You're an angel
I'm the one who's fallen
And I'm bound
To take you down
Where you don't belong

©2024

In fits of rage
And bouts of pain
I recall all you said to me
And I pound my fists
Against your memory
Till they bruise and bleed
And I concede
And you succeed
In breaking me finally
But in a twist of fate
That's what it took to be freed

©2024

Make sure to be sure whatever you're into is worth your investment
Feel free to absolutely and completely question any involvement
And you might as well entertain all thoughts on forfeit
I expect you to do so at any moment anyway so go for it
I'm so use to it, being the easy one to forget,
That I notice it before you mention it and am already over it
It's not genuine grit,
It's just avoiding a downfall that hasn't bested me yet
Even though it's a who's who when it comes to who's counterfeit
And I'm sure you're surely as surprised as I am I bet
When the breakdown is broken down and we're all faced with what we're gonna get

©2024

I was able to fool myself there for a little bit
The fraudulent thought was constant
  However, my penmanship captured a consistent internal beratement
But every new piece is the same 'ol shiit
It just pours out different
Duplicate content no matter the faucet
But it's only ever water coming outta the spigot
Forming from the origin of a recurring script
With only a singular way to interpret
You're only going to get one thing from an unchanging mindset
Just gets reworded before print
"Maybe they won't notice it"
"If I rearrange it it'll at least look different"
But the retreating interest is evident
Leading to the realization that was destined to hit
"They've found my secret"
"This pony only has one trick"
Should have paid closer attention to it
I lie and say it's wit,
Which I know is bull shiit
Because I couldn't and wouldn't argue if you called it redundant
The absolute of my failure is pungent
On my best day I'm still repugnant
Any new muse goes out of its way to be absent
Mostly due to the subject,
That's me,
Becoming complacent
Setting anchor in what was my escapement
Befriending my replacement
I wouldn't suggest it

©2024

Know that I know
Failure is unstoppable
The situation is never unlosable
Cause I'm already the biggest loser you know
How did I get over here?
Where do I go from there?
I don't know
How deep can shallow go?
That's probably something you should know
Terminal velocity, terminal illness, hospitality's critical
There's only so fast ****'ll flow
Don't you worry though
I'll find the lowest low
Thee frequency is what's incredible
Watch me make the possible impossible
The predictable shockingly unpredictable
Knowing is half the battle
A cartoon told me so
Still waiting for it to help slow the fall though

©2024

Find conviction in your answer
And hold it forever
To hold you together
Through the bad weather
That seems to go on forever
Never getting any better
Never wantin' to become a trend setter
I'd rather avoid a subplot endeavor
A standard cease and desist letter
An awkward deliverer
Of an ignorable order
Internal by nature
From a habitual quitter

©2025

I'm not gonna sit here and say
Why it is I feel I'm not okay
I'd be here all friggin' day
And you'd only lose interest anyway
Distracted midway
Forgotten before the rising sun of the next day
So, if you don't mind, I'll just take what I was going to say
And be on my way

©2024

Most people get the benefit of the doubt
"Eventually they'll figure it out"
What the helll's that all about?
I'm expected to master it in an instant or I'm out

©2024

I wasn't bred from good stock
Or birthed with any hope of a shot
Can't imagine that coming as a big shock
Couldn't possibly hide the rot
A thick scar dug into both wrists visually express what verbally I could not
Flesh color replaced the black rorschach ink blot
To clarify, a stark reminder was all I got
KO'd after a turned cheek an awful lot
Like knock knock
Who's there?
Just a nobody,
A lowly placeholder of a single census spot

©2024

Don't talk the talk
Won't walk the walk
Insecurities drag me face down around the block
Tearing me down block by block
Paying no mind to MY mock up of MY desired plot

©2024

I couldn't tell you why
Sometimes I don't try
But I'll look you dead in the eye
And swear I can not tell a lie
Which of course, in itself, is always a lie

