Deeper reaches
Other meaning
Choked demons
Random bleeding
Drawing traces
Displaced braces
In my mind

Fluids dripping through cracks in my scar tissue congeal microscopic bridges connecting permanent mistakes waiting to decay in my mind

Grim strafing
Wheat chafing
Smoke flaying
Dreamscaping
Loose laces
Short chases
Run races
Baseless
In my mind

Faint pulses jolt me awake and the street light shines in my eyes and the thought of my life streaming endlessly by leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside and dying leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside and living leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside and breathing leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside and knowing leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside there is nothing leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside leaves me panicked inside I can do

Here come the woman
With the look in her eye
Raised on leather
With flesh on her mind

Words as weapons
Sharper than knives
Makes you wonder how the other half die
How the other half die
Makes you wonder, wonder, wonder

Here come the man with the look in his eye
Fed on nothing but full of pride
Look at them go, look at them kick
Makes you wonder how the other half live

Devil inside
The devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Here come the world
With the look in its eye
Future uncertain but certainly slight
Look at the faces listen to the bells
It's hard to believe we need a place called hell
A place called hell

The devil inside
The devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
The devil inside
Every single one of us

Here comes the woman
With the look in her eye
She's raised on leather
With flesh on her mind
Words are weapons sharper than knives
Makes you wonder how the other half die

Devil inside
The devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
Devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
Devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
Devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

The devil inside
Yeah, yeah, yeah
The devil inside
Yeah, yeah, yeah


Songwriters: Michael Hutchence / Andrew Farriss
Devil Inside lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

I look like I'm not troubled.
Fact is, deep within, I'm in a ball, curled and doubled.
Inside of my Soul,
Piercing shrieks are all that are heard
The opacity of night is brighter than magnified light compared to the darkness that is so profound.
Within the Inside of my Soul,
To reach my demise is a wish upon a star,
of which is only a vague experience dreamt
.
Within the Inside of my Soul,
On the surface I may feel fine, traverse deeper... there, now you are where the madness is withheld. Further yet, and I know not what you shall find!
Within the Inside of my Soul,
This region is neither authored by my body nor my mind.
The Inside of my Soul,
Consistently it stirs for either omniscient peace,
or to end the constant turmoil and cease
Within the Inside of my soul,
I see no imminent release,
Within the Inside of my Soul,
As does the Sun, my Soul either rises or sets, yet it never rests... even when unseen
Within the Inside of my Soul,
As my heart beats the blood that constantly flows, So too never is there rest within,
The Inside Of My Soul!

-end-

Revised from Feb. 18th, 2009 which is as follows:

"Inside of my soul"(Original)

I look like I'm not troubled,
but the truth is, I'm in a ball, curled and doubled.
Inside of my soul,
only screams are heard and the night is light compared to the dark that is so thick with in the inside of my soul
death is a wish upon a star, of which is only dreamt, inside of my soul.
Yes, I might feel fine, go a little deeper, then you will reach my mind, there, now you are where my madness is withheld. but further still, I know not what you shall find.
Inside of my soul, this place is not under the control of my body or mind.
My soul, it constantly stirs for either peace or to one day cease.
I CANT GET A GRIP! So I pray for a release; Inside of my soul.
Like the sun, it either rises or sets, yet it never rests, even when unseen
Like the blood that flows from my heart to my body, there is no rest with in the
Inside of my Soul.

-end-

Chapter 1:  Jack Thought It Was Laughter

Jack thought it was laughter.  The wind blew so hard it actually forced his soul outside where his body would follow. It was at the clearing by the creek where he first saw it. It looked like blood as the wind laughed at the absence of his reflection in the snow.  He didn’t know how to feel and for the first time in this most familiar place, he was really lost.  Fear blanketed the trees and he was alone inside himself.  He was now forced to deal with the result of years of living with only one eye open. He had blinded himself to something he had always denied and was confined to a place where men often become the victims of their greatest undoing.

