Any idea regarding who unnamed individual earned such lofty title? I offer a clue, that averred person unknown to many others within the webbed, wide world, and familiarity limited to smattered kith and kin. Lemme know if dead giveaway ala handy dandy blues clue prompted that "aha" realization.

Hero worship in the age of cynicism
baffles one disillusioned eccentric,
who prides himself (without prejudice),
bolstered courtesy his sense and sensibility
self actualized ex post facto
compliments of nasty
and brutally destructive
purblind (in retrospect,
raffish, selfish) endeavors
nearly devastating, harpooning

cocky eye looey fella,
lopping, et cetera
pledged troth July twenty fifth
nineteen hundred and ninety six
made when unbridled marital covenant accepted,
scuttled in favor of liberating libidinal longings
largely licensing licentious liaisons
simultaneously, permanently, and majorly
compromising, jeopardizing, violating
once especially cherished bonds

between father of two darling daughters,
(the eldest - a recent
University of Pennsylvania alumni
approaching her twenty eighth birthday
December 22nd, 2024 -
once upon a time hashtagged as daddy's girl)
cut himself down to size of raw bits
particularly indecorous flagrant callousness
emotional and financial niggardliness
he lavished with paltry

acquired scant monies
acquired courtesy family beneficence
(chump change received such as
for mine birthday and holiday gifts -
cashed treasury bonds before maturity)
spent acquisition or borrowed currency
on meager trappings for yours truly
where (barely able,
nay impossible mission) to meet costs
of living social on the MainLine

within Lower Merion School District
offered superlative public education -
to challenge first born GIEP student
and second offspring,
who exhibited developmental delay,
thus whose IEP pared down so she could
rally approbation in the form
of attagirl, kudos, stickers, et cetera)
slightly more manageable,
yet being chronically unemployed

(and unemployable – before qualifying
for government largesse)
until I met criteria
and bankrolled unearned income
to receive social security disability,
still sorely challenged person
writing these words
to meet paying rent and utilities,
and also linkedin
to significant mental health challenges

in tandem with faith no more,
and abandonment of attaining potential smarts
regarding accessing academic gifted aptitude
thwarted, stymied, hijacked to Cuba, et cetera
marked ambivalence toward self success
nearly failed every grade
even kindergarten - ha
and sustained behavioral pattern
earning me poor marks
when launching feeble

attempts to work,
and managed to witness being terminated,
thus accruing splendid curriculum vitae awash
with horrendous, and deleterious feedback
unflattering to say the least
and unfavorable to college/
university admissions officials,
plus being long haired
pencil neck geek
when doos more conservative),

a definite strike against
unseen positive impression
videre licet in the eyes of potential employer,
whereby poor performance
track record signaled a red flag
accumulating over time
to affect dark shadows qua nine inch nails
scratching across outsize blackboard,
foo fighting, beastie boys bullying
scaring the bejesus out of me unsure

outer limits of the twilight zone
inhabited, where the wild things live
hovering at the edge of night
subsequently spurring yours truly
to dejectedly slink along
the hallowed halls of higher learning
to savor the sounds of silence
being secreted and sequestered
within bedroom inside domicile
of my boyhood, adolescence,
and emerging adulthood.

Omnipresent grief and horror
abounds toward ceaseless killing fields
impossible mission for me
to summon forth fading magic powers
since Delilah imposter hashtagged,
(and subsequently outed)
as a mortal (know your) enemy, -
nevertheless became the love of my life -
(sent by complicit
Philistine officials to entice me)

nearly found yours truly
inveigled, ensnared, and ambushed
in sinister plot to lop off
cherished locks of love
while immersed in deep sleep,
when I came to just in the nick of time,
and wrested control by grabbing scissors
being violently brandished
courtesy turncoat paramour,
a mere hair breath away

from snipping brunette tresses of mine:
luckily a surge of strength
coursed thru body electric
allowing, enabling and providing me
golden opportunity
to don invisible cloak of invincible
and trumpet genuine ambition dash off
to the Middle East
shucking any intent to proselytize,
but availing these

