There is no rest tonight
I sleep… But I do not rest
I dream that you are being eaten from the inside out
When I wake and look into your sunken eyes… Hug your frail body...
I know that MY dream is YOUR reality
There is no rest for you
There is no sleep for you

I dream you are drowning
And even though you grab my arm for me to pull you out
The weight of your heart, tainted blood in your veins, and gathered regrets in your mind are too heavy for us both

But your head remains afloat…allowing you to breathe
So you let me comfort you by holding your hand
And you hold your mouth open…only allowing a sustenance that your mind has tricked you to believe is salvation
But its poison…a twisted substance that tangles itself in your mind, attaching itself to your body…
I remain holding your hand, because in the depths of your sunken eyes, I still see the glimmer of your spirit

I dream that you are being destroyed from the inside out…almost every night
And you are
Your thoughts and emotions are continually triggering and misfiring
Sharp and ricocheting through out your whole being
Destroying you, leaving you aching and in pain
Your solution…to go numb and distract from actually healing

I dream you are choking
And you are,
Pills, Acid
Corroding and dissolving more than just your physical being
Your turmoil becoming sludge
Just wanting to escape from your body
Getting trapped in your lungs and throat as you cry out for help

I dream you are suffocating
And you were
A dark shadow found its way in front and on top of you
A heavy blanket of darkness so dense you had no way to breathe

And somehow, through these dreams and in our waking moments together
You always found a way to extend your arm out, reaching for help
I’d grip your hand tighter and tighter every time
Your grip feeling stronger the every next time

And somehow…your reality began to change, and my dreams…my nightmares began to fade
Somehow… you found your way…back to us …
Away from the grips of your addiction
Closer to love, light and clarity of your life
Your Mind
Your Heart
Your Spirit

Tonight we rest,
Tonight we sleep,
Tonight I know you will actually dream.