And I held my heart
In my hands today,
I held it close,
As it slipped away,
So still it sat in my sweaty palms,
Trying very hard to remain calm.

But it's hard,
When you're alone,
Such silence,
Empty home,
Closing in,
Opening up,
Smaller sins,
Bigger cuts.

I am ribboned,
Arm skin torn,
Bloodied fists,
My veins are worn,
Less and lesser still,
I can't help it anymore,
I'm racing for the ****.

Don't let me die,
Stop the bleed,
You're nearly gone,
The planted seed,
Growing roots,
Taking hold,
Forever young,
Never old.

A questioned thought,
Raising quick,
As my blood, it runs,
Pooling thick,
My fragment thoughts,
Breaking apart,
How do I bleed,
Without a heart?

I am free,
Like I never believed
Possible,
And it's improbable
That it'll continue
Beyond today,
But I'll continue,
And it doesn't matter what they say,
And it doesn't matter what they do,
Nothing's stopping me
From being me,
And nothing'll stop you
From being you,
And if you don't believe,
That doesn't stop the truth
From being true.

Hold it up,
Victory in a cup,
Drink, and don't worry
About what they think,
It doesn't matter what they think
Cause their thoughts are bought
And yours are born.

Let all others be warned,
You're a walking class 5
to the tenth rolling storm,
Ready to touch down
Shake the ground,
Bringing unsteady
people to their knees,

Begging please!
Stop this truth!
It can't be true!
I don't believe you!

And all you have to say is
You don't have to,
Believe one single word,
It's too absurd,
Just be warned,
What you think,
What you think you thought was born,
And I was born.

It hurts to be your pain,
Apologies made in vain,
I'm a whispered shout,
We're not the same,
I know you want out.

My fists are bloodied,
But I think it's kind of funny,
How in our aftermath of our storm,
It always comes out bright and sunny,
With emptied burdens,
Broken hearts,
Healing wounds,
A new start.

I know I ain't what I used to be,
I know it's hard to look at what you see,
Believe me,
The mirror ain't my friend,
The cracks in my reflection start to bleed,
And I can't help but feed,
The wound for the swoons,
The high that supplies our fuel,
The tool that destroys me from the inside,
And I'm not surprised,
I can't lie,
It's feels good to feel bad,
To see you sad,
And know it's me,
It's control,
It ain't right but you see,
It's all I've had and I know it's sad,
You've every right to be mad,
But I'm here in bloodied clothes to let you know that I'm glad,
That you stayed by my side,
Through every fight and every lie,
I couldn't say that if you left I'd be surprised.

Just know my heart's a masterpiece,
Manic morbid sadomasochistic malevolence,
Vivid violence,
Silver silence,
Simple mystery,
I believe,
My heart's a masterpiece.

Don't watch me bleed,
Pick it up,
Pick it all up,
And place it in your cup,
From which you drink your sins nightly.
You're so unsightly,
Your mother should have aborted,
How she could have supported,
That monster you are,
Disgusts me,
You're such a star.

Supernova,
You're brighter than any,
You're a quarter to my penny,
A dime to my dim,
Slim to my exact,
Addition to my subtract,
The loser to my win.

Supernova,
Monster mystery,
I reflect in your shadow,
In your shadow I am me,
Dark and discreet,
I knock at your door,
Invited in, I have a seat,
Wine please, more,
I am minor, major; I implore.

Supernova,
I lay death at your feet,
I lick the edges,
I taste defeat,
I've walked the ledges,
Life I've met, despair I'll meet,
Just you wait,
Supernova symphony,
I faint beautifully,
In wake of your sleep,
River wrists,
Dare slumber keep,
My heart at rest,
Supernova symmetry,
Torn apart at best.

I can't stand the world I'm living in,
But it's what I got,
So I lay down,
And I forgot.

Forgot to hate all I can't change,
Forgetting how it remains the same,
Losing track of what still hurts,
And I've forgotten who to blame,
For the scars.

I can't stand under the weight of regret,
It's begining to set,
So I lay down,
And I forget.

Under the glow of morning break,
Over the course of evenings end,
I replay what I've forgotten,
And I remember you, my friend.

Who stood the test of time,
Of my burdens ever growing,
And only gave when I pushed,
I did it all without knowing,
How to,

Forgot to hate all the things I can't change,
Forgetting how it continues to remains the same,
Losing track of what still hurts,
And I've forgotten who to blame.

I remember when I was a potato,
About to die
By the fry-
-ing pan,
And that was the devious,
Devilish,
Fiendish,
Plan.

They wanted me
Like lust from their bellies,
Their pillow lint belly buttons
Begged for my meat,
Calling for my ****
By boiling, rolling, heat.

I did what I could,
With my potato eye!
I rolled like Ollie
Away from the fry!

Went off the counter
Landed with a smack,
Swore to my potato skin
That I ain't going back!

I rolled across the floor
Right under their nose!
A small child saw me
Said to his ma,
"Mr.potato head, there he goes!"

I soldiered on,
Got dirt in my eye!
But swore to myself,
Never the fry!

So I was near the door
Rolling a lopsided way,
I could see the light,
The sweet light of day!

I tried to roll faster
And tunnel sighted my eye,
I was getting so close
I was screaming "Goodbye!"

Then between the counter and door,
A distance I mistook,
Out went the sun,
And I was squished, underfoot.

I feel your hands,
Colder then they should be,
You always said,
"It won't happen to me"

But you were wrong,
And I told you so,
Then I promised,
To never let you go.

So you sleep,
A coma under sheets,
I cry for you,
While picking what to keep.

I was,
So lucky you were loaded when you showed up on my door,
I could,
Have cried for I knew exactly what was going be in store,
For our,
Life that started with Rolex love at first sight,
I knew,
I could live on easy street if I just played my cards right.

I shed my weighted tears,
While you're visited by your boy,
Little do they know,
That these are tears of joy.

I can see it all now,
The things that I will own,
I never imagined the happiness,
That comes when I'm finally alone.

I will,
Pawn off every stupid thing that you have ever loved,
Just for,
Fun I will buy those five thousand dollar gloves,
And roll,
Naked in the money I will get when you pass,
And never,
Have to sleep in the stench of your,
Midnight gas.

It was so sad,
They ask and I say,
He just tripped and fell,
On that bright summer day.

Now I wonder what to do while he sleeps,
The monitor continues to buzz and beep,
The sound is jarring,
It really starts to bug,
Me,
Then the light goes on in my head,
I'll just pull the plug,
Hee heee :D

I wait till everyone goes away,
And I slowly sneak into his room,
I start to smile and giggle,
It will all be mine real soon,
My hands start to shake,
I simply cannot wait,
To take what is rightly mine,
Surly this is a sign,
I couldn't imagine,
Life being so kind.

The moonlight shines bright,
A subtle shade across his face,
I watch the last moment of his life,
My hair stands on end and my heart begins to race.

I reach for the cord just beyond my finger tips,
My head is screaming that this is finally it,
Then his eyes flutter open in a gasping breath,
At the very last second he is saved from death...****.