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Hey
(It was sunny;
You and I dodged the rays all day)
How are you?
(You smiled at me;
I felt like I had a place with you)
It's rainy, today.
(You said it was poetic;
We spent the day with hot espresso and black umbrellas)
It's weird, not seeing you.
(Every day you hugged me;
I didn't like hugs, before I knew you)
I miss you.
(You are gone now;
We promised to stay together always)
I love you.
(You told me first;
It came like lightning in the summer and took my breath away)
I can't live without you.*
(I don't often tell the truth;
If I am honest once, let it be this)

We talk, we chat, typing on the keyboard.
Pictures you I collect, file and hoard.
I laugh, I cry, I tell you all about me.
Even being so beautiful, your so friendly.
Chat room to IM and IMs to e-mail.
Talking with you never gets stale.
E-mails to IMs and IMs to the phone.
Always making me feel better when I feel alone.
I get attached, you get attached, we fall in love.
So close to one, yet to far away for hugs.
You laugh at my jokes and cry with my pain.
We share childhood memories of playing in the rain.
From IMs, to phone, from phone to person we finally meet.
happy and joyful we hug and kiss, so happy to be.
time has passed we cherish, love and finally marry.
the laughter continues, over the sands it’s you I carry.
Together forever, always it was meant to be.
I guess good things come from Internet curiosity

13- You can't stay mad at him/her for more then a minute or two, and you have to actually try and stay mad.

12- You'll read his/her IMS or other msgs, over and over and over again.

11- You'll walk really, really slow while your with him/her.

10- You'll feel shy whenever your with him/her

9- While thinking about him/her your heart will beat faster and faster.

8- By listening to his/her voice you'll smile for no reason what so ever.

7- While looking at that person you won't be able to see anybody else that's around...only that person.

6- He/she becomes all you think about.

5- You'll get high just by their smell...

4- you'll start listening to really slow songs

3- You'll realize your always smiling to yourself when you think of him/her

2- You'll do anything for him/her

1- While reading this there was ONE person on your mind the WHOLE time.
                                                           ^-^

hey i was wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend? it's been such a long time since i last saw you and you know, i was thinking, maybe we could talk and stuff again, like we used to? so, i really hope that maybe you could step out to hang out, yeah? but if you can't now, it's totally fine by me! just tell me when you're free, 'kay?
- Sent, 9:35 PM, Tuesday, Aug. 5, 2014

yo you never answered my message! are you okay? are you sick? please, tell me if you can't come any time this month, i don't really mind! please, just talk to me?
- Sent, 12:48 AM, Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2014

did i make you mad?
- Sent, 5:40 AM, Saturday, Oct. 11, 2014

please talk to me
- Sent, 11:11 PM, Monday, Oct. 20, 2014

do you just hate me???? is that it???? at least tell me straight to my face!!!!
- Sent, 6:40 AM, Thursday, Dec. 11, 2014

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FULL OF ****, YOU CAN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SEE THAT I'M TRYING HERE. I AM TRYING FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE SO ******* MUCH ABOUT YOU. I WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE SO ******* MUCH ABOUT YOU. BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA TREAT ME LIKE THIS, I DON'T THINK I DESERVE THIS!!!!!
- Sent, 9:13 PM, Friday, Dec. 26, 2014

YOU KNOW WHAT???? *******.
- Sent, 9:13 PM, Friday, Dec. 26, 2014

Y UOY  NE EVR  C A R WSD W HJEETHR OR ON T IW AS THEJRFE FOF ROYU ZND **** GO AE HED ADSN ENJYO YOURF CUKIGN  CHR RIST MAS VCNASITON ALOENE
- Sent, 1:45 AM, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2014

L NOER
- Sent, 1:56 AM, Saturday, Dec. 27, 2014

i just saw your mom at the grocery store a while ago. and what she said surprised and upset me a lot.
- Sent, 11:40 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

why didn't you talk to me?! you know i always said i was there for you... why didn't you talk to me about anything?! i would have stopped you!
- Sent, 11:47 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

i'm so sorry i'm so sorry im so sorry im so sorry im so rty ims oert im so sory ims or t r yim osrr y
- Sent, 11:55 PM, Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014

i'm so sorry, i wasn't a better friend for you. i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry. forgive me.
- Sent, 12:05 AM, Thursday, Jan. 01, 2015

hey
- Sent, 12:45 AM, Friday, Jan. 23, 2015

happy birthday*
- Sent, 12:45 AM, Friday, Jan. 23, 2015

H e always knew she would be
E xactly as he saw dreaming of her body,
A nna was the name of his 1985
R olls Royce's of cars, a
T hunderbird
B lack, shiny,  with chrome size 18
R ims, sleek black tires
E asy money he made working
A ll stopped-- he wrecked, she went to junk
K icking himself wishing he had stopped at
                                               the stoplight

Cold

The IMS ambulance stands by the shore
as the table top wind sends its Antarctic breath to us
across the Indian Ocean while
we are wrapped up like parcels protected from the
temperature of the night,
an army lost in the dark
awaiting the gathering day
holding hope in our aging hearts
that the sun will come again .