©2024

Hear ye! Hear ye!
Know me and hear me
Oh but please don't look over here at me
What a thing to say, but see
I don't want to be seen, my plea
It feels kinda cheesy
I thought it'd be easy
But it just got so messy so quickly
And the harder I try the more it eludes me
You can't live a life heard but not seen and not be seen as a cautionary
A tale of a someone broken mentally trying to use hurt and pain creatively
Never taken seriously,
Kinda gimmicky
Ultimately a one trick pony
I know it but it hurts still when it's throw back at me
I can't handle the cheeky hostility
So openly hidden in the commentary
It can't be avoided but it's also not necessary
Maybe this isn't for me
Or what's more likely,
Is it's probably not that bad actually
Ah, gee,
Yeah, nevermind, sorry everybody...
I just noticed it's only my insecurity ripping at me
My apology

©2024

Pain affects immediately, sticks around indefinitely
The headcount is up to sixty over infinity
And right around the corner is another three
Meaning it's always in the vicinity
And every type lands just a smidge differently
This feels like what I might imagine to be purgatory
Woe is me
My future will be winless if I'm too stay in the business of learning from my history
The bell to start the fight indicates the end, just prematurely
Loosing in a victory, contradictory absurdity mentioned literally,
All ***** nilly
As I'm sure you can imagine, maybe even probably agree
Somethin' like that is bound to change the complexion of a personality
I know personally
I'd hoped good days would roll in gradually, at least eventually
Instead they taunt relentlessly
It's with a heavy, often broken, heart I go in and defend half heartedly
Enjoying the savagery, a familiarity that relaxes me
But positions me next to the poisons amidst the pageantry
In the direct line of sight of my worst enemy
Me looking back at me directly
"You're talking to yourself again Jeremy..."
...shiit, sorry

©2024

How is this a bold statement?
"I don't give a shiit
And I'll continue to refrain from giving a shiit
'Till your shiit
Impedes on my shiit"
What part of that shiit
Do you not get?

©2024

A fumblin, bumblin'
Waste of skin husband
No one's going with me,
I mean him,
As an option
*** happened?
A premature has been
Similar to the ******* situation
Uh,
So I've heard people sayin'
Get the list of con's reigned in
A list of pro's has never been
Mention every sin in confession
But where to begin
Actually, here's a better question,
Would it even matter in the end?
Let's see what happens when I,
I mean he,
Begins to pretend
If faked long enough can it change the trend,
Or push it all beyond the mend?
Uhhhh, of course, you know,
I'm actually askin' for a friend...

©2024

I'm a man of my word
Completely unreliable
You've probably heard
If you know me you'll know it's undeniable
I'm talking all of it, not a third
Like how Christians view the Bible
Even though they know it's absurd,
Otherwise they'd be way more scared
But with me it's actually believable,
You can see everything's unachievable

©2024

Finite compassion
Finite love
Finite reason
Finite recognition from above

Finite beauty
Finite realism
Finite money
Finite working system

Finite education
Finite brain cells
Finite investigation
Into the finite comprehension skills

Finite common sense
Finite self preservation
Finite self defence
Finite coherent mission

Finite greatness
Finite days to live
Finite forgiveness
Finite directive

Finite relevance
Finite cooperation
Finite presence
Finite revelation

Finite patriotism
Finite rules
Finite fixing 'em
Finite scruples

Finite healing elixirs
Finite work on problems
Finite cure backers
Finite beneficial algorithms

Finite action
Finite lessons learned
Finite reaction
Finite your turn

Finite grandeur
Finite effective comedy
Finite healing laughter
The same can not be said about tragedy

Finite answers found
Finite coping skills
Finite middle ground
Finite deserved kills

It's obvious I could go on and on
But I just dawned on me that I've always had
Finite fuucks to give

©2024

Recklessly I cruise a plateaued plane
One I call memory lane
Which in hindsight was kind of insane
I'm not sure what I was looking to gain
There's not much other than pain in the ones I retain
I know this, it's beyond first hand eyewitness obvious,
Even prior to being forced to meticulously explain
Becoming increasingly familiar with that ruthless domain
Thankfully some truly cherished living snapshots remain
However, most have broken free from their neglected, rusty chain
And I'm left cursing the bane of my existence,
While, in plain sight, the flashbacks that cause my eyes to drain
Swerve in and out of my lane
Joy ridin' my misery or being metaphysically driven to the torture of the mind and soul,
Instigated by a fraction of a fractured brain
That to this day isn't clear on what's it's actually sayin'
Can not seem to refrain from immersing myself in self inflicted pain
Forgotten or slain?
What's it matter if the outcome will be the same;
Me, laying motionless in front of a raging train,
Leaving only a crime scene stain
One that'll go as unnoticed as it did when it flowed through a main artery vein
'Till any and all evidence of my unspectacular,
Super localized reign
Washes away in the rain
And I become nothing more than a name

