Timor mortis conturbat me
So I sleep, I sleep, I sleep
Now ends the Month of May
Kindnesses to keep

I might need a lawyer
She files for divorce
I'm all on my own
On my own, of course

I like little libraries
Made of wood and glass
Time just gets away from us
Things fall apart, alas

I like True Grit
Ms. Mattie Ross
Aging is painful
Loss after loss

               Reno!

Sandor Marai
      Embers
          kiss

All the King's Men
      Jack Burden
     responsibility

It's all wrong
But I persist
Aging
I resist

I'm older
Clenched fist
Dublin
Irish mist

     Wish

Catteleya in the morning
I wake and see you smile
Calm, gentle storm
We sit and talk awhile

London, Paris, Bangkok
Dublin, Tel Aviv, Taipei
Thank you for the traveling
Live to fly another day

                xie xie

Crossing the Baltic
young sons sung
       exoplanets!

A life of suffering, sadness, sin
If I could start all over
Where would I begin?

Fatherhood is gratitude
The joy of my three boys!
Cam Cam, Calyx, Quin

         Do my best. Don't win.
  
                  Jeremy Lin.

Call me the poet of gratitude
Call me suffering and sick
I remember City of Ember
Might reread Moby ****

Susan, Wendy, Cate
And I'm all alone
8088
Little black cell phone

              Culianu: Ioan.

Rain in the lamplight
Softly Seattle snow
Bullet train, Bullet train
I to Tokyo go

Life is hard, is suffering
Solamente yo
I reach out, repeatedly
And I love them so

              riverflow

I really miss you
Wonder what might have been
Courage see me through
3710. San Francisco Zen.

                   Adieu.

Sure, I've thought about suicide
End the pain. End the pain.
But I remember Malahide
And I still love Purple Rain

Gratitude for fatherhood
Even little conversations
Please keep them moving forward
My Mason education

Rain in the lamplight
All that Vienna snow
Moroccan mint tea
But truly - I don't know

Maybe no obituary
Just ashes to the sea
I miss my mom. I remember prom.
3033

                        We.

Lying in bed for days
Pain in my hip
This life is a Maze
I slide and slip

Fears for my children
Fears for my wife
Fears. Relentless fears.
The pain of ordinary life.

Once I saw the Golden Gate
Fog upon the bridge
Once I was a teacher
Still fond of little Sage Ridge

Now I'm just a dad
Sick. Lying in bed.
Please some good thing
Before I too am dead.

              Something said.

So I've written 23000 poems
Why? I do not know.
Had to get it out
Someone for to show

                 Slow.

I miss you yes I do
I miss, but miss in vain
La Florida, the land of flowers
Downbound Train

I like to write the poems
A kind of good insane
But I ain't cut out to be
No kind of Jesse James

        obsessed with names ...

54 and falling
55 is in sight
Silent is the grave
Gatsby's green light

Gratitude for phone calls
Will I see the beach?
The Rock of Eternity
Forever out of reach

                Teach.

All these years of poems
What for? What for? Why?
Sicker as I age
Exoplanets sky

Well wishes for Ms. Susan Meek
Wonder where I'll die
Maybe Michael Clayton
Maybe Life of Pi

                  Maybe I ...

Reading David Markson
Now that, my sons, is a book!
Don't take my word for it
Just take a look

Alone in New York City
Visiting Mexico
Some time in Spain
Hidey hidey hidey **

                Riverflow!

If I die alone, black cell phone
Throw my ashes to the sea
Book of Kells in Dublin
Man said meant to be

3 days in Vienna
Snow! Snow! Snow!
Basketball with my son
On we go. On we go ...

I'm growing older
I drift toward death
Arthur Edens
Reversaleth

I like movies
Michael Clayton
Spend my days
Always waitin'

I like movies
Star Trek yes!
Kabayashi Maru
Vision quest

For my sons
1000 thanks
Charlemagne
King of the Franks

           Paris!

I tweaked my hip. It hurts.
I fear I'm becoming old
Star Trek and Joan of Arc
Both go bold, go bold!

I like True Grit
I like Ms. Mattie Ross
I like Jeff Bridges
Sorry for your loss

Grey and rainy day
I just stay inside
More than 23 years
Since my mother died

Lost in Translation
Found in Tokyo
I ride the shinkansen
Yoko yo yo yo yo!

So tired and sad
Might be the diabetes
Sweet Sir Galahad
Just to do my best

Generous waitress tonight
Paid for my dinner
Gracias, Senyorita
I take a little rest

          Qualyxian Quest!

No one important
Hey, that's alright
3 young sons
2 green lights

I'm tired and lonely
Wanna sail away
With my boys
Callooh! Callay!

So tired so often
Can't even pray
Ending now
Month of May

       Someday!

Got him back safe
Gratitude
Dailiness
A little sleep

Such sadness
Tired, Tired
El futuro
Promises to keep

John Wayne's Teeth hey ya
Bus ride through the desert
Cristobal Colon-izer
Young sons sung

Tecumseh get your rifle
Tecumseh get your gun
For on the field tomorrow morn
You'll meet with Harrison

          Meet with Harrison

I eat my Impossible Burger
Say goodbye to my son
Born in downtown Taipei
Near Taipei 101

Just daily life
No miracles appear
Endurance. Steady.
Fight back against the fear

                 Aqui. Here.

Rain, rain today
I sleep late afternoon
Carnival's in town
I sing a Dylan tune

I drive him home tomorrow
Rain pours down like sorrow
Slowly. Another day.
Gracias xie xie.

California grey
Misty fog all day
Golden Gate Bridge
Better than L.A.

