Substitutions are short term solutions
To problems that we cannot resolve
Even though I am human, I need to evolve
My hand is not my companion
It doesn't ask me how happy I am
The twitch happens and its time to go again
Is this how sobriety is supposed to play out?
Kicking ***** to the curb, only to receive
In return an obsession, over my depression
To try and write down life's lessons?
Yet with all these journals half empty
What exactly am I saving for me?
Disappointment, because I missed the
Appointment to my own creativity?
I do have a proclivity to playing out
My own self-fulfilling prophecies
Oh well, that's just me

You're such a *******
Do you really think you're legit?
Why do you tell yourself these lies?
Can you not see it in their eyes?

My mind can be so intrusive
Making self worth ******* elusive
I spend time alone
Hoping these thoughts throw me a bone

Why are compliments so scary?
Especially from the ones who are merry
Instead I thrash them like a swordsman's parry
Thinking they've mistaken me for Harry

I got money in the bank
But no money on me
Putting pen to paper helps me see
Honestly be whoever the hell you wanna be

Are we all fake?
Are we all getting baked?
Are we all looking?
Are we all searching?

For a simple solution
To shake the focus from this illusion
Finally looking up to the sky
Stars shining and twinkling in your eyes

Or is it just the glare
Pining over your cell phone in despair
Comparing yourself to others
Moments that look like perfection

Also lead us in a misdirection
Down a path of self doubt
All because of some dude's clout
Putting the most in every post

To answer all the above questions
We be searching for the real
And be looking to get baked ;)
At least that's this ****** dude's opinion

Heartbreak hurts more than just the heart
It's a terrible thing to see love fall apart
Tragedy that unfortunately followed me
Now all I have left is a memory

My issues alone did not capsize this ship
Sinking from the beginning, doomed was the trip
Overwhelming ideas of how to live
Shiver from the thoughts " I can't deliver"

Ensuing selections of expensive directions
Lead to the apprehension of my vice, shots poured over ice
I wasn't always nice, never followed my own advice
To her I had failed, to me I had paid the price

Love left the soul as I began to dig the hole
Rock bottom just meant no more progression of the regression
Arise, I set my eyes upon the light, not so bright
Steady climb, I leave behind the doubt that's been in my mind

Time and love for I created the will to try
To start anew begins with you
I'm not a coward, I'm moving forward
Toward a future the will include the inimitable her

Working on the tenacious tendency
To reduce myself and render me ruined
Describing the dictating feelings is dire
Sometimes I wish to go forth and set myself on fire

The firewater was a necessary fuel
For I can only burn from the inside out
The doubt, the drought of positivity
Were kindling enough to ignite the fright

That fear was a mere beginning
The story passed down from generation to generation
Resulting in a confrontation, an activation
Sometimes things must be incinerated

Then it can start again, become educated, bloom
"I hate myself" turned to " let's change thyself"
Laborious toil upon the charred soil
Brought forth the grounds in which to root

They say April showers bring May flowers
Though it's never told how hard it is to conjure up the storm
It takes something from within, the want of a win
Only me, myself and I can decide to arise