There were no bear or wolf signs to match the lingering bad intent that was now spread all over the trail.  He looked around and the colors called out to him but there was no rainbow only a prism trapping his unborn redemption inside a false red image. He moved forward slowly unsure of his direction but unable to do anything else.

Fighting this enemy would be much harder now, as fear burrowed deeper and deeper inside. The harder he fought, the harder the fight became. Inside himself, he could feel the object of his intended destruction growing stronger.  In the distance a lone wolf howled — at least it sounded like a wolf. Its cry loomed high above as a mocking echo to his silence calling him in its direction as it then changed into something Jack had never heard before.

Why do men have to go on journeys such as this Jack wondered?  All he saw was darkness as the tunnel bored ever deeply inside him forcing him through the whiteout to the uncertainty beyond.  He wasn’t sure of anything as it howled again encircling him with its cry in the darkness. It was imploring him in his darkest places to finally do something. The far off cry was daring him to finally stop this killer, the one who was hunting in the corners of his affirmation, slaying with its fury all his hopes and dreams.

                                        Suddenly It Stopped

If it was an animal, it had left no tracks to where the wind had been laughing in the dark. It was laughing at a joke Jack still had not heard while creating another memory of something he still had not become. Do men only hunt for something that in the end makes them less of themselves?

Jack grabbed his quiver and bow, secured his pack, and continued North up the trail.


  The Red Stains In The Moonlight Beckoning Him To Follow



Chapter 2:   Jack Crouched In The Darkness

Jack crouched in the darkness.  The tracks looked almost human, but the only heartbeat he could hear was the one now beating inside his own chest.  He’d been following these tracks for the last thirteen hours.  The blood trail had now stopped, but the animal creating it hadn’t.  Jack estimated the loss of blood at over four pints.

What mammal could continue in this cold after losing so much blood?  Jack crested the next hill and saw something moving in the thicket seventy-five yards ahead.  Instinctively, he took an arrow from his quiver and laid it loosely inside his bow.  Would this finally be the moment that he would blow away the myth about the Hairy Man?  Would this be the time that Jack would finally come face to face with his own manhood or would it just be a turkey or a deer hiding behind the thicket now less than thirty yards ahead?

Jack now switched from tracking to stalking mode.  He lowered his body position at least two feet and tried to regulate his breathing.  The movement inside the bushes had stopped, but the tracks leading to them were fresher than ever.  It had snowed during the night and the tracks a mile or so back were rounded and contoured around their edges.  These tracks were sharp and defined with loose snow falling down their sides as if freshly made.  

The bushes moved again, and it was just then that Jack noticed it.  The top of his bowstring had come undone and slid six or seven inches down from the top of the bow.  Panic started to set in as Jack searched for a patch of hard snow to brace the bow against to reset the string.  From the corner of his eye he now saw it.  A large dark figure was stooped and hunched down in the shadows to the left of the thicket as if positioning itself and getting ready to strike.  

Jack pushed and pushed on the bow trying to get it to bend.  Every time he did, the bottom of the bow would slip on the wet snow and ice and the string would once again slide back down and go lax in his hand.  Again and again he tried always with the same result.  There was a tree just twenty feet to his right. The hard bark surface would give Jack the pressure he needed to bend the bow and force the string back up inside the notch.  

The only problem with this new strategy is that Jack would have to turn his back on the thicket bush.  If he were to survive this encounter, he would have to rely on just sounds, feeling, and instinct, as his vision was now turned away from the threat up ahead.  Just as the bowstring snapped into place, Jack felt something large, very large, collide at high speed with his left shoulder.  In a daze he was spun around and thrown face down in the snow and knocked momentarily unconscious.  

When his head finally cleared, he saw the same tracks that he had been following all morning on both sides of his fallen body. They were now heading straight back in the direction from which they had come.  Blood no longer accompanied these tracks, and Jack had to face the fact that maybe, just maybe, what he had been following all day would now be hunting him.