Tired. Si xie xie.
Dawn goes down to day
Exoplanets sky
Basketball to play

          my my hey hey

A bit better this morning
But still not that well
Tired, so tired
Ain't no tongue can tell

Time with my son
Keep him, Keep him safe
Find the energy
2088

Just to do my best
Help him along the way
4044
Dawn goes down to day

The sadness, the sadness

                 help!

I've got the despair today
Don't really wanna live
Lay down on my couch
Drifting off to sleep

           weep. weep.

I'm tired and I'm lonely
Carnival in town
My oldest son can drive now
Soon the cap and gown

It's painful, this little life
Can't quite relax
Regrets, remorse, Regrets
Anxiety attacks

I like so many movies
Closing scene of True Grit
Please not Donald Trump again
Full of American ****

If I die near water
Ashes to the sea
Here just a little while
In Dublin meant to be.

          Si, senyorita. Si.

Ireland. Mist. Kells.

           Witherells.

.......Death just takes us.....
Our virtues and our vices
                So long!

I would like to have True Grit
And ride for Mattie Ross
I grow old and grow older
Learn to live with loss

Movies have been companions
I share them with my boys
Am I workin' in the Spirit
Or am I unemployed?

I don't like Ben Shapiro
Right wing racist hate
Tired. Exoplanets.
Candidates debate

Gonna read Rushdie
Gonna die and be forgotten
Please protect my boys
From the ill begotten

                  Amen.

Ordinary dailiness
The sun, the moon, the rain
Ordinary dailiness
Ordinary pain

I've read a lot of books
Once I was a teacher
Never gave a sermon
Truly ain't no preacher

Snow Falling on Cedars
Reno black smoke sky
In my solitude
Not her kinda guy

Grateful for my dad
Grateful for good sleep
In my solitude
Read 'em. Read 'em and weep.

A long time comin'
Misery and strife
Grateful for my boys
Saviors of my life

I like books and movies
Gonna read Rushdie's Knife
I'm all on my own
No help from my wife

Break My Rusty Cage
Get Back to where I once belonged
My parents too live
In the Springsteen song

Best wishes for Mark
And Sacramento Heather
Will I die in California
And disappear forever?

Cities more than countries
Homage to Barcelona
Me in misty Dublin
Sleep perchance to dream

The American Abyss
Please play local, Miss
Embers final kiss
Bounce pass for my team

              silent scream

American politics is an Abyss
A ******* country like this
Fascism with an American twist
Falling falling falling

           Pero: basketballing!

Desperately Seeking Susan
O those 80s ladies!
I'm tired. Exoplanets.
I holler out your name

No hope. Drift toward death.
Solitude. Seclusion.
Alien intrusion?
I serve the Secret Flame

I keep posting True Grit
I like that Mattie Ross
Not to count the cost
How the West was lost

I'm Northern California
Cool grey city of love
Exoplanets up above
Tidal pools, Moroccan mint tea

In Ireland - Johnny Cash
One day I'll be ash
40 shades of green
Finnegan's Wake for me

I wrote, yes I wrote
Took to the Stockholm boat
Landed in Helsinki
Please protect my 3

           xie xie ni

I'm gonna read Knife
Book by Salman Rushdie
His is an interesting life
Alas and alack for him

Such a pretty church
England, lovely England
Mr. C.S. Lewis
In Florida long ago

America is corrupt
I have corruption too
Pondicherry Zoo
No real hope for me

Episcopaliens!
Walk in Purple Rain
Downbound, Downbound Train
I drift, I drift toward death

                quiet breath

When I'm in this library
I write about California
Not sure why
Dreaming of the sun

It doesn't work out right
She files for divorce
My child born in downtown Taipei
Near Taipei 101

The religions are not true
But she whispers in my ear
Such a pretty church!
Please give up your guns

I tend toward the serious
Often death obsessed
La bibliotecha
Pero un pequito fun.

I'm gonna be forgotten
Like I was never even born
Scary. Very scary.
Hopeless and forlorn

Hugs she said to me
How I wish it were so
3033
All that Reno snow

California dreamin'
The beach in Monterrey
Best wishes for Mark
Dawn goes down to day

             Yea, verily. Yea.

A little rain today
A little vegetarian pizza
Slept late and long
Panic grows within

Talk to my son
He does his homework
Dr. William Thomas
Thomas means the Twin

The sadness will last forever
Cannot be assuaged
Still fond of little Reno
Basketball to win

Tired. Exoplanets.
San Francisco Zen
Woke up this morning
Always to begin.

Amateur means one who loves
That's what I wish to be
Best time we ever had
Cycling by the Baltic Sea

I'm lonely as I age
At times I've had my fill
Sleep. Deep dreaming.
Destiny to thrill

                   Movies!

I like the rain in the lamplight
And the California snow
I miss my friend Mark
Stanley and Zero

I keep posting on Facebook
Star Trek and True Grit
Please not Donald Trump again
He's full of American ****

The bookstore was quiet
I might read Knife
Susan Darlene Meek
Alas, not my wife

European history
All those speeding trains
I post and then I wait
All my hopes in vain

                  Bangkok rain!

I'm a troubled soul
With a bipolar mind
I take my injections
I hope you treat me kind

I like True Grit
Star Trek, O Brother
23 years later
I still miss my mother

California snow
Reno black smoke sky
Courage, please courage,
When it comes my time to die

                Aye! Aye! Aye!

I don't believe in censorship
And I don't believe in ****
Lonely as I age
Hopeless and forlorn

I do believe in movies
Would like to be reborn
The hour is getting late
Mint tea in the morn

                   Hope!

The fantasy
Is that it gets picked up
After my death
Who was that masked man?

The reality
Is that I'm nobody important
Short drive to the cemetery
Ashes to the ocean

                 Farewell!