When I got to the hospital, the nurses told me he was still recovering from surgery for some internal injuries and this and that, but I could go see him for a bit. So I went up to his room and realized that I didn't really know what he looked like, other than blood and bruises, but I could still tell it was him by the way the bandages were wrapped around his head. "Hey Chief," I said, "howya doin'?" This time I knew he was conscious but he didn't say anything. He just gave me this look like he was saying, "Who are you?" and "How do I get rid of you?" at the same time. So I replied, "I know your name is Mitchell, but I figured the only way you'd remember me is if I called you 'Chief,' like I did before." That got his attention and he threw me this sudden, glowering stare for what seemed like a real long time, like he was trying to make up his mind about something. I thought I had ****** him off with that "Chief" crack, but then he said real soft,  "My name's not Mitchell."

     That suprised me a bit, so all I could say was, "But that's who's room this is, according to the nurses."

     "Maybe so. But that's not my real name . . . It's just a name I made up."

     "What, you on the run or something?"
    
     "Something like that."

     "And you ain't a Marine?"

     "How'd you . . . ?" Another stare, and then, "Nope. Not now. I was though."

     "I don't get it."

     "Mitchell was a name I made up when I joined the Corps . . . "

     "So, why did you make up a name? . . . You got a record?"

     "Nothin' like that . . . My real name is Irniq . . . It's an old Inuit name. When I joined up, I thought I was puttin' those days behind me."

     "Inuit . . . What's that, a kind of Indian?"

     "It means, 'People' . . . but you prob'ly think of us as 'Eskimos.' We don't like that name, so we don't use it."

     He stopped looking in my direction and kinda tilted his head back and rolled his eyes back before closing them. Then he took a few real deep breaths, and said, "I grew up in a village that was mostly hunters and fishermen. It was fun, when I was little, kind of like goin' on an adventure all the time. But as I got older, I realized how dirt poor we were and how we seemed to catch less game every season. And then I learned that our tribe owned land that the oil companies wanted to drill, and that the oil money could end our need to hunt, and get us modern, comfortable lives, but the tribe kept clingin' to their old ways. My father said it was oil that wiped out the herring habitats, and caused the seal population to crash, and was keepin' the ice away. I didn't care and thought he was a fool fightin' a losin' battle. I thought I saw the future and that he was goin' down with the past. We had terrible fights and I believed that the man who had once been this mighty hero of mine had turned into a pathetic has-been, and I didn't want to get dragged down with him. I thought that by leavin', I could somehow be part of the future. I didn't have too many places to go, so I joined the Marines."

     "Then what are you doing here?"

     He dropped his head forward, opened his eyes, locked them right on to mine, and said, "I left the Corps a couple of months ago. When I joined up, my father told me he no longer had a son. I guess I didn't really hear those words until I went back home and he shut the door in my face. My mother came out and tried to welcome me home, and get me to stay, but I knew that my father had been right all along, and that it was me who was pathetic. So I got on a bus and went as far as I could until my money ran out, and here I am."

     "What do you mean, about your father being right?"

     He closed his eyes again, brought both hands up to the sides of his face, and said, "When I was in the Corps, I got sent to Iraq. I was pretty gung ** at first, and thought I was fightin' for freedom and the way of life that I wanted, but then it just seemed to get pointless. Day after day of cat-and-mouse with an enemy hidin' in plain sight and no real purpose other than bein' there and gettin' into firefights. Then one day I was on this mission clearin' some homes of insurgents. I was leadin' a squad goin' door-to-door and not havin' much trouble 'til we went to this one house and there's this woman screamin' and tryin' to get past us. A couple of my guys had to hold her down while the rest of my squad got her family to kneel down beside her. The woman kept on screamin' and we didn't have an interpreter, so I went up to her and tried to calm her down. I told her in as soothin' a voice I could that we weren't goin' to hurt anyone, we were just lookin' for bad guys, when I saw this blur out of the corner of my eye. The woman started screamin' louder, and I turned and yelled, 'Stop!!! Stop!!!' a couple of times, but it kept movin' fast and I just reacted . . . I didn't have any time to think . . . it just kept movin' . . . and I was yellin', 'Stop!!! Stop!!!' . . . but it wouldn't stop . . . it wouldn't stop . . . it just kept movin' . . . . . . and I reacted . . . I just reacted . . . . . . and then there was my muzzle flash and this red mist . . . . . . this red mist that just erupted . . . and kind of hung there . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and then the woman wasn't screamin' . . . and I wasn't yellin' . . . . . . . . . and there was just this little boy . . . . . . . . this little boy, lyin' on the ground . . . . . . with this mush where his face used to be . . . . . . . . . . . and it was quiet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . so quiet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . until I heard this sound like nothin' I ever heard before . . . this kind of moan . . . this deep, hollow, primeval moan that kind of rumbled at first . . . . . . . . and then it grew louder . . . and louder . . . and the pitch got higher and higher . . . . . . until it turned into this ferocious gut-wrenchin' shriek that filled my head and reached way down and ripped my insides out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and every day I try to put that boy back together in my mind . . . . . . I try to see his face . . . but I can't . . . . . . . . . . . . I can't see his face . . . . . . and I can't get that sound out of my head . . . . . . . . . . . . every single day . . . . . . . . . . . . and all I can see is my muzzle flash . . . and that mist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . that godawful red mist."

A pocket of thought, ideas.
Impulses, has beens

epi-phenom-enal-con-currencies-synchron-icity
sorting places, thens and nows vying for attention

you see
we till stories in search of true tomorrows
not true
yesterdays (till, I said, not tell)
we **** the hard rows no one else will ***
so seed lies sown are never lies told, if the lies are never taught
or if the liars are caught before convincing the
intended crop to lie and swear a common liege Lord,
or die
for lack of knowing. Non-nascence, simplest
symptom to not see.
Whose death is yours to respond responsibly
to? My child's, or yourn?
In the early days, we knew less than we know now
about how knowing and growing were all
intended
to cost time. Ticks, ono motto whatever, the sound
gears and spiral springs pushing cogs
tick, one tooth tick at atime make

this rough, un polished, un glossed, is it wrong or

as I imagine a diamond in the rough must seem to a share cropper
experienced in diamond hunting, diamond prospecting,

prospecting expecting inspection to permit
seeing a 3.52 specific gravity,
specific
specify

species or spectacles,
spectators or special-if-eye-cation
value-en-abled. Weigh your mind in balance
with mine. I claim the mind of Christ.
What are the odds?