threescore and five year old
helping hands of mine
never subjected to laborious
rigorous back breaking work,
and matter of fact I figuratively
and literally short changed myself
courtesy mental health issues
that plagued yours truly
even as a young lad
forever ostracized, intimated, and excluded

predicated upon diminutive
physical mite size boy
noticeably socially withdrawn,
and when I did stammer out an utterance
the vocalization soundedly severely nasal
(envision thumb and index finger
of one or the other hand
clamping the nostrils)
attributed to submucous cleft palate,

a congenital defect of the palate,
which forms the roof of the mouth;
said cleft (or opening)
located underneath the mucous membrane,
which the tissue that covers
the roof of the mouth:
A submucous cleft affects the uvula,
which is the long tissue that hangs
from the back of the palate.

After years of wearing a removable
oral prosthetic device -
(since surgery could only guarantee
a fifty fifty outcome of correction), -
said contrivance latched onto
front upper and rear teeth
the surrounding strengthened
to decrease high pinched sound.

Unsure if and/or how whimsical notion
(to volunteer in whatever humble capacity)
yours truly could bring to fruition
to ease the humanitarian crisis
since abundance of individual strands
thinned since prime (mating) years
witnessed a visible thinning
and concomitant ebbing of prowess

sorely affects brute strength
of one ailourophilic, generic,
and politic wordsmith
feeling blessed with soundness
of body, mind and spirit
courtesy of the English language,
hence drawn to the milieu of communication
in general and writing in particular.

within complex edifice...
derelict hulking corpse delineated courtesy
seared, singed, smoldered smithereens
formerly robust warrior
slain during prime of his life
heavenly corporeal outstanding entity
subjected to fateful foragers
courtesy camping buzzfeeding carrion -
fancy feast for famished
uber twittering, jump/kick starting
crowing angry birds

made short shrift
decayed discarded detritus
filched flesh from felled soldier
denuding human legendary poet
picked bone clean
his once powerful promising physique
skeletal remnants displayed burnt offerings
abandoned sun bleached,
petrified lovely bones
strewn across a field of shattered dreams
desiccated skull detached situated askew

athwart castoff liberated phalanges
impossible mission to envision
former formidable specimen
fallen hero pronounced earthen imprint
traced impression outlining
his outsize stature
bonafide definition where his corpse laid
only memory remains of doodling yankee,
(a Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe)
harkening back and plucked from
the "little town that time forgot
and the decades could not improve."

Composite character sketch
of arbitrary conjured fighting
jaunty opportunistic understudy
strong likely to be template
of actual anonymous template
forgotten in the aftermath melee of battle
subsumed by and belonged to history,
a bit part he played after
North and South pitted against each other,
though the former named Union soldiers
during the War Between the States
acquired many names and nicknames,

especially by the Confederates:
They were called Billy Yank,
blue bellies or blue coats,
which spontaneously generated idea
came to my mind linkedin
to a personal affinity
for aforementioned rebellion to some people
after Confederate troops fired
at 4:30 a.m. April 12, 1861
on Fort Sumter April 1861
initially President Lincoln
described the situation as an “insurrection.”

But within months,
he instead adopted “rebellion.”

That word evoked
a more distinctly negative connotation
then than it does today,
or rather prior to the heavily armed,
Trump-incited mob attack
of Jan. 6, 2021, an attack
(premeditated in my humble opinion)
not just on the U.S. Capitol building,
but also on democracy and the rule of law.

Though at no time did I enlist
in the armed services,
(although after high school
my parents coaxed, goaded,
and loathed their second born
and only son intimating
becoming a nonconformist,
and nonestablishmentarian, ne'er do well,
(which outcome adequately sums
up how mein kampf evolved),
nevertheless yours truly exhibits

psychologically traumatic wounds
synonymous with the horrors of mortal kombat,
and clear out of the blue
behavior associated with deadly carnage
oozed out from every one of my pores,
misleading an observer to deduce
writer of these words experienced
and underwent text book example
being shell shocked
under heavy bombardment.

