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Sep 2021
A sky of blue above
Miles of dirt below
A world of everything between
Beyond that?
I don't know

One foot in front of the other
I stumble through existence
When I began I never imagined
I would travel such a distance

Caring too much about the wrong things
Not enough about what I should
Mixed up from every angle
Feel bad but am told I'm good

Friends fade further from me
As the years steal memories
Moments indistinct and grey
Wishing I could make time freeze

Take me back to certainty
Before life got so off track
When the world was full of color
Instead of shades of black

Now depression is my ball and chain
Following wherever I go
Heavy and awkward to carry
Have no choice but move slow

It is easier to just stand still
Than to pull with all my might
So everything changes around me
While I waste away night after night

I see smiles on faces all around
But when I paint one to match
It just doesn't look the same
And it wills me to detach

Hope used to sit in the palm of my hand
Now I grab and it's not there
In it's place is a sticky substance
I've come to learn is despair

Fall apart over and over
Every time I manage to sew my seams
Doesn't take long for a stitch to break
And out pours joy in little streams

Until I am left deflated and empty
Wondering where I went wrong
I could conquer my misery
But I've found I'm not that strong

Wading through a sea of distress
Shore further with each crashing wave
So I carry on way over my head
Too deep for anyone else to save
I'm a good swimmer but my arms are getting tired
Amanda Kay Burke
Written by
Amanda Kay Burke  29/F/Alaska
(29/F/Alaska)   
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   Amanda Kay Burke
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