           … And That There May Be More Than Just One



Chapter 3:  Back Down The Trail

When Jack was able to once again walk, he headed off in the direction of the southbound tracks.  He went no more than two miles down the trail when he saw a large deadfall off to his right.  The logs and branches were all disturbed as if something or someone had walked right over them.  Jack followed cautiously.  With one arrow in his mouth, and one on his bowstring, he stepped carefully over the tracks that led around back.

It was around back that he saw the blood trail resume.  It had been over two hours since he had seen any blood, and this worried him for reasons he did not yet understand.   Behind the deadfall, and totally hidden from the trail he had been on, was a clear set of tracks. Something or someone was traveling or being carried or dragged behind these tracks. The blood was evident in the snow, right in the middle of the wide swath it made, at intervals of every ten feet.  The blood was heavier than before. The trail had turned and now headed due West up the 15 degree incline toward the tall mountains not two miles in the distance.  

What kind of animal, other than human, drags away its dying or its dead?  What other animal would put itself at such risk for something in such bad shape?  Wolves and bears will stand and fight to the death to defend their young, but there have never been stories or tales of them carrying off their dead and wounded.  Only humans do this. But the tracks he was now following were too big to have been made by any man.  There was now less than twenty minutes of daylight left and soon Jack would be alone in the dark.  Being in the dark, and in search of what he didn’t know and now feared, was something that was beyond his control but not beyond his haunting imagination.  

One question had been lingering in his mind and bothering Jack all day since his encounter with whatever it was that ran over him and knocked him unconscious. Why had the animal only knocked him down and not then stopped and finished the job?  Jack was unconscious and totally defenseless.  Why was he left alone in the woods just dazed but not seriously hurt?  Why was he left alive to now ask these questions?

Jack had to decide whether to continue following the blood trail or to camp for the night.  He had both a visceral and foreboding feeling that he was not only tracking the animal, or animals, ahead, but that something or someone was also following him and watching his every move.   Being caught out in the dark and alone at night and trapped between what were now at least two monsters was more than Jack could stand.  He decided to stop and wait two hours and watch and listen before going any further.  

With loaded bow in hand, Jack started to climb a seventy-foot -high Douglas Fir that sat about ten yards off the trail.  The tree offered both easy climbing and good cover once Jack was fifteen or twenty feet above the ground.  He had not eaten in over twenty-four hours and now that he had stopped, his ravenous hunger started to set in.  He had been eating snow all day to maintain hydration, but there was no visible food source that Jack could see in the snow. The only food he had brought with him was in the pack that was knocked from his back when the animal charged.  It was nowhere to be found when Jack regained consciousness.  The animal must have carried it off as it headed South and back down the trail.    

The wind blew through the lowlands as it headed toward the mountains and carried with it Jack’s fear — although he knew he couldn’t turn back.  Turning back was now for lesser men, one’s that would then lead lesser lives, separated once again from themselves.  Before the two hours had passed, Jack again heard what he was not able to see. At least two large animals passed below him on the trail and not fifty feet from where he sat high in the tree.  They were also headed West straight for the mountains that were barely visible in the quarter moon’s light. Jack could tell there were two because he could discern the differences in their breathing.  In the deafening silence, their breaths were first high and then muffled then high and then muffled again.  They made no other sounds, passed quickly, and were then gone. Jack decided to spend the rest of the night perched and hidden high up in the tree.

Abandoning all attempts at denial, Jack now reasoned that it was possible he had at least three and possibly four of these monsters headed in the direction that he was committed to follow. He wondered again … Had they seen, smelled, heard, or felt him up in the tree as they passed closely and quietly below?  Did they know he was there and have no fear of him at all. Had their understanding ******* his in what had just happened? Jack felt a strong Deja-vu overtake the prescience of the moment and a drive stronger than ever from inside him told him that he had to go on. He felt he was being lead but by who and for what purpose he did not know.