At present attention of mine plugged into a biography titled Custer's Trials | A LIFE ON THE FRONTIER OF A NEW AMERICA | storied author T.J. STILES, current reading material populates thought processes of mine with trappings of internecine bloodshed forever wrenching fledgling United States of America away from slave holding Southern lifestyle.

Enslaved people in the antebellum South constituted about one-third of the southern population. Most lived on large plantations or small farms; many enslavers owned fewer than 50 enslaved people. Landowners sought to make their enslaved completely dependent on them through a system of restrictive codes.

Despite the temperature being five below...
these fingered handy limbs
awash with profuse sweat
dripping palms analogous
to a ****** busted gushing water main.

Mein kampf analogous
to a self made prisoner
who cannot escape being terrorized
and tortured within invisible
hermetically sealed walls of air tight prison
regularly hunted down
courtesy malevolent daemons
blood curdling deathly silent screams
echo within the sound of silence.

Earlier today some jokester
(like a batman out of hell
came round boppin
like some robin
after their diet of worms)
riddling mine psyche
into a war torn zone analogous
into a veritable no man's land
heavily strewn with deadly explosives

detonating deafening explosive
rife with volatile anxiety,
I felt hunted and targeted
like a common criminal
forced to scuttle
meager barebones existence,
and gladly plunge into an abyss
unbeknownst to me
on par with Dante's inferno.

Hours after grueling life and death battle
keppie (in Yiddish a lighthearted
and endearing way
to refer to a head or forehead)
severely suffered bruises and lacerations
courtesy familiar enemy
(known to me donned
as trumpeting evil
doppelgänger barren of virtue)
relentlessly sadistically and tyrannizing
mutilating corporeal flesh
until flayed muscle and tendon
abandoned as ****** heap.

Visitation of cruel taskmaster
(omnipresent every waking
and sleeping moment of hellish
fiery brimstone existence)
repeatedly brutalized yours truly,
no matter I did plead for mercy
for spirit who usurped eminent domain
to please cease and desist
punishing life lessons
making a cameo appearance

after a reprieve of temporary truce
to drive me towards the maws of death,
yet stopping just shy of beating
the living daylights out
generic lovely bones genetically assigned
to one frazzled sexagenarian,
whose hellish existence
nearly brought to an untimely end
when victimized fellow
subjected to a maelstrom

of suicidal ideation
when a mere adolescent lad
and days, weeks, months...
years, decades, scores
of ragged orbitz round the sun
chock full of accursed torment
barely alleviated courtesy
nine prescription medications
authorized by credentialed nurse practitioner
predicated on symptoms of social anxiety,

dysthymia, obsessive compulsive disorder
absolute zero relief
against wanton depredations
rendered ineffective today
the seventh of June
two thousand and twenty four,
hence a feeble intent to communicate
insufferable beast of burden
wracking one figurative rolling stone.

I managed to drive to and fro a short outing
dodging, hedging, lunging away
from slippery grasp of nemesis
attempting to pull
at sorry these excuse for legs
nevertheless seriously lacerating epidermis
only to realize, the horrific killer
left his tell tale signature
with ****** phalanges
dangling from wrists linkedin to my arms.

hence yours truly (me)
seeks mental health services
without any luck
even after reading Scripture
from my namesake who exuded pluck
after paging thru
the AETNA Medicare directory,
whether a group practice or individual,
I expended energy and precious time today
June sixth two thousand and twenty four

hoping to get linkedin and truck
with a suitable therapist,
cuz various and sundry issues
such as chronic anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive compulsive disorder,
and panic attacks plagues
sexagenarian old body electric
matter of fact mein kampf
and hard times reducible
to four letter description
conveyed by the word yuck.

Exhaustion prevails courtesy emotional distress
self evident to any anonymous reader
predicated on morose poetry of mine
invariably discouraging positive ambitions
for friendship receiving,
yet I experienced
unexpected welcome response
from over the hills and far away
where Teletubbies come to play with me,
whose fealty being a ***** buddy
gratitude sexagenarian does express
and so what if three score
plus five year old does regress.