©2024

"Making positivity a priority would help a lot"
Okay
I'll give it a shot
...
Yup, nope
I give up on the spot
It's way worse to have hope than it is to not

©2024

"I HATE YOU!"
Screamed loud enough for the world to hear
Stated twice just to make the statement clear
It hurts but I try to always remember
That she will for sure be sure
To apologize for it just a little bit later
Believing whole heartedly that should expunge her
And wipe clean the ledger
However,
What's leftover after the vocalized slaughter?
After the anger?
Invisible wounds from the verbal dagger
Hurt immensely as they linger
They never heal ever either,
They never scar, only scab over
Still raw as the next battle gets closer
The one I see in the windshield drawing near
Is almost always identical to the one in the rearview mirror
Only changing minor details here and there
This is what I get for asking her,
"Hey beautiful, what's the matter?"
It's a cautionary tale, buyer beware
Be aware,
Take note of what you receive when you care
Is it truly worth staying and fighting through the cancer?
For the moment let's set aside the endeavor of defining "forever"
I first need to know what the f**k happened to "together"
How can having a partner feel so singular?

©2024

...I hear ya, I do
I just don't find what's been said to be true
But if I take a look through your view
And in lue of the downward spiral conducted by the waves of blue that I've now seen you go through
I want to go ahead and attempt something new
What do you say we put aside debate and simply conversate for a few
A little bit of back and forth like birds of a feather seem to do
Why don't you choose a neutral venue
And I'll collect the short guest list of me, myself and I plus you

©2024

I can't do what you need me to do
Not naturally capable
Unable to be who you want me to be
Impossibly impossible
I might fight the fight you wish me to fight
Adrenaline is incredible
Shouldn't have to bow or bend to your will
Especially if we're equal
I refuse to kiss the ring like you're expecting
Laughably satirical
This polished **** won't gleem like you'd like it too
Completely unreasonable

©2024

Let me recite a line borrowed from an old poem of mine about pain and sorrow,
"Release is a crucial element for any chance to get a better future from tomorrow"
While life has taken many shots at me, I seem to be supplying the ammo
By this point it's fully equipped, got 'em armed to the teeth like Rambo
Why would I be held responsible if, let's say, one day, the relief value was a no show
Let me guess, you don't know
That's not an aura of envy, my anger feeds the green glow
And nobody likes me when I'm angry so
I must open the valve and let things go whenever possible
I apologize ahead of time if you get hit with the flow

©2024

Pay attention to what lengths one will go to
And still find themselves incapable of making it through
No push or pull through, both options taken off the table on a path of glue
Acknowledge the mental blocks that are constantly fought 1v2
Never told, so never knew
Sold a bad bag of repackaged goods labeled NEW
But these missing brighter days have an expiration on the carton too
As well as an enforcement of a curfew
That's never been required to pursue,
Yet they still do
While most never notice the touch of darkness lurking in their happy places too

©2024

My first mistake;
Going to Icarus to learn how to fly
In essence shrinking the distance to a wrap of pine
Resting eternal, days fly by
But never again will a day go by
Where I'll see another dark cloud looming in my sky
Where I'm headed there is no sky

©2024

If I were to ask you
Why are you doing this?
What would your answer be?
What exactly would you say to me?
I'm curious
Would it mirror other hard questions
That I have been forced to ask
Forcing me to watch you get furious
Leaving me reeling, feeling like the fool
Because I took this serious

©2024

It's really hard to have hope
How is one to cope
When the scope of the problem
Shows to be your steep downward *****
And the rope thrown as a savior
Lands around your throat
Hope regularly seen as innately good
You may agree, but I don't

©2024

Left alone with a mess to pick through
Searching for a statement true
I don't trust you
Can't trust you
Won't trust you
And that's on you
But I'm the one who's left with all the blue
And yet I still refuse to use the phrase "fucck you"
Shiit, it's all true
Isn't it,
How is it
I'm the last who knew?
A perma-fool
Who's stuck on you