We are lucky enough to have hope
unlike those somewhere out there
forever entombed and cold

he thinks he's burdening me,
with his bothersome texts and such,
but truth be told,
I love them lots,

he thinks he's burdening me,
with his bothersome IMs and photo spams,
but truth be told,
I find it cute and sweet,

he thinks he's burdening me,
but he writes me page upon page of poems,
on everything my life hold,
and we have and may never met,
I hope we can,
he know so much about me,
even the things I don't understand,

So I'm burdening you,
because yeah,
your wasting your time on little old me,
who just sit and wastes her life away,
living on poetry,
when I need to be living a life,
where things matter more,
then words I have on torn pages,
thats how I'm,
*Burdening you.

I pushed you away, because you were starting to love me
I heard it in your voice one night
When you called me gorgeous
and you said my name
Sarah
And it ran off your tongue like you were meant to say it
So I pushed you away
I ignored your messages
And I dismissed your IMs
But you kept at it
You kept calling me gorgeous
You kept saying my name
Just like that
And I hate you for loving me
But I can't stay away
So
STOP

Let's be friends
please?
I won't send you pictures
Or say your name
I'll play your games
and I'll talk to you
As long as you don't love me

I need you to message me
Just like he did
I need you to say my name
Just like he did

Even though you're better
and sweeter
and more thoughtful
and you remember what I say
and talk about what I like
and say Beyonce is you favorite

I don't want to love you
Please
I don't want to

ims rory
ims ro so sorry
i didnt meant its

plaese coem abcl

jsut plaease coem ack==

i don't say that enough,
not ever enough.
maybe if i said it more
everything would be alright.

please don't go,
please don't stay silent,
please don't stop being you,
please don't...

i'm sorry for what i said
i'm sorry for what i did wrong
i'm sorry for being a bad friend
i'm sorry, i'm sorry

i'm sorry i'ms rory i'm storry i'mst oryr r im sorry im sorru im' soryr i'm sorryr i im soryr im sory pleas e lplease lea s eplease pl as e dont go i'm soryr im osryrr ims srour

There are two realities we choose to inhabit
The one in real time and the one suspended in virtual reality.
Aided by the ping of IMs
The scrolling feed of photoshopped landscapes
The stream of simplified consciousness
The endless swiping of chiseled bodies and imploring faces…
The images and messages we copy and save and download and delete -
Our lifeline of ones and zeros
Transformed before our tired eyes on little screens
Appears brighter and louder and more easily accessible than the space we inhabit
In a time slowly ticking away in a series of brief and passing moments.

Nobody has patience for real time
Where leaves darken and redden with passing seasons
Eventually withering and crumbling to dust.
Where the bright crimson **** is accompanied by a sharp pain
That lingers dully for days after the wound has puffed and the skin has laced itself back together.
And the burning emptiness that accompanies the silence
Throbs heavily in your chest long after the silence has been filled.
Nobody wants to gaze at an unchanging landscape
Long enough to notice the life in every swaying tree, every flying insect, every speeding car, every lonely passerby.
Or trace the path of light cast by the sun as it slowly moves its shadow over the steady scene.
People don’t care to stare into their partner’s eyes
Long and hard
In those moments of lapsed conversation.
Discovering insecurities and fears they had not realized were there. Needs and desires chewed, swallowed, and spit out as yesterday’s Instagram caption.

While we pose and polish and edit and post
Our hair grows longer
Our ears grow dimmer
Our minds grow duller
But the screen glows brightly.
And the likes accrue
And the friends multiply.

Maybe someday our headstones will be inscribed with our number of
Followers
Friends
And Connections -
Validating and memorializing our virtual reality.  
But beneath the earth
Our bodies will still be slowly decaying
Under the building sediment
Churning organisms
And passing of real time.

ims o fuckigns stupif why cant i do anything corfrefctkt

my\hejkpl? ism so ******* stupid i cantg do this anymote

this aisnt oggod gor me ai can t - i cshoudnt do this.

Mergaitė išbėgo žaisti laukan
Saulė glostė jos rudus plaukus
Ji pati grožiu nepasižymėjo
O jai tas ir nerūpėjo

Ims ir šoks per ūpelį
Skels antausį beržui bėgdama
O senelė tik linguoja pavėsinėj
Tik supasi palengva

Jos metalinis korsetas dabar guli palėpeje
Pakavotas nuo vaikystės akių nesuterštų
Negadins jis kitos kartos mergaičių
Tik kalės už atimtus jos metus rudyje

T e a c h e r
One word, seven letters.
Sacrificing oneself to make the world better
Her job is worth a thousand,
But the stress? its infinity and beyond
Paper works, IMs, and Lesson plans?
They dont even have a vacation plan.
Going to school early,
Going home late
Even forgot to attend the dinner date
Sleepyhead,
But need to wake up
Even forgot to put her make up
She always consider the comfort of everybody,
Even if it means not to take care of her own body
She always wear her beautiful smile,
Despite the sadness that seems to be with her for a quite awhile.
T e a c h e r
One word, seven letters
A job that is a thousand worth
But can significantly change the life of millions in the entire world.

-FJ. Pacaldo, 2019