Daylight finally broke, and Jack dropped to the ground and headed slowly West following the now wider trail as it climbed higher into the trees.  There were now large tracks on top of other large tracks but one thing had not changed.  Massive amounts of blood were everywhere and the blood was still wet.  It took Jack until late afternoon, with dusk setting in, to climb the now steep trail to the mountain’s base.

Just beyond the tree line and in a secluded depression of the mountain to the northwest, the tracks ended.  Hidden in the recess of the mountain’s crease appeared to be the entrance to a large cavern or cave.  Jack walked to within a hundred yards of the cave’s entrance, crouched down, and watched for any movement or noise that might be heard.  In thirty minutes, no sound or motion came from the entrance.  The only thing out of the ordinary at all was the now almost totally red trail — created by the blood leading inside the cave.  

Now was the real moment of decision or indecision.  Now was the moment that all Jack’s life had been preparing for.  Now was the time between myth and reality where the price of the discovery could be the discoverer himself.  Now, it was Jack’s moment.

                                          It Was His Time

With one life-affirming step, Jack moved towards the cave realizing that no matter what, he could not turn back.  He dropped to one knee as he stepped inside the cave trying again to control his breathing as his heart tried to beat through his chest.  With just small rays of moonlight coming over his shoulder from the east to guide him, Jack now crawled into the darkness his bow still in hand.  He traveled not more than fifteen feet when he felt a sharp object underneath his right knee.  As he looked down and let his eyes slowly adjust to the very dim light, he saw that someone or something had made a circle out of rocks about twenty-four inches in diameter — a cooking circle.  He put his hand in the center but the ashes were no longer warm.

With his left knee he stepped on something hard and flat.  When he reached down to pick it up he saw it was a club or a crude hammer.  It had a rock attached to a shortened tree branch with vines and some mud.  It was a rudimentary tool or weapon, and whoever or whatever had made it was not a bear or a wolf or anything Jack had encountered in the wild up until now.

As he continued forward his head bumped into something hard.  He reached up into the darkness and realized he could now stand up, and as he did, he felt an enormous stone structure in front of him.  As he felt in the dark, he could tell it was a giant boulder blocking his way over six feet wide and at least eight feet tall.  Something or someone had dragged, pushed, or pulled the boulder in front of the narrowing passageway blocking further entrance to anyone who might follow.  Was this done by those on the other side of this huge rock or by someone or something that was still hiding on this side?  Jack pushed and pulled and shoved with all his might, but no matter what angle he chose or how hard he tried, the boulder would not move.  

He could sit there and wait, but wait for what?  Surely Jack thought: “Those creatures must have another entrance or exit available to them.  What if they did the same thing to the cave’s outer opening?”  Jack would then be trapped inside a prisoner of no known reality and unable to finish the journey that his life had set him upon. He now questioned what chance he would have had with his one small bow against creatures so endowed.  He realized then that he hadn’t questioned before because the question didn’t exist.  With just his bow, hunting knife, or only his bare hands, it made no difference.  Jack’s spirit was powering this hunt, and in its completion, his soul would hang forever as a trophy he could truly own.

It was at this moment that Jack’s epiphany happened.  What chance would he want to have against these creatures?  They had outran, outwitted, outmaneuvered, and outthought Jack every step of the way.  Why should he think any further pursuit would be different?  With a silent prayer he backed away from the boulder with a reverence only known by those no longer in fear of death.  As he walked back through the entrance of the cave and into the moonlight he stopped.  He removed the arrow from the bowstring, and as he did, he heard a primordial cry calling out from the wilderness.  In his thirty-seven years in the back woods he had never heard such a sound before.  

