everyday i pick myself apart for the most stupidest reasons but i feel that it is justified. everyday i feel closer to losing my sanity that i had spent years trying to put it together. everyday i feel a surge of disappointment filling me up. everyday i feel like i am the bane of my own existence. everyday, everyday i feel closer to just muting the problems.

as i dig deeper and try so hard to understand myself, i only find reasons to hate myself completely. why do i look like? why am i acting this way? why i am so pathetic to the point its so annoying. i have no reasons to act this way. i have a good life.

or so it seems because my brain is my mortal enemy and i cannot escape from it.

everyday i try to ground myself and everyday i feel closer to death and everyday i try to make myself happy by coping with various tv shows but everyday when i let my thoughts lose i seem to have lost.

everyday i try to find a meaning in everything and i feel so lost.

everyday is miserable.