I wake up at morning light
with no more will left to fight
I look in the mirror at a face
I've never been able to embrace
I told my self yesterday, todays a new day
but always knew that was a cliche
I don't want pain, I want to be better
but night comes and then I surrender

a hit here and a hit there
a sip here and a sip there

maybe this hole is deeper than I remember

I love myself in a toxic way
but I still love myself
right?