everything hurts
but not in the sad way you think
everything hurts because nothing wonderful is curated without a little bit of pain
the pain is the fuel which leads you to light
or maybe that’s all my life has ever been
a journey back to heaven
i always mix up anxiety and adrenaline
everyday is another day i can’t believe i made
i was born a melody but life transitioned me into a serenade
love is the only thing that overcomes the pain
i live for glimpses of it
it passes through fast like the sparkles when the sun hits the sea
and in those moments i feel free
the warmth i felt for all the times my heart sang
it hurts to use my senses at times
i ache and i cry
but i know bliss will soon tell me why
a kiss for today, and a kiss for forever
for now i love the universe until he tells me it’s time

two visions collide
your hand in mine
you asked if you could see me
end of the night
going against time
frozen gaze
our touch escalates
i asked you to kiss me
you asked if you could please me
prayer hands tattooed on your neck
i caressed with no regrets
now i’m on my knees as if i’m praying
but instead you receive
i see you in my dreams
you cradled my face and reminded me i was beautiful
fusion
optical conclusions
it’s crystal from this point on
maybe this won’t last
but for now it’s not gone
residue from you tattooed on my soul
it helped me to bloom
you’re etched in my imagination
blue hues always lead me to you
it feels electric
my heart beats for you
for now anyway

instead of being intertwined we’re the farthest we’ve ever been
i chose to look within
you always chose the life of sin
i stopped trying to be perfect and had to partake
i too wanna eat and have my cake
what was once golden has turned to rust
i understand why they say nothing lasts forever
cause everything is so mother ******* fallible
i had no choice but to pick up the pieces all by my lonesome and gained confidence with each step and each breath
what once felt heavy is now being forgotten
oh how lovely life can be when you forget
thank you for breaking my heart because i would’ve never had the strength to let you go
each event which you performed against me pushed me further and further away
from the love i kept in my heart for you
it seems to have disappeared and i can’t find it these days
i still believe in love
i still feel the warmth and always hope for the best
life is just a test
it’s sifting and then we’re blessed
this will be the last poem i ever write about you
i might’ve misconstrued the motion
i promise to write about a new love from here on out
just disregard this notion

if i could go back to that day…. i would
not to captive your smile or remember what you first said to me
by now you’re dead to me
if i could go back, i would hold the hands of time tight
memorize each tick
expose some more light
i would look you in the eyes with your hands ready to receive
and ignore your existence
possibly make you bleed
i can just imagine how free i would be
if i could go back i would’ve never given you the time of day
i gave it like a gift so freely and without dismay
i wish i could go back and ****** it from your hands
my heart, my time and everything in between which continued to stand
someday my heart won’t feel so heavy from regret
everyday it feels like a reset
metamorphosis amongst the pain
i’m keeping sunshine on my brain
i take everything in stride cause it’ll come full circle
someday that love i gave will come back
i find my peace in that

swallowed by the night
i forgot to say it was good
i’ve been searching for myself
but who i once was is dead
sometimes she cries out from the ashes of my memories
i gotta let her burn
let the world turn
she’ll always have a friend in me
time passes so fast and each moment i learned to cherish because the end is inevitable
everything in hindsight will soon be forgotten
hidden in a trance
i’ll save the last dance for when love finally understands
my wounds yearn for relief
a gentle caress filled with genuineness
i’ve felt the universes kiss before
on my wrists and on my lips
don’t tell me when it’s over
just tap me on the shoulder and wave goodbye
life has always been a “let’s try another time”
hide behind the hours chimes
in the night i forfeit my will to cry
help me find the reasons why my hands can’t grasp the hour glass as before
i watch the specks hit their doom
it’s always a constant rhythm that puts us in a better room
life hasn’t beat me yet
but time has something up its sleeve
as long as i dream a little dream
they can’t catch me

i tried to tell the time
but he said he wasn’t mine
there’s a fine line between lust and love
i think it’s silver lined  
at times triggers can be unkind
but i out talk the thoughts that lead me to you
we can’t go back and change the pictures that we drew
time is merely a concept
but what else have we to measure our experiences by?
the lies we tried to hide and the smiles we tried to keep tucked inside
time is like the wind and we can’t see what it may do
but one day we’ll see how everything is different
all the things which we’ve perceived will equal up to the things we outgrew
the days pass by within a blink
and things change without the time to think
time is but a man made construct
but if we treat time as though it won’t pass by
we’ll be left with broken answers and pockets full of why
as i get older i cherish every moment
even if it’s not the sweetest second of bliss
i’ll look back and remember i conquered the unimaginable
then life and death will kiss

empty minded
i feel bombarded
reality doesn’t feel real
what did i miss?
it all feels like one big gap
is this really the aftermath?
forced anger causes amnesia
hating you seemed like a better idea at the moment
i thought i was immune to the past
and now every day that passes, i see you in the cracks
i tried to bury it deep
i gave it to the forgotten to have for keeps
my memory it seeps  
into the depths which set me apart
from unraveling
i’m traveling and moving along
your ghost follows me like the wind
each thought of you feels like a sin
i never thought about the world without you
i did it for a while
but to continue on?
it seems a little hard to grasp
i’m trying to find the words to say
i’m hoping we cross paths along the way
i tell myself to let it go
anything worth having is free flow
memories of you while i’m in a cocoon
distant lullabies
and the luminous moon
remind me of the nights well spent
we were both bent but also in love
i don’t want this push to coexist with another shove
maybe i’m just tired
i’ve been tired for a while now
counting the laughs
counting the tracks
i hope you make it back
our journeys parted
but we’re back to where we started
longing for each other as we always do
hello again
maybe we can be friends?