A wandering path, injoyable enable if-i-abble,
pacing is

everything, timing is everything, time is the test.

Time is the metagame.
Take your time. One word formed sylabble at a time.
Babble on, your confusion makes you mortal, to my mind.
Tick.
A quanta of time. Does time come in bits and pieces cernible,
but undiscernible from reality?

Babble.

Of course, time will tell. We learned that in our sleep, did we not?

Aesop taught us more than Moses, no,
Aesop taught us less than Moses.

But, we could learn to walk bearing the weight of knowing what
Aesop taught,
while we could not stand under the weight
Moses was said
to have taught.

Caught you, Jewboy. Whatchewknow?
The moral of the story.

THE IDEA is to win.
Beware the concision decision.
incisive devices, witty inventions.

Flip the shell, roll the bones, cast the runes and,
as luck might have it, die before your time.

Why factors are lies more oft than how factors.
Benefactors rule malefactors or
how or why would we invest our time in seeking reasons
to believe?

Is this the polished piece, the gemstone of specific gravity
(which currently means nothing to you. Here, you find too light
or too heavy, too weighty on the scale of specific value.)

Hard. Value hard, diamond hard, on Mr. Moore's scaled model of
Knowing exploding for reason's sake, raison d'etre, eh?
Too hard?
Not Mohs,
don't get me wrong.
We been Moore's law breaker all along.
We be manifested destinatory stories of heroes gone wrong.

Outlawed
knowing exploding to be reasoned with, by kind
children destined to become
written in stone, scarred by lies

Diamonds cutting diamonds, iron whetting iron
on eternity's edge.

Babylon, was it Bel's gate or fusion from below rising?

Magma fountains with diamond claws tearing the lands asunder
Is asunder still a word?, let me, allow me to define...
"into a position apart, separate,
into separate parts,"
mid-12c., contraction of Old English on sundran 
Middle English used to know asunder for
"distinguish, tell apart."
From <https://www.etymonline.com/word/asunder>
----

mumbler's humbler PIE, bowing before the knowers who
know nothing of my work.
Set apart, art thou holy aware?

Hermit me, meet the rest of me. The true rest that remained.
We live, you and I. Trust me, next is worth the wait.

Suffer needs no pain to make its point. Waiting is.

Grokk. WHO would believe that idea could live
through telegraphese to be tweet meets for the
Cosplay clans. How never grokked a rock,  why even less.

Strange, not be long in this
place. if
place this be. Odd
set aside
torn asunder
blown away.
Awake, little birdie, tell me true,
what's a man like me to do?

Did you meet the famous Mr. Blake?
I cleaned his chimney, way back when, chimbly's whut
we called em. Smoke stacks belchin' black
makin' black moths invisible to voracious
gulls.
Now the peppered moths are free
to be white-ish, for better or worse.

----

right, now, do right or

miss the mark,
the specific mark you made, maybe,
imagining, abstract obstructions missed
by the skin on Job's teeth as you run past

right now to more. You know?

----=

Story telling was the same as lying when I was a child, to me.

Telling stories was my gift I never took. Or am I lying? or mad,
in the old way.
Chailot's rag picker was my best friend.

No noble thought ever found it's home in my head, once
I thunk it, it stunk to high heaven, for me stinkin' thinkin' it.

Po' ems sang sour to fiddles wit' one strang and drums with no
cymbals
Screamin' he owed m' soul the comp'ny sto' bang bang thud.

I died, he lied, and lived to tell this story, ****** if I know,
****** if I don't.

True as true can be. I am lost, but once was found,
lyin' rough, uncut in acres of unseen gems.
----
* Voltaire refused to teach me any thing I could not define:
late 14c., deffinen, diffinen, "to specify; to fix or establish authoritatively;" of words, phrases, etc., "state the signification of, explain what is meant by, describe in detail," from Old French defenir, definir "to finish, conclude, come to an end; bring to an end; define, determine with precision," and directly from Medieval Latin diffinire, definire, from Latin definire "to limit, determine, explain," from de "completely" (see de-) + finire "to bound, limit," from finis "boundary, end" (see finish (v.)). From c. 1400 as "determine, declare, or mark the limit of." Related: Defined; defining.

So, imagine facets unseen, I am at least a meme, a bubble rising on the tide. Think, as you will. Amen?

I can hear my loved ones screams
Reminents on memories
caught in the cobwebs of my dreams
I can't see them
I can't help them
And I'm stuck in the blackness of the dream
I try to open my eyes
And I struggle And to my surprise
I can  move
And I can breath
But I can't feel and I can't see
I hear them screamin'
screamin' my name
screamin' for my help
screamin' to my shame
And I'm trapped I'm all alone caught in the blackness on the dream
listen to them scream and scream and scream
And then  finally when I wake up
I am shaken that was ****** up
I am sweating under bedding cuz' I know whats comin' next
I've had enough

Some days, I just want to be blind. Blind to the world. To the crimes, to the kinds of people that exist.


If I was blind, I wouldn't have to spend all the time trying to decipher how someone could be so cruel. How they could think it would be so cool to shoot up a school.


February 14th is a holiday, is Valentine's Day. A day of love, not hate, and should not act as the day of a shooting. Is a day where seventeen lives were lost as a result of a guy who felt a little lost. A man who needed to move on.


Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. A safe place where people go to learn without concern of dying. On Valentine's day, seventeen lives are gone as everything that should have gone right had gone wrong. I mean, come on, why is it seen as an event that everyone saw, but cannot correct? Is there a vet for people who act like dogs?


Some days, I just want to be blind. Some days, I look out of my window and see trees blowing in the breeze, and it used to put me at ease,  but those old opportunities have been seized.


Fire. Burning. Horror. Forest fires in national parks. Places were bark used to decorate trees, little did everyone one know, this was a slowly killing disease.


We didn't have time to grovel, never mind write a novel. It's too bad you have to pick up the remains out of the rubble. In the background, I mumble, “wasn’t there supposed to be no casualties?” I mean can anyone sneeze without having to bend at the knees to the ultimate destroyer. Surprise. Surprise. Don't catch flies because you didn't open your eyes and realize that there is no easy end to all of these crimes.


Some days, I just want to be blind. Blind to everything. Blind to kids my own age. From the gentle voices to the ones filled with rage.


Walking toward a Target exit and seeing a wall of missing children, half of them probably screamin’ looking for their parents, scared and searching for some flair, of hope.


Most of them most likely thought that it could never happen to them, but here they are sitting in the middle of a stranger’s den. Scared and alone. Wondering when, or if there’s is a time that they will get to go home.


