I’d love to sleep in her arms
To understand why I leave you there
I bet she doesn’t shy away from phone calls
I sit in the waiting room clenching my teeth
You are in the other corner tapping your feet
No one calls us to bridge the gap that told us we where incomplete
Or dying
they always made us wonder why we weren’t good enough
To be together, obsolete
I know you see it for what it means


It’s daytime in the waiting room and it’s quieter than the screams you’re used to
I wish someone held your hand as you took your first steps
When everyone told you you was weak
I believed you were strong


You’re a mirror I talk to when I want to know me
I ask you to tell them about it if it’s bothering you that much
But your meaning defines your deceit
I don’t blame you for using a fake surname or using a lie to come to terms with the politics of loving no one

I like to think that you govern my emotions
Because there is a party here you’d like to lie about attending
One with a genuine pretence for the future
A bit like our prime minister

She’s wearing a mask just to protect herself from spending time in hospital
It pays well
She knows those floors and walls as well as I do
I was a patient there, she ran the ward
She took my blood and placed it in a tube
I waited to see if it could tell them how much I loved you
It couldn’t
So I didn’t say anything

You make me feel like I could handle a pandemic
You also make me feel sick