I wander between
Believing you really loved me or not

Whether it was just a name to put to
The intensity
The infatuation
The longing
The home
That we were

Words don’t come easily.
But my heart,
They are the lifeblood of a successful love.

I have to use my imagination too often
And she is a violent thing.

So
Let her in
She who comes after
My madness.
My love.

Tell her everything
Don’t make her guess
Don’t only tell her once
Don’t assume a title
Is enough to know the book.

Share your inner world
Tell her of your sorrows
The strange thoughts
The joy
The pain

All is worthy
All helps her understand

I think that’s what it came down to with us
Too much guessing
I never told you what you needed to hear
I sat in your silences guessing too often

It was hard
For both of us
To speak

You know,
Raising one voice
Encourages the raising of another.

So
Don’t make our same mistake.
Skip the wounding quiet
The voids where there should have been something.
Don’t discount the words
Because they mean nothing to you
Trust me
They will mean everything to her.
They will prevent the withdrawing from each other.

I will do the same.
I am not guiltless.
I am not without sorrow
And regrets.

And now you’re far from me.
It’s foolish, I know,
Speaking to you,
Here.

I try to tell you
All the things
I never could.

Maybe I will forgive us now
For our silence

By breaking it.