                             And It Was Calling His Name …

Jack had counted coup on his greatest adversary, and his spirit was now free. He realized that he had finally been absorbed into the great mystery. The one that must stay the way it was — the day before — and the day before that.  It was a new sense of himself that Jack would carry with him to the grave and beyond.  In failing to confront the Hairy Man, Jack found himself while alone inside that dark cave surrounded by his fear and passion for something more.  As he headed back down the mountain, he realized for the first time that it was not about what could be killed in the night but about what was promised with the dawn of a new rebirth … Jack never hunted again.

     The Wild Man Calls From Deep Inside Where Only The                                           Brave Can Hear



Epilogue:

Is the Wild Man only in the thickets and caves or now accepted inside your heart? What did that boulder really have locked behind it?  Who really had the power to make it move?  Is it a boulder we put in front of ourselves feigning entry to who we really are?  These questions and more puzzled and bothered Jack as he stood alone in the dark.  

Who does the Wild Man cry out to and from how far away?

How often have we heard his unanswered screams that we immediately translate into something of our own lesser choosing and something we more than anything want to control.  The Wild Man is the connection to our future, present, and past.  Laying dormant in our denial, he stalks the hidden trails of our hopes and dreams, leaving blood for us to follow on the one’s that we are most afraid to walk.  

Shedding his blood for the misguided, he suffers in our attempt to pretend he isn’t there.  The only part of us that was, is, and always will be, is that which he carries inside.  He dies because it is something he cannot keep.  He lives only by giving us back to ourselves usually at our greatest moments of fear and indecision.  He hides away on a dark mountaintop waiting for us to walk the trail of our own darkness, freeing us during our greatest moments of doubt, then allowing us to turn around and walk back into the light.

Who was it really that was being dragged up that mountain bleeding — and dying of unrecognition?

What Jack had always believed in was the source of his fear.  Tonight, he was at the crossroads of his destiny and all creation. The choice on this night to not believe would have in its undoing — left nothing of Jack.

Before, in always choosing between what to believe and not who, or who to believe and not what, Jack lived his life in the dichotomy of a false existence. Tonight, that dividing line was erased.

The Wild Man lives inside us all!  In exposing the lie that more protection offers us safety, Jack finally found himself.  No longer doomed to search endlessly through the deep snow, he was free to marvel in the connection of all that surrounded him.

I wish the same for you!  

Recognize and release the Wild Man you hide inside.  Refasten the eternal connection between what you fear and who you were meant to be.


Kurt Philip Behm

July 15th, 2010

The library is too quiet to read
too contemplate her clothed *******
the wooden chairs are thick with boredom
the boys stare at words that hide themselves
and the women are brave enough to still search for love
I can't hear a thing
A Toilet flushes
The loud thin aluminum and molar teeth Air Conditioner rattles like a starving stomach
I can hear pages being changed
Chairs slowly creaking
The chairs are considering suicide
They'll jump right out this window
Outside the construction workers are smoking
Outside a girl with a pumpkin colored sweater talks to a boy
Outside The Mobiles await their masters
Outside a single orange cone is placed next to an eight foot black light pole
And I stare at it
More interesting than the girl in a pumpkin colored sweater
more sound than the Library's hallways and book isles
More ****** and ****
More cigarette smoke
More sweat
Louder than a thousand heart beats drumming to the Tribal tune of life
**** with out feet dancing on hot coals and slaughtering a Cow for rain
The Cone waits
its plastic thick
bending in like the gut of an exiled starving Tribal member
The light pole Waits too
it avoids eye contact with the people that pass by
it makes small talk to the wandering insects looking for a junk lit fix
“Not for awhile, not for a while.”
The LampPole would say
and the insect would fly away on all of its wings
and hide in the trash can
or the muffler of a Camaro

Outside the trees are waiting
waiting for Mother Kansas Common Bird
For a nest
For an egg
For now the trees are bare
stripped like P.O.W
barley blooming

