the thing no one saw
was the winter kept beneath my sleeves
no sirens came for it
no one called it danger,
because some pain learns
how to whisper
i survived the nights
with my hands turned against me,
trying to break open
what only needed tenderness
I survived believing hurt
was the closest thing to relief
morning after morning
I dressed myself in silence,
buttoned shame on my wrists,
smiled like nothing ached
said “just tired”
said “I’m fine”
said everything
except please stay
the ice I wore as armor
the habit of punishment
the old ache
that asked for blood
when it really wanted comfort
the ice is breaking
the river is moving
I am here
and everywhere inside me,
spring