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Apr 2023
No one knows the truth, no one knows how I truly feel inside, how completely shattered I am by all of it and I just get to sit in silence. Pretending that I am okay to avoid the questions of why and the fact that I just am tired. Tired. Tired, so Tired. But why? I'm 21 why am I so tired? Why does it have to be this way? I feel so disconnected it’s crazy. I don’t believe my life went this way and I have no one to be there for me. I don't sleep, sleep isn’t even the right way to describe what I go through. I’m floating looking at my sad lifeless body toss and turning in the sheets begging for 1 second of rest. Then I wake up, and waking up is the worst, someway again I don’t fit in. Somehow I'm not enough today, somehow take photos for you to just look at another, somehow you revert back to your old ways. Do I revert back to mine, I was raised and viewed as some rag, some broom to help clean up. Maybe I revert back to that, I’m so tired of people's view of me as a parent, I’m sick I need help mentally, physically, and emotionally, you don’t know me and you try to say that how I feel isn’t a big deal, brush me off like the others. I don’t have anyone, no one. Wow, I look at my life as a whole always moving around and never once being able to be in the moment, always taking care of others, I never had a childhood, I barely remember my past, I don’t understand my present, I feel shame, unworthy, I am so tired. I didn't ask for this, I don’t want to be singled out in my life, and I wish I had courage. I wish I had peace.
ᏦᏗᏖ
Written by
ᏦᏗᏖ  22/F
(22/F)   
101
 
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