I wonder how those buds taste like

I see the Cone
still orange
still waiting for me to say
“Cone, I know you. I see that you wait.”
and perhaps this is what he was waiting for
Then the eight foot LampPole droops like lovely Egyptian ***** eyelashes

Outside
Outside
Outside
the Sun is open for business
Sun dresses
and
sun glasses
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting for boy
career
house
baby boy
******
love
ultimate Zen
but Career but House but Baby Boy Anthony oh so sweet but ****** but Love
gets in the way
and the Ultimate Zen is recollected as Silly as Childish as Unattainable
saying to herself
“Life has its plan”

But it doesnt
Zen still waits
Orange Construction Cone still waits
Eight Foot LampPole waits

Inside Inside Inside
Toilets are flushes
Books develop Mold like pregnancies
Inside *** dances in the mind with every passing Legs *** and *******
Inside carpets groan
inside dandruff
inside Clocks endlessly fueled by a battery
inside outside being stared at like the Ocean
and a boat with the Ultimate answer is on it
Inside nothing happens at all
Inside the Books are wondering where have their stomachs gone
Inside Legs and feet go numb
Inside Dry mouths smack
Inside lesbian couples kiss
Inside the florescent Lights shine without stop

I am inside
looking through the window
admiring the smooth **** chaotic curves and heights and birds of outside

-A woman in a pink sweater
-A man in a blue suit

When the world becomes heavy,
  take it inside

When the waves breach the levee,
  take it inside

When she just won’t stop asking,
  take it inside

When a friend is unmasking,
  take it inside

When the children have gone,
  take it inside

When the bad guys have won,
  take it inside

When the armies advance,
  take it inside

When you haven’t a chance,
  take it inside

When night lays unclaimed,
  take it inside

When excuses are blamed,
  take it inside

When the money’s all spent,
  take it inside

When your emotion’s been lent,
  take it inside

When the mime begins talking,
  take it inside

When the end comes back knocking,
  take it inside

When the music plays hollow,
  take it inside

When the Angels build lean-to’s,
  take it inside

When the berries have been picked,
  take it inside

When the Pope throws a fit,
  take it inside

When the words just won’t come,
  take it inside

When the choice zero-sum,
  take it inside

   “Inside there’s a fortress,
      with ramparts of light

   “One choice beyond choosing,
    —one vision beyond sight”

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2018)

standing on the inside looking out, the psych ward story




standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

you see i was visioning i was in glenelg bay

but instead you get doctors saying how are you enjoying your day

i wished i was well and enjoying my life

instead of being in here wasting away

then i called out to almighty god

and the best i can get is a man who claims he is jesus christ

i said, no, were you nailed to the cross

and he said yeah after i rode in on my horse

and i said wasn’t it a donkey you ran in on and i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

i was getting bored, so i asked the nurse

to give me a pass out to the cafe

because i was starting to lose my mind

and when they said no i let out a little wine

i said please please please, mate, this place is driving me mad

the inmates here, smell really really bad

so the nurse made me a banana smoothie and i said thanks

and took it away to my bed, walking past every room before mine

i even tripped over a piece of fishing line

then i sat down in my glenelg bay apartment sipping my smoothie saying

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

dinner time came and i had fish and chips

it was ever so discusting, ya know like hospital food

i opened my orange juice and gave it one almighty sip

and i ate my chocolate mousse, yeah it is as tasty as

when dinner was over i went to the TV room

to watch the news and home and away

then some dude came into watch it with me

and he said, did you know i was GOD, i said, no

as i sat there thinking i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward in the psych ward

in the psych ward trying to get bet-ter

captured in the psych ward, new year special




it’s new years eve and ron bought along his punch bowl and a few sushi dishes

as well as party sandwiches, to make the people in the psych ward have a good atmosphere

for the new year, and this year charlie chaplin man was going to read all of his poems as the

entertainment and the nurses did a lot of work so the patients feel calm enough to enjoy

charlie’s show, so medication time was before the show and even charlie, because he was worried

he would yell very loudly if he didn’t and then it started

ron said, ok guys we are going to have a mini new years eve concert run by this man charlie chaplin

charlie said, welcome and happy new year and my first song is   The schitzophrenic


