town it's INNOCENT. But then you missed the last train and we were both kind of drunk and I'm not sure at what point I found you mostly naked in my bed and I asked you "what color are your eyes?" as I looked into them when you were on top of me between kisses. "Hazel" you said. "I remembered them being blue." "This can't happen again, she can't know, you can't tell her." "I promise I wouldn't do that to you..." I really won't. But. Why did I remember your eyes being blue? While I was looking into them, for a brief moment, maybe I loved you again?
I made a huge mistake and wish I could go back in time but I can't.
#cheating #mistakes #ex #love #*** #drunk #****** #regret
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