©2024

Throw your stones at me
Those of you who've never sinned
My past a bit hazy
I don't know where I begin
You think I could get lucky?
And one day catch an elusive win
Something worth sharing with a loved one or a friend
Forget the knowledge that hindsight's 20/20
Didn't know I'd have no one in the end,
Not even one that's pretend
Hopefully I can find a sticky type of happy
But until then
I'm just a puppy
Chasing leafs in the wind

©2024

I don't trust you
Can't trust you
Won't trust you
And that's on you

©2024

Be free
Of this family curse
That is me
It'll only get worse
You'll see
What emerges first
And agree
Not to be coerced
A "we"
Will definitely die of thirst
Time can't be
Truly reimbursed
The key
Never start to converse
My company
Not even close to worth
What you'll be
Forced to traverse

©2024

This entire empire of dirt and manure is about to expire
I'm not gonna lie, between you and I, I wish I was a lier
My mind though is compulsive when lighting it's pants on fire
Nose long as a telephone wire, front and center like a town crier
And the shiit that I get from myself and the public stacks higher and higher
I know exactly what's about to transpire
Yet I always make it worse, never better
Like a water geyser to a grease fire
I'll forever be a fumblin', bumblin' reality denier
Faced with a situation that can only be described as dire
When you've only ever been able to hire a blind get-a-way driver
There's no chance of escaping this hell, life organically becoming satire

©2024

Oh, you hate me?
Well don't worry
Cause see, I also hate me
More than you could ever hate me
Trust me
The line starts back there at mile marker three

"So, why do you hate you?"
Seemed like the popular thing to do
I mean, what was I supposed do, just stew?
When everyone hates you
The problem is probably you
And it's just easier to go with the crowd
Who knew?

©2024

The road to eternal damnation
Constantly being paved with good intention
Wrestlin' with my collection of depression
Trying to conjure up protection against wraths hateful possession
Me, myself and I, the only three at my intervention
I always thought someone might maybe one day step in
Warning me of the direction I'm headin'
Remind me about the cautionary tale of the doomed zeppelin
Or some sorta congratulation confirmation,
A little somethin' to help me keep goin'
...wrong once again...

©2024

Please know that;
I
Don't want to live
But I
Don't want to die
So I
Become a captive
Deny
My modus operandi
The lie
Is naturally aggressive
Can I
Adapt on the fly
Can't I
Be illusive
'Till I
Can answer the why
So I
Will try objective
A good guy
Give it a collage try
Then I
Become reactive
This stye
Permanently in each eye
I try
But the mole hill's massive
And I
Still have no answers to why
I cry
That's all I have left to give
Still I
Knew better than to be believe in somethin' like an eye for an eye
But who am I?

©2024

She wants me less and less everyday
Which is why I think about walking away
And I know exactly what she's gonna say
She will turn it on me in a spectacular way
I used to hate that it's something I was able to say
I just don't care anymore

©2024

Knuckles go white as I grip my rescue flair
Read the warning through a blinkless stare
Pressed the thing tightly to my temple,
Count to three,
To keep it simple
Hold very still,
Steady as a thimble
'Till the very last second
Pull away on the second e in "one, two, three"
And release it to the night air
At least tonight the fight's fare
I can't make it to there
If I don't end this right here

©2024

I don't care,
I'M A LIER
I can't care
Not about who or about what
Just when and where
Lurking like a jump scare
Stimulating neck hair
Never taught to prepare
Never thought I'd get here
Stuck in my own layer
Of an inception daymare
Not much darker after the lackluster transfer to nightmare
It just goes to show the **** show goes on long past forever
A morbid trend setter
Left wishing I was a quitter
I'M A LIER
No need to wish, it's a clear no brainer
And wicked obvious, at least from what I remember
Though I know I don't remember a lot but whatever

©2024

I'm not afraid of gods
Not particularly afraid of man
The ones that give me pause
Are the ones who think they themselves
Are made in the image of their gods
Gods by association, what are the odds?
They will stop at nothing
To hide the fact
They're both a fraud
I swear to god

©2024

If I'm able
I'll cheer you on
If I'm capable
I'll clap for however long
If you need just a little
I'll whisper you a song
I'll crack a funny riddle
Just to hear you laugh along
I care so very little of the battle
You're right, I'm wrong
Don't be bashful
The night is long
Perfect days are doubtful
But we'll never doubt where we belong