You know, the funny thing is that though it might be a stranger. You might not even think that they can pose a threat, let alone danger. Think about it, your kidnapper could be a lady, old and sweet, or so you think before she starts look a little less fragile and meek. And this makes you feel weak, well this will teach you not to go to the store to buy something as simple as meat.

I walk inside, and you turn to gimme a look,
Look who's talkin', homie, why YOU with your holy book?
I walk with pride, with dignity, I feel like I deserve it,
You think I'm full with violence, but where's that in my worship?
Jesus brought the bible, Moses brought the Torah, and Muhammad brought the Qur'an,
All those came from Allah.
I know one day you'll realize, the truth was in the Qur'an,
But by then... It'll be too late,
Imagine what you'll have to face,
Your punishment, in the grave,
That even the, snakes will hate,
But then they gotta tell you, you really deserve it,
And you still  say, that I'm talking B.S,
You make me shut up, just because of what I say,
But who'll go with you, in your grave,
You won't be able to blame your mistakes on those who just faked,
Did I not tell you, you were getting tricked?
Your ribcage will tighten,
All the people 'ready left,
Why would they care, of the punishment you gotta face?
This is just an intro,
My friend: listen to what I gotta say,
Hell will come into view,
Screamin'; You wouldn't have deserved this,
All you had to do was just worship,
All you had to do, was show Allah he deserves it,
All the love and respect, you just had to show it,
Not believe those who said, religion don't deserve it,
You said you're not an Atheist, or an Agnostic,
You said you're not a Christian, why didn't you become a Muslim?
All the things I told you, were for this day to come,
I wanted to make you, somehow convert to Islam.
Tell me: Do you crave that punishment?
Then why the hell you ain't gon' listen?
All I want is best for you, you just gotta pay attention,
You call for me, I can't do one thin',
You ain't callin' him, who gave you everythin',

Homie, this ain't a fantasy,
You can't go back in time,
You can't fix all those things,
You just said you had no time,
To worship him who created you,
But when I say this to you, you think that I'm insane,
Pray for your next life, not your worldly fame,
They came with the message, but you never accept it, you said you don't need it,
But now you'd say you believed it,
All you had to do was just worship, but now you don't deserve it,
Don't tell me I never told you: Just become a Muslim,
All those years I tried, told you, you really deserve it,
Now you're shredding tears only full of blood,,
Told you they ain't Islam, they were just F'N up,
Told you I was peace, now what you gon' do,
I always only wished, for what was best for you,  

Violence is not Islam,
Terrorists are not Muslims,
All they wanna do, is use up all their bullets,
Keep calm, 'cause I'm a Muslim, not a terrorist,
Hurry up, it ain't too late, look into Islam,
'Cause I know, you don't deserve ir,
You're so lucky, you have the truth in front of you,
You just outta accept it.

Memes! Angels, aberrations of opposition super standing
overseeing you,

The screamin' heebie jeebies.

Yo, where you wanta go, you axin me we just go

with it, the flow 'know?

What I mean is, are we memes or mes or messes of yeses
gone all johnny rcome late-rotten scarred scared, some thing not so far
from sacred when you put your mind to the whole idea of life being

at all. Thinking this is not easy. We are Able. Our belly's living waters cry out,

you are your brother's keeper, yes, you are.

Be leavin' that be, I am is, and you is,
too. When you apprehend the meme named
war.
That meme has led the me-me mob for as far as men
remember, but
now, machines remember for us, all the facts, just
the facts, ma'am.

Why'd the d go into a comma, Pop?

Welt (Duetch, bitte) Enshaung, glaube ich, vie leicht, aber

are we ever going to filter out these German bleed-overs?
stay tuned, next week the meme beacon is pulled down,

who shall pre or post or ex maybe vail, travail, like
trip
wow, I hate being a 20 year old vet back in the U.S. of A.
FTA All the way, Airborne

*******, Herman Hesse *******
Jorney to and fro the east to west, and soon, et
cetera. Siam is a mere myth now, eh?

As the Narnia thing not called a heathen lie was allowed
allowable in mere Christianity.

I've only seen the English POV's on PBS, they may be filtered through
feedback, meme belching bursting bubbles from new wine 'nold vessels about to plode into eternity, singing along.

Thank you, very much. May I introduce, duce, intro duce, y'gittin this?

Duce means 2 if you see e squeen between, you see that?

Fun. No reason for fun? Who here, now, believes that or, no,
bees leavin' those lies be told?

Hunh? Y'know? Watch man, waht of the night?

See, what I mean? All this from me hearin' some guy say,
"Come and see, like that was  okeh. For any body, n'me, too.

Thinking, as a past-time, is pointless. You know, if you act like it.

In between nitrous gas
And passive aggressive small talk,

"Its too bad about your teeth"
He said.

"You got a good face, bad mouth"

And I'm really laughing now.

Daddy's been screamin that my whole life.

The soul the tortured inward soul
Screams for mercy
The pain to deep
I cut hoping pain will go away
I cry inwardly for The tears wont come outwardly
My past runs through my mind
Day in day out
Haaaa
When will my soul be at peace
When will it heal
Crack by crack my heart breaks
The joy i once had now turns into a maskarade
Cut after cut
Tear after tear
Sleepless night after sleepless night
The screamin soul is begging for mercy
The begging soul is cryin for freedom
The pain is to deep
It is too sad
Wish i could change the past
Hoping i can change my future
Hoping it will go away
Night after night
Tear after tear
Rip after rip
My soul goes through the worst
Death is there everyday
Waiting for permission to stike
Take me now
Don't let my soul suffer anymore

Angels have wings
Well, it depends on your perception
When I first saw you I swear nothing could describe the connection
You looked into my eyes, saw my soul, smiled at me, reached for my heart then offered me resurrection
You asked me why my heart hasn’t been beating in so long
You took a closer look ,saw that it was falling apart and you sung to me a gentle song
And the sound of your voice filled me like air
The touch of your fingers felt like care
My broken heart now pumpin’ racin’ screamin’ cause the last time it lived
it lived in fear,
You tell me Angels have wings
Well, you haven’t met mine
Her kiss is like sunshine
Her soul is like moonshine
Strong, glowing , illuminating

"I'm always getting high cuz' my confidence low...
And I'm always in a rush, ain't no time to **** slow
It's not something I don't know...
But I'm sure I'll make you *** do it three times in a row...
And I'm sure you would've left but that ***** in control...
That ***** in control..."

