Since when did life become this hard?
When did this battle start?
It felt like I had come so far,
When did this hurt become a scar?

Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then I think.
Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then just a bit.
So damaged, (damaged, damaged)

I can hear echoes in my head,
Screams from the darkness underneath my bed.
I'm trapped in chains, caged in my brain.
A fire of rage, a storm of rain.
A soul to claim, can't escape.

Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then I think.
Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then just a bit.
So damaged, (damaged, damaged)

This river of blood,
is like a raging flood,
tearing apart the arteries,
In my heart.
All this pain, is like a train,
crashing through my veins.

Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then I think.
Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then just a bit.
So damaged, (damaged, damaged)

The suffering, is suffocating my soul
I'm shaking, breaking
Think this is the breakdown,
They were talking about.
And now I can't get out,
Of this room full of doubt.

Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then I think.
Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then just a bit.
So damaged, (damaged, damaged)

©2017 Written By Benji James

I am broken,
Come name your price

Hidden in the shelter
of a lonely life

Come choose your savage
See their perfect disguise

You could never love me
Cause I live in these lies

I am damaged goods
I’m misunderstood

I come in the perfect packaging
Wrapped up in severed ties

Stamped with a sticker on top
Come, name your price.

I am damaged goods
I am damaged goods
I am damaged goods.

I am lonely
In this sea of maddening sounds

I am hurt
From those people who aren’t around

I break my happiness
At every chance I get

And then I’ll ask myself
Why I feel so depressed

I am damaged goods
I’m misunderstood

I come in the perfect packaging
Wrapped up in severed ties

Stamped with a sticker on top
Come, name your price.

I am damaged goods
I am damaged goods
I am damaged goods.

I can’t get out
Fromt this crippling doubt

I feel so empty without
You there beside me

I need somewhere to go
Somewhere in the great unknown

Somewhere I can be alone

I am damaged goods
I’m misunderstood

I am damaged goods
I’m misunderstood

I come in the perfect packaging
Wrapped up in severed ties

Stamped with a sticker on top
Come, name your price.

I am damaged goods
I am damaged goods
I am damaged goods.

I wish I could travel back in time
   to meet my 13 year old self
and tell that confused
                         gorgeous child
to run away.

Run away, pretty girl
run away from the boys that
are trying to use your body

Run away from that razor
run away from that bottle of pills
and do your best, use all of your will
to stop that soul from aching
without needing to bleed.

You don't have to
fix anyone.
You just have to survive.

Run away from that screaming
                  in your head.
Drown it out with poetry
                             and music
until you either
lose your hearing
or
you lose yourself
in sweet soul feeding spreading goodness

Run away from your father
                     until he learns how
                        to love you.


Run away from those girls
until you are strong enough
to realize that they're
so wrong about you.

Run away, gorgeous girl
Run away from all the
people that have hurt you

Run away from all the people that want you to fix them
Just take a deep breath and realize that you can't fix anyone but yourself

Run away from the guy who can't commit to you
Run away from that ****** up kid that wants to put his fingers inside you
Run away from that girl that calls you fat

Run away from your own ****** feelings

You're just not old enough to deal with them yet
No one should have to deal with that

Not you, you gorgeous scared little thirteen year old.

I think maybe,
      
                           just maybe
if I could tell her that

that maybe I wouldn't
                      feel so ****** up
                                  today.

because no 13 year old knows
            how to deal
                      with the things I
                                faced when I
          was 13 years old.

and no 20 year old woman knows how to fix the scars from a ****** up past, one
that has damaged this skin, damaged that ability to trust, damaged damaged damaged ****** up that ability to let somebody in, damaged this heart so much that it's forgotten how to feel, turned off those feelings because they never lead to good things, damaged the part of me that knew how to be happy. damaged the part of me that had hope. damaged and ****** it all up beyond repair.

Because I tried for years to
keep my head above water
only to realize
             that I drowned a
long time ago
                
and I think
it might be too late

to pull myself out

of this black lake
of self infliction
and pain addiction
and
give myself

a chance at living.