©2024

Am I guilty?
Probably
We all are aren't we?
Literally everybody?
A rarely talked about reality
But a reality none the less surely
Find it in every living things history
Trying to hide it is silly
It's no mystery
It's humanity
A flawed design set free
It comes with the territory
But the what for,
Now that's a bit beyond me,
Maybe
If I'm forced to go by what I see,
It's exactly
What y'all do too actually
But how can that be?
If you would please,
Explain it to me
And do it slowly

©2024

Okay, okay, geeze
They're only follies
I'm sorry, have mercy,
I can surrender no further,
I plea on my knees
Doesn't matter how hard you squeeze
There's nothing left,
I have nothing left
I'm begging you please
When you leave,
Just deposit me by the other empties

©2023

I've fought a lot to get it out, tried to keep it out, but I can not
I scream and shout,
"WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?"
Even post realization that it's all for nought
Had an ill advised, never properly revised, recurring thought
Form an in home gym enterprise to exercise demons on the spot
More issues to stack like russian dolls is all I ever got
Caught each slow kiiller by keepin' it in house to follow the origin plot
Scrip changes happen often regardless of what me, myself or I want
Zero red yarn supplied, can't attempt a connection with any new dot
I play my part in my story as the man forgiveness forgot
Both what I keep in and what spills out identified as the source of the rot

©2024

If you care promise to never let me know
Never turn around, never let it show
Don't point out the stretch that turned friend to foe
It's far too late to pray it ain't so
But nothing was nurtured, allowing nothing to grow
So, if you want to stay please, for me, tell yourself no
And just go

©2024

If I can't hold on
If I let life slip by like you said I'd do all along
As the tiniest violin plays my theme song
Would you lose faith in me as a person?
As another flawed human?
Or is it set in stone as a bygone conclusion?
I've begun to become withdrawn
So it shouldn't be long
If I must let go I'll aim for the lawn
And you can sleep well knowing you were not wrong

©2024

Given a hand to go hand in hand in the park
Only allowed to be enjoyed in the dark
And as I curse the idea of an always present silver lining
I notice it to be easier to witness the splendor of our spark

©2025

How does it always find me?
Easy,
It is me
At the very least it's in me
Darkness is part of this story
And it's not something to envy

©2024

An endless search
For before the hopeless
Prior to the pain
Pre drowning in sadness
It must be there
That rare moment of bliss
I can't FUCCKING remember,
"Has it always been like this?"
A lost sliver of memory
Eerily missing the feeling like a lipless first kiss
The want and drive evident
But before it all, most memorable, there to trigger the fall, my evil twin, Sir Anxious
I tear up as I absorb old videos
Finding the smile in milestones of my son, a present I was pleasantly present to witness
"...ah, there it is,
My piece of bliss
An unchecked happiness
Oh how I miss this..."
But I did this,
I have no business
Asking for a witness
Or forgiveness

©2024

"Choose your battles wisely"
That's what every they say repeatedly
Could never naysay exclusively
But could say it absolutely might turn gale force to breezy
It would earn a win column that's mostly empty,
Some much needed tally marks in a hurry, though not in a flurry
Admittedly, that's not necessarily necessary nor would it come anywhere near a reality
Because honestly, even a visionary wouldn't be able to foresee a victory
It's looking to be mostly negativity
As far as the third eye can see
So the convoluted parlor tricks hit particularly sloppy
A complete absence of accuracy
The glass crystal ball looking back blindly
Really, all that's needed is to recap some history
Finding quickly,
A guess holds the same weight as that forgery
More importantly
Pay attention,
Who holds the pen
And
Who writes the story

©2024

I got hit with that one trick pony line
Luring my anxiety,
AND insecurity,
To the frontline
Apparently I do mind
My mind will make sure to remind
Ignoring useful comments I find
And not just the kind kind
Too anything positive I'll become blind
A one track mind, singularity defined
Creating new shackles that bind
A self enforced redesign
Leading me to leave a select few talents behind
Choosing thoughts from another's mind to get behind
Because that one guy that one time
Tried to take from me the one thing I liked to give my time
But here's the bottom line,
I've found I rather enjoy expressing in rhyme
Hurt and pain just happen to be most of what I've felt for a long time
So that's what comes out
When I pour my heart out
Into each and every line
Let me apologize in advance for next time

©2024