"I like the thrill...
Nothings ever made me feel so real
So don't leave me here alone,
I don't wanna spend tonight alone..."

I will ******* right, til' you tired to leave me
I will do you right...
Until your subconscious got you screamin' my name
Crave me...
Sensuality got you fallin'
I am your void.

Let the madness be the only thing you embrace as your soul craves me like a drug.
There is beauty behind the madness.
Look
Can you see?
Devour your senses I shall...

So tell me you love me,
Just for tonight
For one night only

Not entirely crazy though a teensy bit insane
outside in the daylight, my mind runs as clear as rain.

I took the test they gave me to find a compatible fellow
Roses are red, Violets are blue, but my heart is screaming yellow.

I bottled up my beeswax, showered off the gloom
hello fresh air and sunshine, come pouring through my room.

Started talking to a stranger, not the average Joe
wait until I meet him, the only way to know.

Yarrow is a color, I heard the Asian mutter
held the petals 'neath my chin to see if I like butter.

An over-ripe banana, brown speckled, getting soft
waitin' for his perfect match, the others he has scoffed.

Not easily misguided, he won't buy into hype
Perfect match confided, he's not the risky type.

Yellow is not fade proof, it washes out in time
hang your heart out here to dry, wind blows it off the line.

Whatever is the point here, of how she done you wrong
your history's no matter to me, it's always the same old song

No longer scared, just waiting, been down around the block
I've hopscotched all these sidewalks, know the cracks and saved my chalk

Today I am feeling ready, tomorrow I'm bleeding blue
orange you glad I'm yellow, a bright and crazy hue?

I don't need no internet, or men to entertain
just read my lips and bring some chips
I'll meet you at the train....

Just read my chin
and hold the gin
I'll meet you at the train!

read my mail
and go to jail
I'll meet you at the train!

read my book
and take a look
I'll meet you at the train!

leave your momma
and hold that comma
I'll meet you at the train!

and if by chance
you like to dance
I'll meet you at the train.

Wild child full of grace
Savior of the human race
Your cool face

Natural child, terrible child
Not your mother's or your father's child
Your our child, screamin' wild

An ancient lunatic reins
In the trees of the night
Ha, ha, ha, ha

With hunger at her heels
Freedom in her eyes
She dances on her knees
Pirate prince at her side
Stirrin' into a hollow idols eyes

Wild child full of grace
Savior of the human race
Your cool face
Your cool face
Your cool face

Do you remember when we were in Africa?

I can hear him,
Hear him long 'fore I sees him.
Can hear him stompin
Stompin 'cross the ceilin
Of the earth like he mad at the world.
Mad at us for just bein.
Rain Man stomp so hard
he send the wind runnin
runnin hard runnin mad
kickin up dust an' pickin up leaves
Screamin at the top of her lungs
Pull down ya garments
and shut up yo hatches.
Call in yo chillun's 'cause
Lawd I declare
The Rain Man comin'
 
I can see him now
sees him off in the distance.
Talltoweringhulk of man.
Skin real dark.
But not that ******-baby
kinda dark what look
like somethin dead been
drug through the mudndipped in tar
with fat uncooked sausages for lips
like they got in the picture shows
an shoppin books.
Nah this that pretty kinda dark
Night sky kinda dark
dark so deep
ya get lost in it and find God there too.
Yeah, he got that pretty dark.
But he got them eyes,
them pretty white eyes
sparkle so hard like God
plucked the North star and the Pointer star
right out the sky and stuckem
in his face.
His hair, thick black coils of hair,
grow like kudzu stretch down
his back and move in the wind like
snakes with minds of they own.
He turns his head backnforth
sendin them vines
flyin
stretchin stretchin to forever till
CRACK
they snap back,
snap back so hard they like to
split the air with fury
that shook me to my soul.
 
I can feel him now
feel him as he wraps me in his arms,
what seem to be made of steel, and
pull me into that chest made of
mountain stones firm
firm like the earth I ain't no
longer standin on 'cause he
picked me up clear off my feet
no connection to the ground but him.
I wrap my birdy lil arms round
his neck and bury my
bony lil fingers in the
layers of his hair.
I can feel the warmth
roll offa him in waves
waves like the ones cornfields
make when they kissed by wind,
or maybe even waves like them from
the sea as they reach out for land to
save them from drownin just 'fore
they fall back into the sea, I just
know that he feel good.
 
I can smell him,
smell every bit of him as I
bury my head deeper into his neck.
He smell warm like the earth,
like red clay smell after he and sun
done made out all day, warm like a
man smell after he done spent
all day hunch backed starin
at the earth tryna trick her to
give'm just a lil somethin to eat.
Even his clothes, holey rags they are,
smell like smoke but not that
cold angry smoke what come from the
factory, not that black stuff what
puff itself up to block out the sun
like he mad at her for shinin so pretty.
Nah, his smoke smell like that soft
gray smoke that drifts lazy-like from
daddy's shed after he done bled a
pig for us to eat during winter.
His smokeyness smell like earth.
 
I can taste him
taste every memory of him
as I kiss blindly startin at his
neck workin my way up
tryna find his mouth.
Every inch of his face taste sweet,
like the caramel candies them old
ladies at church carry round in they bags,
made even sweeter by the salty tang
of each bead of sweat as it tumbles
down his face and drips on my blouse
stainin the pretty lil flowers.
All I know is he taste good.

"Death Around The Corner"

[Child:] Why you by the window?, what's wrong daddy?

[Mother:] I know what's wrong with that crazy *******
He's just stand by the ******* window
with that ******' AK all day
You don't work, you don't ****, you don't,
you don't do a ******* thing

I see death around the corner, gotta stay high while I survive
In the city where the skinny ****** die
If they bury me, bury me as a G *****, no need to worry
I expect retaliation in a hurry
I see death around the- corner, anyday
Trying to keep it together, no one lives forever anyway
Strugglin and strivin, my destiny's to die
Keep my finger on the trigger, no mercy in my eyes
In a ball of confusion, I think about my daddy
Madder than a *******, they never shoulda had me
I guess I seen too many murders, the doctors can't help me
Got me stressin' with my pistol in my sheets, it ain't healthy
Am I paranoid? - Tell me the truth
I'm out the window with my AK, ready to shoot
Ran out of endo and my mind can't take the stress,
I'm out of breath
Make me wanna **** my **** self,
but I see death around the corner

[Chorus]

(When we were kids, belonging felt good)
I see death around the corner
(But having respect, that feels even better)
I see death around the corner
(When we were kids, belonging felt good)
I see death around the corner
(But having respect, that feels even better)

