I don't want to be helpess anymore,
It was easier, I'll no longer ignore-
How I always asked your thoughts,
How I vented and never stopped.

The things I regret now feel more real,
I wish we just could've hung out;
Been normal friends,
but I was afraid to be myself.

I learned to stay down and not get up,
I'd pace my room in fantasies
Until I learned to que up
Validation felt like a drug

But now what I regret most
Is not giving you a hug,
Spilling my every thought,
And betraying you

Now you're gone

I’m a glutton for attention.
For the mention
Of my name.
Please, just prove
My existence is real.
Say that I matter.
𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳
Say that I matter!
𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳

I. Don’t. Need. You.

But I do, I really  do.

I went to God, crying
Begging for release from this cycle of
Neediness, lack of worthiness,
desperation and pain.
She told me…
Why are you asking for pittance of love,
When I have an ocean of love pouring for you…
You are me and I am you.
Take it all and have it all.
With Grandeur and Glory.
This entire cosmos is yours to claim.
Don’t deny it to yourself…

Many come to me seeking this and that,
My offer is the same,
But will you allow yourself to have it all?

I am clear in my head and perhaps in heart that it is not love,
It is my own lack that I look to fill through you.
Isn’t it true that you also felt that you could fill your void with me?  
Isn’t it all what we look for, in a relationship?
Sometimes I want just that…
Why can’t we have our cup filled by someone?
Why is there an image of ideals and perfection…
That we have to be all for ourselves,
Not needing validation.
Why do we strive to be all?

I exist
No matter what...
Despite...

I exist
Fearlessly,
Securely,
Confidently,
Rightfully,
Claiming my space in the universe
I exist...because
I AM.
And I cant be anything else other than ME.

I want to hug
my son's son
60 years from now.

With beauty,
and pain,
and wonder,
and heartbreak
written into the lines
across my face.

Telling him
he is enough.
He'll always be enough.

"Validation, valediction
What's the difference now?
Eschew the standard
Turn the paradigm upside down
You could be happy, if you wanted to be
Don't feel obliged to live a life you never wanted to
The best way out is straight through
Let intuition guide you
You could be happy, if you wanted to be".

I don’t know who I am
I don’t even feel like a person
maybe that’s why I enjoy *** so much
to receive attraction
a validation of existence
proving a planet exists through its moon’s orbit.

I am still a child, even today
While my skin grows and stretch marks rise
And for years all I ever craved was attention from anyone with eyes, or vocal chords to say anything to me
Now I am older, and I would have thought I’d learn how to live in my skin,
How to live with myself
But now I am a shell of what I once was
Who I used to be
The life and will to survive has left my body, I am decrepit and weak
Yet the leech inside me only grows quicker and quicker with every heart beat
I hate how much I hate myself
I’d give all the money in the world for some way out
Some way to feel
My body feels foreign, I can’t recognize it
And I’d live in the body of everyone else before my own,
Because I know I’ll never be comfortable inside of myself
Maybe I should accept what has become of me
That I’ll never be who I was, or who I wanted to be
That I spent years searching for validation where I knew it would never be found
Just for the thrill that I might just reach it
Even though I know I never will