You see I am sitting at the mall
I am having dillusions of people teasing me, and I wish this will all stop, oh please, just leave me the f..k alone
And then I hear voices that aren't really being said o hear Jon killed my best friend named Fred, the thing is I have no best friend, oh year
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first diagnosis till the day you reach 45, you see if i take medication it can be controlled yeah oh yeah
I am schitzophrenic
Then I went to see my psychiatrist and he told me, to try and get a life, I told him I was blackbeard and John F Kennedy, he just threw a smart *** comment my way, I thought that comment was rude and ******, yes it is hard to be liked when you do
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Yes it's easy to do, just let me hang out
You see with my medication it can be controlled, ooooh
I am schitzophrenic
You see I get paranoid when I see people around and right wing governments want us locked up
It mighty hard to have this illness and I cab say this
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Do it once and you get all hooked and after that you feel like a geek, cause your a schitzophrenic, and also with medication it can be controlled
Oooooh I'm a schitzophrenic
Yes, that's true

charlie said, that was a great song and it’ll get you started ya know, the next song is maybe later


maybe later, i will get what i want

maybe later, i will rediscover the beauty

of being alive in this great world

it’s just a long-awaited journey

from beginning to end

and i will try and enjoy the moment

in the psych ward spotlight

i say, please slow down, your moving too fast

please almighty one, let me live long enough to give

a poor old soul a home

they don’t want a bench and they don’t want an old burnt out hall

it’s not fun for me

to look at these big buildings

with hot shot business types, when your not one

it’s enough to drive you mad

please make me except it could be later




the next song charlie sang was standing on the inside looking out, a song that explains what we are going through


standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

you see i was visioning i was in glenelg bay

but instead you get doctors saying how are you enjoying your day

i wished i was well and enjoying my life

instead of being in here wasting away

then i called out to almighty god

and the best i can get is a man who claims he is jesus christ

i said, no, were you nailed to the cross

and he said yeah after i rode in on my horse

and i said wasn’t it a donkey you ran in on and i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

i was getting bored, so i asked the nurse

to give me a pass out to the cafe

because i was starting to lose my mind

and when they said no i let out a little wine

i said please please please, mate, this place is driving me mad

the inmates here, smell really really bad

so the nurse made me a banana smoothie and i said thanks

and took it away to my bed, walking past every room before mine

i even tripped over a piece of fishing line

then i sat down in my glenelg bay apartment sipping my smoothie saying

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

dinner time came and i had fish and chips

it was ever so discusting, ya know like hospital food

i opened my orange juice and gave it one almighty sip

and i ate my chocolate mousse, yeah it is as tasty as

when dinner was over i went to the TV room

to watch the news and home and away

then some dude came into watch it with me

and he said, did you know i was GOD, i said, no

as i sat there thinking i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward in the psych ward

in the psych ward trying to get bet-ter


charlie chaplin after that song was over sang his small poem titled a smile has nothing on us, here goes


whether you let out a big smile or not

you could add it to your melting ***

what you need is a great big melting ***

big enough to take the world and all it’s got

every thing that you can eat

my rundown car is really neat

the coffee urn is piping hot

boiling whether you like it or not

but your smile comes through and through

like a fresh flower, blooming every day for me and you

i try to smile all the time

cause  it’s very fun to do

i like smiling, cause it’s fun



charlie then announced his next song saying spare me, because when your poor you always say spare me. here goes


spare me some money for the bus

spare me some money for the bus

spare me some money

so i don’t look like such a dummy

spare me some money for the bus

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some cutlets

and some vegetables

thank you very muchlets

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some wine

so i can feel so divine

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some chocolate for after that

spare me some chocolate for after that

spare me some chocolate

so i can have what you have

spare me some chocolate for after that


charlie then said, my next song is every day is a day of disappointment because being here really *****