I see death around the corner,
the pressure's getting to me
I no longer trust my homies,
them phonies tried to do me
Smoking too much ****,
got me paranoid, stressed
Pack a gat and my vest,
under my clothes when I dress
Here's hopin I die the way I lived,
straight thuggin'
Huggin' my trigger for all them ******
who was buggin'
My homie told me once,
don't you trust them other suckers
They fought like they your homies
but they phony *******
And even if I did die young, who cares
All I ever got was mean mugs and cold stares
I got homies in my head
who done passed away screamin, please
Young *****, make Gs
I can't give up, although I'm hopeless,
I think my mind's gone
All I can do is get my grind on, death around the corner

[Chorus]

I was raised in the city, ******
Ever since I was an itty bitty kitty
Drinkin' liquor out my momma's *****
And smokin' **** was an everyday thang in my household,
And drinking liquor til' you out cold
And tho' i'm gone now, ***** it's still on- Pow
Bustin on them ****** til they gone
How many more jealous *** *******, comin for my riches
Now I gotta stay suspicious when I bone
Cause if I ain't sharp and heartless,
them ******* will start ****
Excuse me, but this is where we part *****
No more game for free, please explain to me
Why ****** trip *****, who you came to see?
Murderin' now but see me later man, as for my pops
I got homies that will hunt you til you drop
I hope the Lord will forgive me, I was a G
And gettin high was a way of gettin free
I see death around the corner

[Chorus]

This is for all the real ******* ****** out there
I know you ain't scared to die
We all gotta go, ya know ?
A real ******* will pick the time he goes
And make sure he handles his ******* business
Y'all ****** stop acting like ******* out there,
all right

[Movie bites]

I'm tired off getting ripped off by guys like that

I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground
I want to got there in the middle of the night,
I wanna **** on his head
I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground
I want to got there in the middle of the night,
I wanna **** on his head

I want that sonova ***** dead, I want him dead
I want him dead, I don't care

She don't wanna speak to me.
Me mind is hidden under a cloud of darkness.
Dere's a feelin' of inner struggle.
I must release reggae.

spliiiiiff

I rise out of me bed in terror.
Me dreamt of a lonely island boy, lost at sea.
Could you imagine, no friends, no food.
No reggae release.

spliiiiiff

I'm trapped in a reggae box
I can hear me boy screamin', but I can't find 'im.
I call for 'im, "JACO! JACO, MY YOUT!"
I must release de reggae.

spliiiiiff

The room is a maze, no exit.
Could me premonitions be true?
Could me boy truly be lost?
No reggae release.

spliiiiiff

Me vision's too cloudy.
All to be seen is rat-like faces, cringing.
Their snouts snort and sneer to a reggae beat.
I must release de reggae.

spliiiiiff

The floor falls from under me.
A lizard's heavy gizzard appears below.
Crooked, sharp teeth shining tru de dark.
No reggae release.

spliiiiiff

Colours upon colours.
An indigo man stabs, then rapes a magenta woman.
Until the reds, and greens, and blues, explode from her stomach.
I must release de reggae.

spliiiiiff

I catch me breath. I'm in me room.

Safe and sound.

Jeez, what a bad trip, still?

Imma keep
screamin' at these
brick walls.

All day.
Every day.

While my clock is still
    tick
    tick
    tick-ing
.
I will be
all black
&
nothing more.

Until they
bury me underneath
the fresh black
****.
Soiled,
wet dreams
&
nightmare realities.

Of a life
that starts
later.

For now,
I am
only
One wing out the cocoon.

Brown white hell falling
Eyes sharp, an arrow point, Flash!
death from razor talons

Hay bud
      roofies
razorblade coochies
Bubble gum
            glue sniff
spare change electric
automatic blue cheese.
Marked for death
                dont forget
to lay off the wet ****
unless you like the handcuff
kickin and screamin.
I want to smoke your ****
and smoke a jay
                Hay bud
              tell me
You got somethin to say?

Thomas, Tommy baby,
you are both hot,
and sweet.

Tom Cat you’re red hot--
when I catch you in your Tom Cat Strut,
sauntering across campus,
strolling like it ain’t no thing,

cuz it don’t meant a thing
if it ain’t got that swing baby.

So dig this, Tommy Gun,
you groove with the best of ‘em
when I spot you strollin’—

Your head, teetering left and right like a seesaw, boppin’ baby,
arms hangin’ loosely, swinging freely, wildly, go! go!
legs scooping forward in boisterous trombone slides--
Groooooove Tommy baby!

You’re Louis’s best blows--
ten feet from the mic and the Fives baby,
you’re hot, red hot,
any closer and I'll burn up!
Go!

But you’re cool, real cool,
and oh so sweet.
Super sweet--

in your beard like a pepper and salt shaker tossed across the table,
I look to see those rosy lips part,
and peep those pearly whites shinin' like the bell of Louis’s cornet
brandished in the air, under those ballroom lights--
you’re screamin’ Tommy!

Let me hear that laugh that shakes the room,
punches like Blakey’s bass drum,
thumps like Mingus--

T-Bird you’ve got that hard bop in your soul,
you’re gonna bop to the top TB,
into the third heaven where the angels fall in line to your swing,
that incessant strut that keeps the devil at bay,
Blow! Blow! Blow!

And I see you now Tom Cat,
up there in the clouds,
digging your way across eternity,
bopping and jiving, swinging and blowing,

in your faded khaki pants and worn tennis shoes,
loosely buttoned collared shirt,
tight rectangular glasses that glistened the bell of your eyes even more--
I gotta stand twenty feet away Tommy baby!

You glance down at me and wink,
rearing your head back to let loose that Mingus and Blakey
bottom-end laugh,
guffaw guffaw guffaw!!!

--so hearty and rich,
the backbone of every nervous first-year classroom,
and the sniggering seniors you continued to befuddle and dazzle
with your mysterious ways
and insatiable swing.

So blow, Tommy Gun, blow!
Go Tom Cat go!
Dig T-Bird dig!
Let loose Tommy boy!

Swing for us, swing swing swing--
Hot and Sweet, Tommy baby,
hot and sweet.

