Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Quevin Apr 2020
I’m killing myself
Over and Over
Inside my head

I’m sitting here
Hurting myself
But at what cost

I would love to tell you
“It gets better”
But it doesn’t

Will I ever find the light?
Quevin Apr 2020
Say goodbye
I'll hold your hand forever
I'll remember the sad look in your eyes

Your perfect teeth
Your porcelain skin
The way I drown in your warm embrace

Don't shed a tear for me
For the sadness eats away

I may never understand
what you wanted from me
Quevin Apr 2020
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
They hate the way I look
They say my eyes are too light
And my lips are too dark
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
They say they hate the way I talk
And the way I dress
My shirt is too strippy
And my pants are too light
My voice is too low
And then it’s too high
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
A kid told me I read too often
And I write too much
I laugh at everything
And I talk too bleak
Too many apologies
Too many tears  
Another fake smile to hide away my fears
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
Lipstick stains my favorite attire
My eyeliner thickens
And my clothes go from pretty pinks and vivid purples to dusk and foggy green
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
My eyes begin fading color
They tear up
And my lip starts to tremble
My heart beats faster
The colors from my deepest dreams withdraw
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I hold my breath
I steady the blade
Oh my agony
I breathe in and my eyes cringe
A silent scream
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
The thoughts are back again
I wonder how it’ll go down
How it’ll look
The smell
The sounds
How people will be sympathetic
But no one really cares
Have you noticed how people only care
When you are six feet underground
I am a Horrible Person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person  
I begin to fear the world
Putting myself in the obscurity
And behind locked doors
For they are out to get me
I begin to abhor everyone I’ve ever known
Who am I
Have I not made it clear
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
Magic markers tattoo me
And show it where to aim
I draw lines on each ****** wrist
Hoping he won’t see
The nothing I say
When they ask what I’m thinking about
He thinks I’m cute
But little does he know
The worlds out to get him too
He notices the slashes
Covering each arm
From my forearm to my wrists
I am covered in red lines
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
Ignore my slashes
For one day you will understand
Don’t worry your pretty little head
I’ll be fine someday
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
A hundred times the doctors say
I am okay
I am okay
I am not okay
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I wonder what it’ll be like a world without him
It’s hard to picture because he doesn’t know
But I love him
And I am sorry that I could never bring myself to tell him
How could he love a bitter soul like me
For I am just a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I am a horrible person
I want to tell him that
I am trying
I am trying
But I am not trying
Quevin Apr 2020
I spend my time here
Writing of nothing but fear


Shaking hands
Shallow breaths
Sick to my stomach
again and again

I'm grateful for you
But I don't know what to do
My entire whole
Is obsessed with my doom

How do I find the sun again?

— The End —