It had been three months
since I last saw my face in the mirror.
One might wonder, why that long?
You see, there is something about mirrors
something about looking at yourself
and not having a conversation
just looking, observing and looking again.
That, does not sit well with me.
What if the other man talks back?
Or, what if he comes out and strangles me
and becomes me?
I do not want to give him that power.

Today, however, I looked in the mirror
My heart clenched like a baby's fist
when I saw how old I had become
how the wrinkles on my forehead curved
as if to make a mockery of the trajectory of my life.
I had never noticed the changes
because I had always embraced the child beneath
forgetting the child had become a man
and no ritual had been done for the initiation.
I had blossomed beneath the petals but I had
chosen to ignore the feeling
Right there, I could see all the talent
and the potential I had slept on
each time I snoozed my alarm for another 15 minutes
hoping to get more rest from my dreamless state.

But you see, one cannot sleep forever
unless they choose to do so.
And this is a path I told myself never to take
for I still want to travel to the far lands
and see how the children yonder dance to the rhythm of the winds
I still want to listen to the cracking laughter of my lover
when I retell one of my old jokes,
the one she has heard 42 times so far.
I still want to drink some of the local brew at the old shelter
and dance shirtless on top of one of the wooden tables
and feel my skin vibrate to the sound of the drums
coming from the big old speakers placed in the corner of the dark room
Most importantly, I want to move away from this mirror
and stop looking at myself
because it is making me talk a lot.

I'm hardly the one
You left behind,
Twenty odd years ago;
The suit fits much better,
Now I'm in the show.
I'm not using slight-of-hand,
No smoke or mirrors,
Just running sand;
The big tent long left town.

I know the four directions,
And how my wind will blow.
And even at a four way stop
I know who has the right-of-way.
And when it's my turn to turn,
I'll step on the pedal and spin my wheels
And drive myself insane.

One thing that truly changes
No matter how I cut my hair
Or the kind of clothes I put on.
When I look in the mirror I am
still me.

Not very often do second chances
come around.
How often do things change
No matter if I trim my beard
Or let myself go and my belly
hangs over my belt.

One thing that truly changes
How quick you threw your clothes on
& left me with conversations we'll
never have again.

When I look in the mirror
I am still me
When I step outside I am still me
One thing that never changes

We used my last name
As part of being together
So tomorrow we could end it
Cash and cheap pen
Is all we need
To seal the deal
With the legal devil
But my heart's the ink
And my hands are shaking
I don't want to leave you
I still love you
Like early days full of promises
The idea of leaving the nest
To build a new one
I don't want to leave you
I still love you

take every chance you get
every single one
cause right now
all i feel is regret
for not taking that chance
on us

You used the oldest play in the book,
But I’m a sucker for antiques and I’m optimistic to a fault.
You said don’t be worried,
But why is this time different?
We’ve always ruined it with our vicious cycle,
And the venom is just sweet enough that even though we are rotting, we still want seconds.
Please don’t let this be poison disguised as nectar.
Next time, I won’t come back.

I admit, I’ve never chosen you.
Falling in love is temporary,
love is a choice.

And I surrender to you.

You’re heart is grandiose.
In search of an asylum,
the delicacy of your love,
softens my core.
Peering into your soul,
through the earthy green
in your eyes, that spec of blood orange
a fire lights inside of you, hungry
to achieve a purpose.
I want to be your motivation,
be your motivator.
We could lose time
but we’d meet back at the equator,
once again, feeding the fire
that lights for you and I.
We’ve survived darkness
time & time again, lost.
In search of that dwindling fire
we find each other, nose to nose.
We are special,  We are young, We are beautiful, We are complex,
We are strong.
We are real.
Years spent, trying to navigate
the passion of our love.
We’ve rebelled against time,
against distance...
We are flawed, we are damaged.
But we are stubborn in love.

I hope I’m not too late,
I want a clean slate
I’m not holding back anymore.
For the first time, boo
I choose you.

You bathe in my radiance,
With your eyes closed,
Taking what you need from me,
to strengthen your bones.

You stick around,
Just long enough,
But now its time for you
To wander off.

I expect that you will soon return
To use me again,
So I wait patiently,
Here on spectrum end.

When you return
You will regret not wandering sooner,
This time too much of me
Might just destroy you.

I am
Ultraviolet