Just wonderin’… if surrounded… as you are… by the ramblins… of visitors… and the offerins… of hangers-on… and the jokes… of the wanna-be-funny… and the excitement… of your beloved basketball… and the rowdy…  of your down-and-***** football… even tennis… when it’s Venus… and her earthy growls…  and ya girl Serena… with her thigh-strainin’ swing… hell… even hockey… if that’s all there is... playin’ in the background… mixin’ just fine… with children laughin'… and he still flirtin’… after all these years… talkin’ a little *****… after all this water… under the bridge… makin’ you smile… coaxin’ you to…  hang in there baby… to take…  just one more bite… to take…  just one more sip… to smile…  just one more time… I’m just wonderin’… how are you gonna do… when they put you in that place… for sick people… with no loud children… no beloved husband… no bad jokes… no fried chicken in the air… no sports commentators… no big band drums… no somebody screamin’ TOUCHDOWN… for you to… if only for a few precious minutes… wake up to… how are you gonna do…in all of that silence…?

Gag gag and gargle
Draggin’ through the muck of
That place you said you’d never go back to
Screamin’ like a devil in the dark

The bump and grind of his *****
Bump and grind
Got you buckin’ backwards like a
Bulldog
But we both know you should’a’ never brought a dog
To a gun fight

Too late for tears darlin’
Bite lipped quivers never saved a soul
Can hear the fear in the breaks for sobs

The door to his apartment never beckoned
But you broke down the doors
Like you had something to prove
Bent you bilaterally like
The corner you backed yourself into

So perfect in your symmetry
Till you left me for him
Now you got the heart-sag
Jaw dropped
Dope fiend look

Tearing up at the sky
And the flowers
White powder pluggin up your nose holes
Can’t smell the **** on your knees now
Or the muck you got stuck in

You said I wasn’t as fun as he was
As he is
I never wanted to save you anyway
I just thought it was beautiful
The way you praised me for the things I say
And the way I say ‘em

Ya know
I got blasted backwards
By the backlash of you leaving
Kicked up so much dust in the rubble
And left me dizzy with the rumble
Of your feet fleeing the song of some ***** stomp
Headin’
Farther and farther away from safety

At least I was safe
I wasn’t bitter
Even my bite was gentle
Kind enough to remind you I still got teeth
But I won’t use ‘em

So before you leave me
Again
Take the burden
The baggage
The weight of my shoulders
The wait for the phone call sayin’ you finally
****** up and died on me
The mix tapes
The t-shirts
The memories of every moment my heart kept sayin’
“She won’t stay
But hold her for as long as she’ll let you”

Take it all
And go

The preacher man is up there hollerin':
Spittin' hellfire don't fall here, only grace,
But ****, such a hot, fiery grace it is,
People screamin' all over like they was burnin' in it --
Maybe they are,
Burnin' up with thirst, cryin' out about
Walkin' through a desert, tryin' to get to that livin' water . . .
But not me.
I don't see no desert, and I ain't thirsty
'Cause I got me the biggest old lake o' water,
And it's just jumpin' and dancin' there under the sun:
It's all mine and I can drink it, or swim in it,
Or just lay on the bank on my back and soak in the smell of it.
So no, I ain't screamin',
I ain't hoppin' up and down like my feet was on coals.
I'm quiet, quiet, cool and quiet,
And I'm the most alive out of all o' them,
Livin' and just so **** happy
'Cause you are my livin' water
And I love you.

The day was black
Her heart blacker
She hesitated
Her hands poised over the drawer
She knew what it held
She knew it would hurt
But she opened it
Pulling out the contents
She dropped them in the bag.
Moving on she packed her duffel
Opening her phone she dialed his number
“I’m ready, be down in five.”
Dragging the bags to the window
She dropped them out
Tumbling after them.
And running down the lane
She jumped in the back seat
Knuckle touch for her man
Tire’s screamin away they ran
Now she’s gone, she’s long gone
She’s a runaway, a ***** lil runaway
She’s a runaway, a ***** lil runaway
And she ain’t neva comin’ back.

The great gaudy flage is screamin' blood in the streets
                                          loose yawn of a gob on him
                                              all bombast n' swagger
he makes a barrage of nuisance
     channels through the public
         and scatters a juggler's performance spot
                  lobs away his change hat
then, roughly over the cobbles  
                                        he hoicks a resuscitation doll
         and stamps down a posing boot
                                                 on the 'defeated form'

an unprepared scoop of tourists
a pause for silence and begins a rant
a great performance
of well harassed combustion :

"i smear to god all the phalluses
      [he roars, all saliva]
i smug to god
             a full jug of uglies
tug on       [makes the hand gesture for male *******]
i **** off the forger
would slug it in the mug
                          if it ever did form a tissue oath
took a plug at some drunk straggler
called the baffled *** 'god-father'
            and spate spume on his fallen anatomy
[with one hand he indicates the mannequin at his heel]
       amen ******* !"

he bows
a long quiet
some people clap awkwardly
two police officers appear and hook him by the elbows
(it has been this show before)

Take a step into the Firestorm.
Lyrics/Vocals Skitz AKA Mr.Sandman
Track,recording,production-Jay/Eclectic.Collective.
Lyrics.(Copyright Skitz AKA Mr Sandman)

Spittin' fire-desolation of the Sandman,
blink you'll miss the decimation of your clan man,
musical massacre with an Irish style,
time to stop driveling,your old cold style-

cause I'm riled up,fed up sick of your ****,
sit down or be knocked down,listen to the skitz spit,
flammable fumes,verbs turn to flame,
grammar fallin like a grand piano from a crane,
straight to your brain a flash of white light,
wear a fireproof suit you might catch light,
pay stage crews danger cash cause I'm scorchin',
E.C.-Schizophrenic-Sandman torchin,
a four alarm fire,I cause high premiums,
show respect or you'll be rappin through a medium,
mic's a flamethrower leave you screamin,
think you'll burn the Sandman?,wake up,you're dreamin.

Venue's on my menu,get it insured,
I walk through the flames,immune and immured,
immersed in hip hop, a sun gone nova,
drop the mic kid, just run,it's over.
my tank's full,petrol for adrenaline,
flame and blood like my name's Targaryen
you don't want to see my dragon's fly loose,
spit heat like a turnspit-cook your goose,

Stage is flaming,boy you best ghost,
hit the fire bell,you get burnt to toast,
white phosphorus combined in my mind,
get your goggles if you're goggling,you'll wind up blind,
Armageddon approaches,best make your way,
last stage I blazed you may have heard of-Pompeii,
you're gettin calcinated muy calor!,
a Supervolcano eruptin' on a dancefloor.

(chorus)
Magma,Plasma,they're not even warm,
Air Ripped from Lungs becomes fuel for the Storm,
Melt Icecaps,Globe start to warm,
****** Aircon-I spark a Firestorm.