Once upon a time
more than half century ago,
in a faraway galaxy
this second born and singular son
of Harriet and Boyce Harris
(mother and father since passed away
May third two thousand and fifteen,
and October seventh
two thousand and twenty respectively) though
both parents during their lifetime
beset with impossible mission
to administer to my psychological woe
and actually unwittingly exacerbated

dysfunctional behavior of mine
exhibited, jump/kick started,
and witnessed videre licet
courtesy their verbal
browbeating with ultimatums
aghast at irregular impulsive decisions
to attend this, that or another institution
of higher learning
post high school graduation
psyche subjected to actions experienced
being whipped back and forth,
to and fro, hither and yon
analogous to ma yo-yo.

Scads of irrational thought processes
bombard nooks and crannies
within me swiftly tailored
harried styled noggin
sense and sensibility
doth create veritable boondoggle
stumping psychological masterminds
even Sigmund Freud himself if alive
would be mystified and ask ghost writer
of Mary Shelley to craft sequel,

where Doctor Victor Frankenstein
rids trademark neurosis of mine
shape shifting Matthew Scott Harris'
witnessed when whirled
wide web of electrodes
activated courtesy toggle
subsequently flash brilliant lightning bolts
in tandem with deafening booming thunder
reconfiguring bitta bing bitta
chitty chitty bang bang switch  

rendering corporeal cerebral flesh
truly significantly reconstituting
dogma, enigma variations, karma,
and persona of aforementioned
poet of Perkiomen Valley into altered state,
whose psychological state now mimics,
dovetails, and approximates
that of Neanderthal man
forever linkedin to seventh heaven.

orchestration, and utilization,
a moss fungi (fun guy) attests his marriage
synonymous with symbiotic relationship.

Nostalgic acquiescence about fictitious life,
oblivescence about current travails
and reminiscence about
transcendence into utopia
prompts me to revisit livingsocial,
now that yours truly
among the grateful dead.

As a saprophyte,
the missus buzzfeeds off me lovely bones
once plump with excess adipose tissue
otherwise known as body fat,
a connective tissue
that extends throughout body electric
found under your skin (subcutaneous fat),
between your internal organs (visceral fat)
and even in the inner cavities of bones
(bone marrow adipose tissue).

Over the ensuing two score and ten years
after pledging our troth, the missus
(opposed with a vehemence
keeping her maiden name,
or even acquiescing
maintaining surname
with hyphae fun nation),
and yours truly at one time or another
from the day we met
until the present moment

invariably, intolerantly, intimately,
intentionally, intemperately, insultingly,
insufficiently, insidiously, insincerely,
insensitively, insensibly, inscrutably,
inquietly, injuriously, inhospitably,
inharmoniously, infuriatingly, infernally,
inexorably, ineffably, indubitably,
indescribably, indelibly, incredibly,
increasingly, incessantly, incalculably,
ineluctably molded unnamed spouse.

Truth be told, the grudging acceptance to wed
made indirectly and courtesy
unbeknownst and linkedin
to our unborn eldest daughter
about four months in utero,
when marriage date chosen
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
since yours truly and my then girlfriend
abstained from birth control
tantamount to playing Russian roulette,
and decided to let natural insemination
trigger conception between
twelve and twenty four hours after ovulation.

Neither of us the least bit prepared
economically nor emotionally,
which urge to procreate
superseded sense and sensibility,
and in retrospect,
I readily admit flagrant
negligent ****** recklessness
(no matter physical ******* monogamous),
and an adamant refusal to use prophylactic
or more commonly known as ******.

Though excited to sow seminal seeds of life
a panic stricken state afflicted me,
when consensual concurrence
to consummate copulation occurred,
nevertheless ecstasy at potential fatherhood
brought courtesy the resultant
unexpected positive result
yielded from pregnancy kit.

Back in the day libidinal longing
(in my pinion) wracked ****
of accursed celibate
Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe,
where merest suggestion
of ******* thoughts
hounded doggone muttering
dove head lettered man
all the way to Antioch
feverish pitch I could not block
found mine doodling ****
to crow night and day
without let up to dock
****** solitude a worse fate
than therapy zapping gray matter
with wave after wave oven electroshock,
a divine sterling erectile rod
hoping gallivanting frisky felines would flock.

