Married with a purpose, always dreamt of a different life all together
This is the reason I don’t believe in god
And why should I,
I don’t know if all this makes sense or not
Is this the case with god that whatever you ask from him
He ll give you totally opposite of the same
I certainly asked for a life happier and more stable than this
Days pass by and I don’t find a single reason to be happy
Days pass by and I don’t find a moment of stableness
Days pass by and all I feel is numbness and pain
Days pass by and all I feel is more distant from my soul
Why only heart dead brain dead is considered to be dead
Isn’t the person who has stopped to feel happiness pain sorry
Who has forget how it is to be happy at all
How it is to feel normal and yourself
How it is to be close to your partner
How it is to have fun in life !!


Why soul dead is not considered to be dead!!
I am not alive why this is not a death in itself!

Once upon a time,
When I was in my prime,
The world looked so bright,
And there was hope in my heart.

But reality dawned on me,
The truth I finally see,
Such a fool I was per se,
Life's not what I thought it to be.

My dreams once soared high,
Creativity and art was my war cry,
But now I tire, God I barely try,
The dreams and hopes, they die.

Now the child is dead,
The vision's jaded,
Nothing's alive, its all faded.

The tension is rising slowly, as the blood pools beneath fingernails
I can hear the ropes start snapping, brittle as a leaf
The bells begin tolling, the vultures swirl amid the frigid air
Of the televised devastation of the week

I hide my true intentions, I do
Somewhat well, if I must then
Admit to something,
I didn't really care too

Stop me if you've heard this one before
Or heard it better, somewhere else
---------------------------------------------------
Sending money through the wire
Never ending crimson flow

Past the thoughts of victims
Intuition caught in undertow

Masqurades with musket powder, kegs
And lampshades tinted red

Festering my own psychotic
Philanthropic need for death

Sending money through a wire
Rising slowly through the smoke

Laughter bursting through the cracks
Of somebody's final joke

Celebrations, conversation
Windowpains and slitting throats

Powers set to loosen grips
But destitute, watch me still choke

I think its time we could talk about the ending
Open the intent that we're pretending
Its something to be said aloud
Lost within the frigid clouds above

Oceans slowly forming up above
torrents under spoken like a flood

Oceans slowly forming up above
The mainland

My skin hurts
                        tingles at the touch
                         stands on end
My stomach aches
                         full of only air
                         screeching out of hunger
My body feels weak
                         tripping at each step
                         gasping for breath
But my emotions are even worse
And so my physical pain feels nice

And so that's all I pray for
feeling

Because for brief instant that is what I lacked

lifelessness

And it was worse than any physical pain

when he told me he could never love me again