Time to raise the heat,time to raise the stakes,
you're a lost smokejumper,praying for a firebreak,
trees turn to shrapnel,you're out of breath,
"I am fire,I am Death"

Reverse Mic Fiend rhymes steal the oxygen,
lungs collapse as I spin the storm again,
a terrible beauty,and an awesome blessing,
3rd degree burns,apply cool dressings
thats if you're lucky when I spit the gift,
last MC challenged me burnt to a crisp,
by words,deeds,heat bleeds stage smokin-I'm just gettin warm
thoughts spark the flames in a forest I'm a firestorm
fuel air bomb combined with Tsar Bomba,
Mount Doom blowing about to get Sundered,
hate is stokin' me,fuel to the forge,
16kept the heat banked long enough it's time to gorge,
Smaug heats up-flames spew forth,
you're guy fawkes on a pyre of fireworks.

Wondering,and blundering it's time to burn,
time to get roasted,you fool's won't learn,
that I'm hotter than a sunflare,beyond compare,
you're richard pryor tryin to smoke michael jacksons hair
don't dare me to flare into action,
don't care Keisha fusion core reaction,
fukushima and cherbobyl are my barbeques,
couldn't help yourself, you had to light my fuse,
I refuse to cool down-I'm scorchin',
Firestormtrooper lit,time for torchin'
Firewalk-comparison? Huh,a cool breeze,
flatten the building like Tunguska's tree's,
eyes hotter than Cyclops,you're weak at the knees.
supernova 200 billion degree's

(chorus)
Magma,Plasma,they're not even warm,
Air Ripped from Lungs becomes fuel for the Storm,
Melt Icecaps,Globe start to warm,
****** Aircon-I spark a Firestorm.

The first time I died, it wasn’t intentional and it was only in my head.

I keep dying, I keep staying alive, nothing is intentional.

They told me to put glitter on my scars,

to cut off my fingers and toes and feed them to the earth,

they told me to live in ways that forced people to look at me.

So I

cut my hair,

dyed it any color, made people look.

What happened was, they stared more at my knuckles, skin that spoke “STAY HERE”

and I knew that scared them.

Put glitter on your scars, they said. Put paint on your body, push ink up under your fingernails, tell the world you are alive in all the ways you can.

So I sang my life on city streetcorners, I screamed my life in fast-moving cars on the highway, I closed my eyes while I was driving straight and I am alive, alive, alive.

I keep dying though. Everyday I keep dying and it still feels fresh now, like a new bruise just barely bloomin’ under your skin or your coat. I keep screamin’ to keep the demons at bay, I keep writing to keep the mania movin’ and groovin’ to what life is now.

I keep killin’ in my head, I keep killin’ the demons, but sometimes they touch the back of my eyeballs so gentle, I cry so deep, I leak I leak I leak.

Put glitter on your scars, they said. I will keep trying. My home is a place in my heart that I haven’t found yet, my home is watercolors and ink and blood.

To the ones who have wondered, I am still alive. Some days I barely speak, but don’t worry because I am still so alive, I am still screaming to myself, I am still putting glitter on my scars, I am still writing life into my skin, I am still putting water and sun on my face. I am still curling my toes when I hear good songs. I am still wanting to run when the boys look at me. I know they want. I know I want something else, something you.

I have turned my bruises into landscapes, my fingers into dancing sprawling actions, my fists are still here, I swear. They still say “STAY HERE.”

And you wonder why they call u *****? ?
Cuz ****** n hoes quick to switch
Like this one muthafucka
Tried to set me up with the feds
Now he dead clothes soaked in red
God bless the dead
I aint lyin'
Keep my thai **** fryin'
My spirits cryin'
Out loud tryna tell me to avoid
The pain but i cant in then rain?
Uh unless i wanna get wet up
So all my real homies throw ya set up
Guns up
In gats we trust bust
At the pulpits from hell
We dont care we ride or die
And if we fail
Ill little semens will grow
and vanish the demons thats schemin'
Be on the look out
Watch ya mouth
Cuz fools quick to rush in
Pistol smokin' i seen one of my homies eyes open
Stiff as a log mind began to jog
Tryna escape the smog
But they really wanna see dead or in the penitentiary
But i see ten years ahead of the game
No shame quick to light the flame
Burn muthafuckas if they try
Still running in the fields
Pressure buildin' up
Cuz my society corrupt
Ya might be here today
And gone tomorrow
And the family only feels the sorrow
Borrow
A tinted window in the stretch limo
Sayin' eulogy
For all the thugs before me
But im still battlin' the sable
Makin' gilt that my peeps fall for
And end up in the killing fields uh
**** life til i die!!!!



Foools wearin' bulletproof vest
To protect they chest
When muthafuckas been takin' head shots
With the infered dots
And Yea... i call 'em the cops
Somebody gotta drop
**** the law we raw and rugged
With our ****
Hardest to spit soon to hit
Every ghetto city in the country
They'll mourn me
And remember the the game
I gave to ya
cuz if you got a mind
They'll try to abuse ya
Told ya the time is now
Muthafuckas quick to take a bow
Givin' honor to temporary fame
Learn the game
Bring ya own rules fools
Still search for 40 acres and a mule
But they aint gone never give it to you
But dont give up
Just bomb rush these muthafuckas
Until they act up
Bawlin' for state of an emergency
Call up the national guard
Cant **** a million nigguhs with
weapons
Then when they step in
Let them ******* have it
With the automatic
We causin static
To every news radio station
Shook up the whole nation
Got everybody screamin **** life
Revengin' for Malcolm X
This is for all the real leaders
That got killed
And ended up yoooo
In the killing fields


Im deeep in yo brains
Like illusion from *******
Mixed with hennessey
Gotta nigguh think
He strong mayne? ??
Aint no rest for the wickd
Since societys sadistic
I gotta keep my nine
On the side of my hip
No bloods or crips
Just real killers ready to bust at yo ****
Guard it well
Cuz if we fail
My troops goin to jail
The next day they out on bail
Though im dead
Ill be comin' back
Penetratin' enemies
With the bullets of my mac
No slackin' bodies Stackin
**** life is way of the game
No shame
To bring the pain
Uh we exterminatin' nation
Leavin' no remainsssss
now ya stuck in the fields!! $$

It's killin' me,

the way you always
heed my silent becks
to the cat's cradle
for the dim-dusked
shimmyings we do,

for the middle of the courts
hopscotchin' we improv
in the
catacorner criss-crosses
we continue to let
splash
in the middle of our
bashing pool.