The views and opinions herewith extemporized to spur discourse with me, or to be mindful when exercising the right to vote in the country of your existence, which expressed intimation predicated upon read reliable publications such as Mother Jones, Smithsonian Magazine, The Nation, The Week, and TIME Magazine, which trustworthy and reputable sources of information brought to the fore of me noggin an alarming concern for those who consider themselves liberal Democrats, Libertarians and even moderate Republicans aware of avast conglomeration of bullies hell bent on usurping power upon  self aggrandizement, or exploitative foreign policy necessitating the need for courageous actions witnessing demagogic control over the inalienable rights inherent in all species to thrive to the limits of their potential unviolated, unmolested, and unharmed.

Omnipresent lurch toward authoritarianism...

not only self evident
across these United States of America,
but also prophetic throughout
the developed nations
of the webbed wide world
threatens progressive states' rights
linkedin to the former -
purported best western country
potentially upending hard fought freedoms
of nascent life, liberty

and the pursuit of happiness
manifesting invisible hand,
where secular humanism
throve against patriarchal churchly dictates
early in American history,
where radicals of the day
destined to stamp out blind faith
courtesy antithetical, heretical,
and parenthetical () proud zealots
awash with indignation

(causing more than indigestion) against
analogous strait jacket
inhibiting once noble savage,
whose inchoate acquisition of cognition,
and subsequent recognition,
where donned liberals of the day
trumpeted sedition visa vis
fancying, discovering, and broadcasting
idea promoting innovative
socially mediated shutter flying,

twittering, tick tocking contract
where biblical ethos did captcha
cannibalistic, fatalistic, immoralistic
fifty bajillion shades of gray matter
as eminent domain
established Judeo-Christian paradigm
across then global realm,
which mindset promulgated hegemony
quashing nativist bred beliefs
violently lashing, teeth gnashing,

saber flashing clashing, et cetera
with awakening enlightenment
Yes (Blue Oyster Cult)
initially fomented Mötley Crüe
dead set upon imposing might as right
stifling pockets of
surprisingly strong resistance
fostering eventual seeds of dissent
countless times sparking renegade
to spill figurative beans

to iron maiden adversary
fielding winning outcome
to totalitarian potentate,
nevertheless intermittent feeble mutiny arose
quickly jump/kick starting disguised claque
to depose the loathsome enemy
intent to extinguish belligerent autocrat,
who forcefully usurped dominance
slaying population of primitive peoples
brutally forcing young

abducted fecund females
to beget progeny populating domain
courtesy nasty, ruthless vainglorious warlords
wreaking mayhem and bedlam
in an angry bird like effort
to create opportunistic scenario
for successful invasion
of the body snatchers,
particularly at the helm
guiding analogous ship of state

one oafish outsize, and portly
self proclaimed führer of sought after *****
ideally bloviated, inerbriated, and venerated
over stuffed ego freezer
donning his spiffy, haughty, doughy body
sporting noggin atop which sits
trademark hirsute orange mop top
inciting the capital one furious mob
(poised and pregnant
metaphorically like tightly coiled tension

able, eager, ready, and willing
just impatiently waiting proper cue to strike
like stormy Daniels)
at the mercy of their commander
leading his ragtag army in battle
imagine dragons bellowing fiery ejaculations
where amidst the pandemonium
militaristic troops unwittingly  
hold entire country hostage at gunpoint
no exit (stage door left)

nor escape for any unfortunate
soon to become prisoner
seeking soul asylum,
an impossible mission
(even for one as adept as Peter Graves)
caught in the figurative and literal maws
of long planned coup d'état
fascistic die hard armed force
encircling the seat of government
miles beyond the outer limits

of the concertina wired zone,
where dark shadows
hover signalling a severe thunderous storm
analogous to perpetual edge of night
obscuring the sheltering sky
depicting deafening soundcloud
and the final gasping exhalations
of chastened democracy.