Every day is a day of dissapountment

One day as I was walking down a busy street, saying g'day to everyone who u walk past, then I went back through the park and I saw so many walks of life, from the beggars asking for money and the rich refusing to give it to them, and it all sounds so crazy as I walk through doing nothing like that, after that I felt a bit peckish, so I went to the take-away to buy myself an hamburger with egg and bacon and there was this weird looking fella standing at the door, greeting each customer with a smile, he didn't really work there, but he will never be told to leave, cause he ain't a threat, oh no, then after that I went to the grocery store to buy enough supplies to last me for a week, or maybe more, I could hardly know, then after that, all that shopping made me a bit thirsty, so I went to the sports club and drown my day away, with a ice cold fosters lager or a ice cold can of VB, after that I will get so drunk o could hardly stand up and my friends drove me home and they also walked me inside, just to make sure, I don't collapse on the front lawn, you see, your day seems to go from good to bad, if you make the wrong choices and that makes every day, a day of dissapointment, after that horrible night on the *****, I got up and had a hangover cure, consisting of two raw eggs and worcestershire sauce, yes that sounds so very tasty, yes I love it and live by it, it really makes me feel like I can have a party in my mouth and everyone is invited to spend about a year or so, at the local sports club doing one thing every single day, and then after that you won't seem like every day is a day of disappintment for everyone on this earth



charlie then decided to pretend he had a best mate named albert waldron and back then albert gave him lyrics to a song, here it goes



Alfred Waldron looking back, oh yeah



You see I was a great footballer, man
Yes, I was so ace, but it was a long long time ago
About close to 1 hundred years
You see I payed in South Australa
And I played footy very well, and after the match
I would go to my car, and get my BBQ an start cooking the snags
Yes, I loved that, it was really really cool
Everyone thought I was an average cook
And they all came over for some meat
Yes, I even had some nice cold beers
Yes, I think thats so very cool
As I cooked the meat, the other players were saying
Come on mate, cook us some nice beautiful Aussie snags
I also played cricket, for South Australia as well
And I even took my BBQ to the cricket for after match food
The only way you can do that now, is if you just stayed local
And some days, like at the footy and the cricket
Every player got very vocal
I was a real Australian guy, who loved to play, footy or cricket
And I loved the BBQ at the end, yes it was so esquized
Yes I had the muscles, and I have lots of those
Everyone enjoy eating a snag a sausage
And then an egg and bacon roll
Since that footy life ended i felt cool


ron said to charlie just one more song because people are yelling and we can’t control them, but charlie we will have the midnights fireworks for you, ok



charlie said he has got his fresh old legs going wild here it goes


they will dance

they will run

into the midday sun

they will race

warm embrace

be a bit lazy

head to the pub

go to the shop

to buy some clothes

angels coming down

worshipping the town

playing football

driving cars

around the good old town

having drinks with the guys

fresh flowers for sale at the shop at SHOPRITE

SHOPRITE SUPERMARKET

CUTTING ALL THE FOOD BILLS YEAH

spiders coming through the window

to destroy all mankind

makin g lamb for dinner

nicest you’ve ever seen

i said i will stay home and watch my mate, mr bean

yeah, your fresh legs go wild

when they do all these things

and before the end, charlie got the entire staff and patients to sing auld lent zine at 10.00 pm

because everyone was getting tired and cranky
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!




ron and charlie were helping each other clean up while the other patiens were being injected with ******

from yelling too much and after the cleanup was done, charlie went to the TV room to watch the fireworks

that were on at midnight on the TV, meanwhile, ron clocked off and went to the pizza hut and went home to

watch the fireworks on the TV thinking, today, ron made charlie a happy man, by letting him do his concert

it wasn’t till midnight but they can’t do that in the HDU.