stakes are
brimstoned
high
this time-

higher than the dizzy chicks
with flower magic
stick-on things
not really covering their ******* -

their faith's got them
grinning down
proudly
to the matrix hubbub below,
from the drooping shoulders
of their guy bits
in matching flowers

('cause we're all one here
yeah? - yeah!).

tonka tricks
litterin' my walkway -
slinkin' around,
tryna play on with
the big cats -

instead,

just trippin' up my
flutter game -

chill out.

i mean,

i'm not complainin'
'bout the mess your
charcoal lashes keep
leavin'
after payin their
naughty boy dues
to them round things
just one step down -
makin' love to
the apples bobbin'
in cheeky
conversation.

i've kinda got this
cheshire thing goin' on -
the way my smile swells
too slowly for you -
showin' off whiffs of
those secret things

the ones i only hold onto to
to keep rattlin' your cage
with the big toys
i keep tellin' you
you can't have.

but
you keep
swimmin' in that pool
of excessive *****
traps
thinkin' there's a way
to ****** the magic
carpet from beneath my
bottom,

believing some dumbly
that your charcoal
is the only fire starter i'll ever want
markin' up my agenda.

you're screamin' a bit too loud
now, Cubby -
readin' to me the words
i can't see written across
my face.

I can't see 'em
without a mirror,
though i can feel the letters
being etched into my skin
with every flipped card
i wasn't
necessarily
tryin' to flip.

but, honey
i got cosmic dust
stored in my fingertips

a special
spunky mix
i like to throw down on
in the kitchen with
the sandman's concoctions -

plan A and plan B
it's a fight just to see in -
need to be prepared
for whatever is comin'.

though you ain't snatched
the rug yet,
i'm lollygaggin' on the
tip of the edge

my carpet's doin this
rufflin' thing -
and i'm slippin'.

you got me
colonizin' your corduroys
draggin' my stirred and ragged heart
behind me -
too sturdy and ambitious
in its wild-hearted
persistence.

gonna bust open
this fruit bloom, here
if it takes me all day
and all night.

I am
an ant,
looking for salvation
in big places.

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin'my daughter on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These ******' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on


Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
"But baby wait,
"It's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, **** it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..

buzz, ****
doit, mute
hustle first
then bustle
screamin' chops
tired lips
crimson ties
broken blues
closed circles
open arms

wag the dog
book the gig
call the cab
hit the beat
play the set
chew the fat
sell the axe
make the rent
let the next
be the last

Wake up screamin’ in the middle of the night
I taste the bile that’s starting to rise
And know that I’m in hell again
‘Cause the zombie mother ******* are screamin’ outside
More real than the demons in my own mind
And maybe I should let them in
‘Cause the world’s already been eatin’ at my brain
And everything I’ve done has been in vain
So dead inside is all I am
With all the human monsters drainin’ me
Feedin’ on my pain and misery
I’m already feedin’ the ******

Tonight I’ll die without you
You can’t control my demise
I’ll suffer well without you
I’m already dead inside

I open up the door and walk to the end
Of the drive and my life, where my new friends
Are just like me, so dead inside
I welcome them and their cold embrace
And smile as the blood pours down my face
Their teeth the last thing through my mind
I wake with a hunger like never before
And find I have never wanted anything more
Than feeding on the living brain
My ******* neighbor’s still asleep in his bed
He wakes up screaming as I empty his head
That ******* died in horrible pain

Tonight I live without you
I can’t control my appetite
I’ll feed my pain without you
I am dead inside

It seems each victim wears your face
And now a thought I can’t erase
I’m wasting this gift I’ve been given
I leave a ****** trail right to your door
And find you huddled up on the floor
Regrettin’ the life you’re barely livin’
You see it’s me and start to scream
As a feeling so much better than any dream
Comes as I taste the waste inside your head
I smile as the life inside you fades
And the pain you’ve been feeding on starts to invade
Just like me, you are the living dead!

Tonight, I have devoured you
I’ve become your demise
I have finally shown you
What it’s like to be dead inside

Your misery becomes you
So lost and empty inside
I’ve given what I owe you
Just like me, you’re dead inside

based on a song by Bob Dylan

oh, what did you see
my blue eyed son?
oh, what did you see
my darling young one?

i saw an old man
with feet that were bleeding
i saw a young child
with eyes that were pleading
i saw an old frigate
it's sails black and rotten
a man on an island
who's soul was forgotten
a poet in chains, an artist in prison
a fiery phoenix who's newly arisen

and it's a hard... it's a hard...
it's a hard... it's a hard...
it's a hard rain's a'gonna fall

and what did you hear
my blue eyed son?
what did you hear
my darling young one?

a man played a trumpet
through teeth that were broken
i heard the last kind word
that ever was spoken
the tears of a whale
upon a red beach
the flutter of flags
the last truth to be preached
a man a'screamin
a maiden a'mournin
a valley a'drownin
a mountain a'formin

and it's a hard... it's a hard...
it's a hard... it's a hard...
it's a hard rain's a'gonna fall...

so what will you do
my blue eyed son?
oh, what will you do
my darling young one?

i'll throw my arms out
and shake fists at the sky!
i'll never stop asking...
i want to know why!
i'll never forget the man with the lie!
i'll fight the good fight...
and then i will *die!

'cause it's a hard... it's a hard...
it's a hard... it's a hard...

*it's a hard rain's a'gonna fall!

I'm gettin' tired of tellin' everybody how bad she treats me now.
I keep hearing myself buzzing round and round,
Like a disgruntled honey bee, who can't find his hive nor his queen.
I'm a broken record by now, you know what I mean.

So I sit here on this dry, sunny day,
Drinkin' whiskey and singing the same song when I play.
I guess I just wanted her to hear me say.

I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.
I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.

She came in looking like a sin, struttin' past my way
looked me over then said, "You shouldn't gawk that way".
Then I stood up, gave in and took her home anyway,
She slipped out before the light of day.
So I say,

I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.
I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.

When you look she's divine, then find out she's a demon.
You wake up in the middle of the night,
She's got you hollerin' and screamin'.
What do you get when you love a razor with the body of Venus?
You just say,

I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.
I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.

I'm goin' back home now, done with her anyhow, anyways.
Find some land with horses, sheep, orchard trees and some cows.
This bee don't care no more 'bout his queen or the colony.
Before I left, I shot her down, then ran from the felony.
Don't do what I did, but I meant when I say,

I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.
I didn't like that, no. I really didn't like that.

I really didn't like that.